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... Send *d206 a private message | | | *d206's profile:Hi, my name is Cat and I'm 22 years old. I live in various cities in the UK since the city where I study and where my family live are different. I'm currently just out of a relationship and enjoying the single life for a while. I don't know that I am qualified to help people but I'd like to try. I've had a lot of experiences in my life and despite being quite young I'm always helping my friends with their problems. I'd like the chance to help all of you too. Feel free to private message me anytime.If you do however, please include some details of your problem as I answer a lot here and can't always remember specific problems. With big hugs, Cat xx |
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I want to help her but i feel she is trying to permanently break us up!
Q. My girlfriend was pregnant with another guy's baby, way before i met her, but seeing as i loved her i was fine with that, we have been going out for 3 weeks yesterday when she told me she was worried about the baby and wanted a few days break from ...
A. 14 January 2007: I think you just have to tell her you're still there for her and hope she knows from that that you still care for her. If you pressure her too much you might push her further away which is the last thing you want to do but she might see it that way. ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me. Is he just trying to be nice?
Q. I know this is probably a stupid question...but iv been going out with this guy for less than two weeks and he already says he loves me, and he asks me if i love him...i mean yes i really like him, but dont love him as such yet, surly he isnt being ...
A. 14 January 2007: I think he really likes you and is mistaking those feelings for love. Quite often with guys our age they seem to say I love you and mean I lust you. In my opinion, at least, love is the comfortable settled feeling you have with someone when the non ... (read in full...)
He left a naughty note for me, but his mum found it. Help!!
Q. i gave my boyfriend a JOKINGLY naughty note like i totally didnt mean any of it and he knew that and he took it jokingly. because we both agreed to no sex before we're married. and he accidently left the note on his kitchen table and his mom found ...
A. 14 January 2007: Show this mother that you're a mature and wonderful person. Call her and tell her that the note was only meant as a joke and that you're so sorry she was upset by it. Tell her you love and respect her son and that you both agree with sex before ... (read in full...)
I feel that I can never have a good relationship because of my poor body image! Any advice for me?
Q. Well, I suffer huge self confidence issues. I hate my body which I feel is not as slim as I would like it to be and what’s more is also scarred with hideous stretch marks after a fairly chubby me had lost weight when I entered high school and ...
A. 14 January 2007: I read this as if I wrote it myself. Trust me, as soon as your self confidence starts to go you're on a sliding slope. You absolutely have to try and claw some of it back. Try to write down three things you like about yourself every day. Some days ... (read in full...)
My parents won't let me have a bf! Are they being too over protective?
Q. hi im 14 an my parents won't let me hav a boyfriend, i don't want one jus for the sake of it but i think they r bein a bit over protective. i've had 2 but they caught me n made me break it off. wateva im doin im always wary of wat they think i no ...
A. 14 January 2007: I totally agree with one of the above people who said trust is earned. I think the reason your parents won't let you have a boyfriend is because they're worried about your maturity and welfare. The best way to get round this is to sit down and talk ... (read in full...)
My current bf is taking this too fast, but past pain with my ex bf, still haunts me!
Q. hi, about 6 months ago,my heart was broken in a terrible manner by my ex - kayode but now i'm dating someone else, femi.i went to the same pre-college with him and i knew he had a crush on me back then (8yrs ago) but nothing happened.after a while,...
A. 14 January 2007: The only thing you can really do is ask him to slow down while you get your head together. Maybe he won't understand and maybe he will. It seems like perhaps you jumped into another relationship too soon after finishing with your ex. Just tell your ... (read in full...)
How do you know when you like someone? What do you feel?
Q. Hey, This might sound like a stupid question but, how do you know when you like someone? What do you feel?, I just don't know if I like someone or not thanks x...
A. 14 January 2007: To be honest it's hard to describe, you just know. You have butterflies in your tummy, your legs feel all wobbly when you're around them. You're super aware of yourself if that makes any sense. Everything you say you reflect on, everything you do ... (read in full...)
I want to help her but i feel she is trying to permanently break us up!
Q. My girlfriend was pregnant with another guy's baby, way before i met her, but seeing as i loved her i was fine with that, we have been going out for 3 weeks yesterday when she told me she was worried about the baby and wanted a few days break from ...
A. 14 January 2007: Give her time. Remember her hormones are all over the place right now. Leave her a message telling her you're here if she needs to talk and to call you if she needs anything. Then the ball is in her court. Hope this helps.
CD... (read in full...)
Since we started having sex together--he stopped saying he loved me? Any thoughts?
Q. I'd like to hear what some guys think. My bf and I have been together about 2 years now. we never said i love you all the time the way some couples do, but usually when one of us said it, the other would say it back. Maybe not every time (it ...
A. 14 January 2007: I know you asked for guys advice but can I just say a few things that occurred to me? Firstly I don't think he's stopped loving you, just that he's letting his actions speak to you rather than his words. I think you're feeling insecure about sex, ... (read in full...)
Am I bad person for basically doing the "friends with benefits thing?"
Q. Hi, I'm a junior in high school and I have a hard-hitting crush on a guy. We both work together, and we hit it off. One day, I was having a really bad day, I had a panic attack during a AP U.S. History test. He knew I liked him, and he decided to ...
A. 14 January 2007: I'm going to try and give you advice here even though I'm not 100% sure I understand the situation. If you think I've got the wrong end of the stick please message me and I'll have another shot at giving you advice.
As far as I can see by friends ... (read in full...)
My guy left me for someone else then came back. How should I deal with the ex that won't leave him alone?
Q. Hi guys has been a while since i last wrote quick update husband left me for another women, then he came back and decided he was going to go again. i told him he had to make a final decision and that whoever he chose he would be able to have no ...
A. 14 January 2007: I think you ask him to make sure that she knows he's no longer interested and that he loves you. If he's really annoyed by her texts I'm sure he'll be willing to change his phone number if that means having a fresh start. If he's not willing ask ... (read in full...)
He's still supporting his ex financially---is he still in love with her, then?
Q. my boyfriend is still supporting his ex financially like paying the electric bills and the boarding house, i may ask, is my boyfriend still in love with his ex? I confronted him with this but his telling me that he just wanted to help her, this made ...
A. 14 January 2007: I don't think he loves her at all. If he did he'd still be with her. I think he just feels responsible for her. Maybe she's having money problems or he knows she needs some extra support at the moment. If I were you I'd be proud to be going out with ... (read in full...)
After we have sex...he finishes up with masturbation and porn. I hate that..what can I do?
Q. Sorry for the long story.. Im going through a tough issue. I love my bf dearly he's good to me in every way possible. We have plans to live together by summer 07' We've been together for 4 yrs now. I discovered that when ever we hav...
A. 14 January 2007: Hey, I think most guys regardless of whether theyre in a relationship or not, masturbate and look at porn. I know it's hard to come to terms with but it's just what the majority do and it's no reflection on you. Porn and masturbation give him the ... (read in full...)
I like him but so does my best friend...do I go for it and let him know how I feel?
Q. totally confused me and this boy are really close and ive started to really like him but my best mate really likes him aswell shes liked him for ages and went out with him for three days and shes been infatuated ever since but he doesnt like her. he ...
A. 14 January 2007: In your situation I would take my friend out for a night and ask her if she'd be really upset if I were to get together with him. If she said yes and that it would affect our friendship I wouldn't pursue it because friends will always last longer ... (read in full...)
He told me we could have a baby but he avoids having sex with me! What's up with him?
Q. Ive been with my fiance 7 years. When i was 19 i had an abortion as he said it wasnt the right time. 6 years on the time is right. We talked and he said he was ready. We started trying but i feel dirty having to ask for sex. I cant even get him to ...
A. 14 January 2007: I think there are three options here.
1 He's changed his mind (but he says he hasn't so...)
2 He's scared about having a baby (give him time to think)
3 He doesn't want sex to become a chore- sometimes when couples are trying for a baby sex b... (read in full...)
How do I find out if he fancies me, without asking him?
Q. hey i have a crush on this boy who i have nown scince i was 4. all mi friends say that he fancies me but im not sure! how can i find this out with out asking him?...
A. 14 January 2007: I don't understand why you can't ask him? What's the worst thing that could happen? I'm sure if you compare it to the best you'll see you owe it to yourself to ask him!! Hope this helps.
CD... (read in full...)
After 2 years of dating, he said everything between us was a big joke and that I was a whore! I deeply hurt and I can't trust other boys now! Any advice?
Q. hi, ive bin goin out with a boy for 2 years and we were really serious, he always made me happy and feel special. but last month he insulted me and sed everything between us was a joke, he was jus playing about with me, cos it made him feel good ...
A. 14 January 2007: I'm not surprised you're finding it hard to trust people after that! What a horrible person! You will trust guys again but it's going to take time and wise choices with the next guy you trust. Take some time out and spend time with people who make ... (read in full...)
How can I make the first move without it being really obvious?
Q. How can i make the first move with out it being to obviouse?...
A. 14 January 2007: When I was your age I'd arrange to go out with a guy in a group and at the end of the evening ask him if he fancied doing it just the two of us next time. Hope this helps.
CD... (read in full...)
She's a bit wilder than me-I have traditional relationship values. Is it wrong of me to expect more from her?
Q. Im a 20 yr old guy and im in a relationships.i give my GF(also 20) a lot of advice/"maybe nagging" about things that i don't like...This sounds a weird Q to ask but am i acting like a 'nagging old loser'? for example when my GF went out for her...
A. 14 January 2007: I think you see what you're doing as advice and she sees it as you trying to control her. There's nothing wrong with finding certain things wrong with your girlfriend but it is wrong to try and change her. I think she will settle down in time and ... (read in full...)
She has cheated with this guy and yet-I don't want to give up on her! Advice please?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been goin out for 8 months, for the last 3 months its been pretty bad. In November i learnt that she had been cheating on me with my best friend! She said it was because i had been keeping her at arms length. Anyway we both ...
A. 14 January 2007: You haven't said what your girlfriend wants. I think it's absolutely fantastic that you still want to be with her, despite how much she's hurt you but I think you need to know that if she doesn't want to stay in the relationship you have to let her ... (read in full...)
Why didn't he get an erection when he kissed me? Don't all guys do this?
Q. hi i was hugging my new bf for the first time today and then we kissed (just a normal kiss but for quite a long time. anyway i heard ages ago that normally when boys are hugging and kissing their gf's they get an erection. well why do you think ...
A. 13 January 2007: It's okay! Some guys are able to control themselves and don't get an erection just through kissing and hugging. It really depends on the guy. As for how you know you can usually tell because when your groins are pressing together it feels hard. Or ... (read in full...)
I was snuggling and kissing this guy I like-the next day I had a red rash on my face! What is it?
Q. hi this boy asked me out yesterday and i said yes. after school we were hugging for about an hour outside the school (it was quite cold). then we kissed (just a normal kiss). then today when i woke up i have really red cheaks and they feel quite ...
A. 13 January 2007: It could be two things that I can think of. The first is if he had some stubble it could have irritated your face when you kissed. I used to go out with a really stubbly guy and my face would be bright red after seeing him. The other thing is you ... (read in full...)
Could my wife's cheating be caused by her menopause?? Should I believe this?
Q. On 6th December 2006 i submitted a question as a result of having caught my wife on 4th July 2006 kissing and cuddling with another man. This had been going on for 18 months,after 28 years of marriage. Meetings were limited to 15 to 30 minutes a ...
A. 13 January 2007: As someone who's only really watched her mother go through the menopause maybe I'm not qualified to advise you but I want to give it a shot. Like you I've heard about this happening in menopausal women and it's great that your wife has agreed to see ... (read in full...)
I haven't dated him since the 3rd grade-does he wants me back and should I give him another try?
Q. ok it happened in 3rd grade i was datin a guy named anthony and me n him were the best of friends when we were dating we dated for a day then he broke up with me n then the next day at school he asked me back out n sinced i liked him i said yes n ...
A. 13 January 2007: It's definitely true that he will have grown up a lot since the third grade, as have you, but he's still young and ultimately no relationship comes without the risk of getting hurt. If you really want to get back with him you need to deal with the ... (read in full...)
"Monster' in law problems! I need help..any advice?
Q. my soon to be mother in law has cause many problems for me in the past and always tries to savitage any events we plan. and on sevral occations made up accusions but me in the attempt that i would look bad. she doesnt even want to get to know me ...
A. 13 January 2007: Ultimately it's his mother and I think you need to respect his decision about how to proceed with his mother. I agree with you that it's sad that it has come to this and that she should know that you're married. Maybe ask your son if you could send ... (read in full...)
Mysterious calls have shown up on her phone--should I be worried?
Q. I was over at my girlfriend's house the other day and picked up her cellphone bill to look at it ... to see how much she was accruing in charges (being nosey). With that, I noticed that she was calling some numbers at 3-4am in the morning. Th...
A. 13 January 2007: I think that if you ask your girlfriend about this then she'll feel you've betrayed her trust, and in some way she'd be right to feel that. However it seems you do need answers so why not tell her after one of your late night phone calls that you'd ... (read in full...)
If she and I aren't 'technically' dating-can I temporarily date other females?
Q. ok theres this girl i grew up with like my whole life then i moved i love this girl and she loves me but she says long distance relationships arent good she says that we'll get together when i move back there wich is in about 2 years {college} in ...
A. 13 January 2007: It's hard to tell from what you've said just how much she values your relationship. I think that expecting a young guy such as yourself to be single for two years is asking a lot but perhaps she doesn't realise that. I wouldn't go actively looking ... (read in full...)
He called it off and said it wasn't me-he had other issues. Should I accept his answer at face value?
Q. Argh!!! I havent a clue how things got too big so soon! I went out for a drink with a few mates from work. There was this lad amongst them, I had noticed him as he works on the same floor. I am rather loud and out going especially if I am off bal...
A. 13 January 2007: It really is his problem if he's backing out, honestly.
I think what you texted him was really great, telling him that if he wants to keep chatting you're still there. It shows you're still interested so that if his problems sort themselv... (read in full...)
We like each other but I think he's way too good for me! Should I go out with him?
Q. right thear is this boy who i like and he likes me but he is way 2 good 4 me and my best m8 likes him and has been out wiv him lotz she says shes ok with it but i no wen it comes to it she wont be wot do i do can eney 1 help ?????????...
A. 13 January 2007: Don't ever say anyone is too good for you! Once you start to lose self confidence it's a slippery slope and you'll end up with none. Trust me, it's happened to me. You say he likes you, therefore he sees you as good enough. I understand your ... (read in full...)
We like each other a lot--nothing is happening though! What can I do?
Q. I'm in love with this boy...I have been for 3 years and I can't take it anymore...I know he likes me too and we are always flirting...but I don't know what to do cause he knows I like him and I know he likes me but nothing serious has ever ...
A. 13 January 2007: I think what you're doing is waiting on him to make the first move. Why not make it yourself? I know it's hard and I know it goes against everything we've been led to believe in since we were little girls but the world is changing and it's totally ... (read in full...)
My parents found out I am having sex-now they won't speak to me! What should I do?
Q. My mom and dad found out about me havin sex, now they are not talkin to me, when i try to, they ignore me..i just cant cope with it no more, i thought that they wud understand..but i guess not=(.. help me plz!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx...
A. 13 January 2007: I think your parents are just shocked by your actions. Although you're young to be having sex plenty of people do at your age. I would approach them and show them that you're being mature (taking contraceptives, using condoms etc) If you're not ... (read in full...)
She has a bf and I really like her...what should I do?
Q. I really like this girl but she has a boyfriend she has been texting me for ages and i think she likes me but has never said anything i have said i like her and she has told me that is really sweet and cute. I really want this girl and i know its ...
A. 13 January 2007: She knows that you like her and she still hasn't broken up with her boyfriend. That makes me think she doesn't feel the same way.... yet. Be her friend. Be there for her whenever she needs someone and maybe she'll see you in a different light. Hope ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 - why hasn't anyone wanted to be my boyfriend yet?
Q. i am 16 yrs old and i haven't had any boyfriend so far neither have i been asked out or to be someone's gf.i have been only asked once to go out with a guy by his friends but i think they werepulling a trick on me/him. and i know i am beautiful many ...
A. 13 January 2007: Why don't you ask the guy you like out? Be a modern woman! The problem with most guys is that they're scared of rejection, and this is only made worse by beautiful girls who are seemingly untouchable. Really though there's no reason why guys should ... (read in full...)
I have no idae of what excites me in a job what I would be good at. Any good advice?
Q. i lost myself in this world! i had the best year of travel. i returned home wanting to start a fresh. i told myself i wasnt going to go back to working in factory's, that i would get a better job. something to excite me, but also lets me live. m...
A. 13 January 2007: You're obviously a big expert on travel now after spending a year doing it. Why not look for jobs in travel agencies? Most travel advisors have to have travelled to two continents outside their own and it can be a great career.... plus you get 60% ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on a guy who has a pregnant gf! Any thoughts?
Q. See, I'm kinda crushing on this guy. But I know he has a girlfriend and she's pregnant with his baby. And his girlfriend doesn't go to our school. Whenever he gets a chance he stares at me and whenever we pass each other in the hall, he looks a...
A. 13 January 2007: I think he does like but to be honest I don't think it'd be right to do anything about it. She's in a very vulnerable position at the moment and she needs her boyfriend with her. It'd be wrong to pursue him right now however right it feels. Sorry to ... (read in full...)
Can anyone share experiences of moving abroad?
Q. I am thinking of moving to Dubai, there are a couple of people I already know out there but obviously I am very nervous about it as I have many friends and family in the UK. Has anyone else moved abroad, if so what are your experiences? I ...
A. 13 January 2007: I spent last year living in Spain as part of my degree. Although in some ways it was a fantastic experience that I learnt a lot from, I did find certain aspects of it hard to deal with. I'd recommend doing what the other person says and taking an ... (read in full...)
Not ready to settle down, yet..do I break up with my bf?
Q. I have been dating the same guy for 3 years and feel like he really could be "the one" for me. However, i am still young and i do not want to start living the rest of my life with him just yet. Should i break up with him? I feel like if i do then i ...
A. 13 January 2007: Is he pressuring you to make an everlasting commitment? ie has he proposed or something? If he hasn't he's not in any rush to make it forever either so I see no reason why you can't keep bumbling on. If you're really worried about it talk to him and ... (read in full...)
Was told she was 19 but she's really 17 and I'm feeling badly for being atttracted to her! Stop contact or just be friends with her?
Q. Hi, got a bit of an issue on my hands. I'm a 23 year old college guy. My uncle introduced me to a girl at a family party (no, hah, she's not related) and we hit it off pretty well. I specifically asked my uncle how old she was and he told me she w...
A. 13 January 2007: Right now 6 years seems like the biggest age gap in the world but it won't once she turns 18 and you stop seeing her as not legal. The fact is- has this revelation changed the way you feel about her? If the answer is no continue the relationship but ... (read in full...)
If we can't agree on a religion, where do we stand? How will it affect us, down the road?
Q. Hi Everyone, if 2 people are in love with each other but yet cant agree into one religion. where do we stand?...
A. 13 January 2007: Religion is obviously a big part of both your lives if you are asking your partner to give up his religion or are upset about him asking you to give up yours. I strongly believe that you can both be together and believe in different values and/or ... (read in full...)
I'm not ready for motherhood! Should I have an abortion or keep this baby?
Q. Hey there! I am about less than 2 months pregnant. I am devastated. I'm only 17 and this was obviously very unplanned. I wish I could turn back time and change the fact that I had unprotected sex. I'm stuck in the middle wondering if I should have ...
A. 12 January 2007: It's great that you're thinking so hard about this. The truth is that nobody here can tell you if you'll regret aborting your baby or not. You don't sound sure about keeping the baby or the abortion. When you're referred for an abortion by your ... (read in full...)
We are both shy so how can I get him to kiss me?
Q. I really like this guy and i think he likes me back i having my 18th bday party soon any ideas on how i can either kiss him or have him kiss me as we both shy and he doesnt drink also. we cant play spin the bottle as almost everyone else is in a ...
A. 12 January 2007: I had the exact same problem with a guy I was seeing before Christmas. He was shy and I was unsure about making the first move because he kept blowing hot and cold and I was never convinced he liked me. The way I got round it was when we were saying ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to go to the next level...because of my bikini line! Any product suggestions?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 4 months and want to take our reltionship to the "next level". I am definatly ready but I am really worried about my bikini line. I have tried using hair removing cream in the past but it just made my skin go ...
A. 12 January 2007: It sounds like you have sensitive skin which means that all products could potentially be irritating to your skin. I think the best thing you could probably do is buy some sensitive skin shaving cream and moisturiser (i recommend nivea dry skin ... (read in full...)
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