After 11 years my partner has still not divorced his wife!
Q. I have been with my partner for 11 years, we have 2 children together. When i first meet my partner he had not long left his wife. Within a year i was pregant and he left me, we later go back together and have since had another planed child and ...
A. 17 October 2010: Sorry to be a wet blanket, but how soon is soon, you may need to clarify this with him soon, you might see soon as within the next 30 days, he might seen soon as being anytime within the next 30 months. If you see no action soon (like maybe within ... (read in full...)
He wants to live with me, put a front on that we're together in front of family, friends ets, still do business together but be 'separated.
Q. I have been with my fiance for almost 7 years. He cheated a few yrs ago when we were on again/off again and we both moved on together...or so I thought. In the meantime I started my own business, my mother became terminally ill and my fiance and I ...
A. 13 October 2010: We always have choices, you don't need to make big choices if you find them too confronting, you can make a series of little choices .... first little choice would be, do I pick up the phone and make an appointment to see a lawyer or don't I.... (read in full...)
He wants to live with me, put a front on that we're together in front of family, friends ets, still do business together but be 'separated.
Q. I have been with my fiance for almost 7 years. He cheated a few yrs ago when we were on again/off again and we both moved on together...or so I thought. In the meantime I started my own business, my mother became terminally ill and my fiance and I ...
A. 13 October 2010: Seems to me this arrangement is all about him. Ask him what's in it for you.
... (read in full...)
How do I connect with her son when he doesn't talk?
Q. Hi, I've been with my girlfriend for a few months now but I've always found it difficult connecting with her son. He doesn't talk yet so I struggle with knowing what to say to him. I just need some tips and advice on what to say, and how to say them ...
A. 12 October 2010: PS I should add that you make him feel safe!... (read in full...)
Do you have to ask to buy laxatives?
Q. Do you have to buy laxatives over the counter? I want some for my bowel trouble but its quite an embarressing thing to ask for. Do they ask you any questions and do you just ask for sumply 'laxatives' coz i know theres lots of different types. ...
A. 11 October 2010: Be careful with laxatives --- they are available over the counter but talk to a nurse or doctor before you start taking them on a too regular basis at your age. Simple and more natural ways to get things moving include liquorish, drinking more ... (read in full...)
Do you always need to compromise on the things you want in a relationship?
Q. Hi there. I broke up with my boyfriend (of 3 years) about a month ago because he was downloading porn. He refused to meet me half way on the subject and didn't care about how i felt on the topic. To be clear, the issue is not him downloading porn...
A. 11 October 2010: While people in a relationship dont always have to agree with each other, they do need to recognise the other's point of view as being as equally valid as their own.
I know a couple who have been married for over 50 years (I think 53), politica... (read in full...)
How do I connect with her son when he doesn't talk?
Q. Hi, I've been with my girlfriend for a few months now but I've always found it difficult connecting with her son. He doesn't talk yet so I struggle with knowing what to say to him. I just need some tips and advice on what to say, and how to say them ...
A. 11 October 2010: If he doesnt talk you sit on the floor and play blocks with him, you read him a story you talk him for walks, you sing nursery rhymes and you lift him up and point at the moon with him, and then you read another book together, sing some more nursery ... (read in full...)
In the middle between two guys with an issue
Q. I have two best friends, Jacob and Sam, they know each other and are very close. Sam developed feelings for me and we are seeing each other. i went over to a friends house a few days ago and Jacob was there. He started doing things like laying on ...
A. 11 October 2010: ewww and yech. Jacob sounds slimy to me, and is Sam is flirting elsewhere I wouldn't be too sure about him either.
... (read in full...)
My older lover dumped me!
Q. I'm 28 and i lost my 40 year old girlfriend. She dumped me for several solid reasons after a year and 2 months. She said she loves me i couldn't say it back. I wasn't sure if i loved her if i was afraid to be alone. She wanted me to move in with ...
A. 11 October 2010: What do you want? Do you want to have this woman in your life for the rest of your life?
Do you want to be in a relationship with her all through medical school, where you might meet women closer to your own age and with the same interests?
When ... (read in full...)
Guy is mad at me giving me the silent treatment, what do I do?
Q. this guy who I like and likes me is mad at me because we were talking Saturday night online about things going on with me. I was telling him how I can't trust these people who I only know from online who play a lot of games with me. I was telling ...
A. 11 October 2010: Toddler tantrum. You have apologised, although why you should is beyond me, just leave him to get on with his tantrum throwing while you concentrate on doing well at your new job. Don't let him sabotage it for you!... (read in full...)
After 11 years my partner has still not divorced his wife!
Q. I have been with my partner for 11 years, we have 2 children together. When i first meet my partner he had not long left his wife. Within a year i was pregant and he left me, we later go back together and have since had another planed child and ...
A. 11 October 2010: Sit him down, look him in the eye and ask him if he intends divorcing his wife and what arrangements he has made to care for you and the children if something should happen to him.
If you are not happy with his answer start planning for a future w... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a stepfather to fall in love with his stepdaughter??
Q. I am 48 and my stepdaughter is 44 is it wrong for us to fall in love with each other ...
A. 11 October 2010: If your wife has passed away I don't see a problem with you and her daughter getting together.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a stepfather to fall in love with his stepdaughter??
Q. I am 48 and my stepdaughter is 44 is it wrong for us to fall in love with each other ...
A. 11 October 2010: I'll bet mum would say YES!
But your question lacks all the little details like are you still married to her mother, does her mother still consider herself your wife, what motivated the daughter to even "go there" have you and your step daughter... (read in full...)
Do men regret leaving their pregnant partners?
Q. i dated my ex for 2 years, when i found out i was pregnant and told him on valentines day, he dumped me. he treated me like crap my whole pregnancy, he never called or emailed me and whenever i contacted him (i sent ultrasounds and updates, i was ...
A. 11 October 2010: he certainly doesnt seem to be the sort of person who would have regrets. Does he have rights? If I were you I would find out from a reliable source just what those rights are, I would also check the same source to find out just what your rights ... (read in full...)
He said he's seen the light!
Q. My husband and I have been married for almost twenty years. We have three children - two girls, 19 and 17 and one boy, 14. When our oldest daughter was 15 I found out that my husband had started talking to an old grilfriend from high school (who had ...
A. 10 October 2010: I would turn the lights off for him, right after I changed the locks!
... (read in full...)
I need help with this... What do you class as cheating?
Q. Hiya all... Well im a 20 year old girl and i think i am bi-sexual, i have never done anything with a female but really want to. The only thing is i have a boyfriend. I have explained to him about everything and he says he doesnt class me being...
A. 10 October 2010: It would be cheating. If it were him you would class it as cheating, so be honest here, if it is you it is still classed as cheating.... (read in full...)
He wants to take my virginity... and I'm scared I'll lose him if I say no.
Q. Am a 14 year old girl with a 17 year old boyfriend who wants 2 have 6 kids with me in the future. the thing is now he wants 2 break my virginity. I am still a virgin and am not ready. I dont wanna loose it. He's the best boyfriend ive ever had ...
A. 10 October 2010: He is NOT the best boyfriend because he is unfairly pressuring ou to do something you don't want to do.
Tell him NO. Six kids in the future, yeah right, when he is capable of providing for those six kids THEN he can take your virginity and not ... (read in full...)
I want more action from my FWB
Q. how in the world do you make a fwb want more sex? its frustrating because we do it every few months. thats not fun. any pointers?...
A. 10 October 2010: You are a FWB, thats a "friend" to have sex with, nothing else, no emotional involvment, nothing, just sex, when he wants it.
Why be a convienient hole just waiting for somebody to need? Don't you want to be more than that to a person?
Where a... (read in full...)
While separated, wife had sex with 5 other guys and I can't deal with it!
Q. I have been married for 15 years and last year me and my wife were separated all of last year....We have since gotten back together however while we were separated she has had sex with 5 guys...I know because she keeps everything in her ...
A. 10 October 2010: You left her because you were bored. What sort of subliminal message do you think that was sending? I just want to grab you and shake the sheet out of you!! When you left because you were bored you were telling her she wasnt woman enough for you, ... (read in full...)
Rift with partner due to her coworker
Q. Hi everyone. I've been with my partner for ten years now. We don't have any children, and we have had our differences. However, by and large everything is good. Trouble is that she work with a male coworker who has always had a crush on her. I...
A. 10 October 2010: Who intitiates the out of work hours contacts? Him or her? If its your partner you need to be honest with her and let her know how you feel.
Even if she has some health issues she still needs to recognise your feelings, ask her to acknowle... (read in full...)
While separated, wife had sex with 5 other guys and I can't deal with it!
Q. I have been married for 15 years and last year me and my wife were separated all of last year....We have since gotten back together however while we were separated she has had sex with 5 guys...I know because she keeps everything in her ...
A. 10 October 2010: I need a little more information before I can answer. You say you were moving on with your life, does that mean you were going out on dates, making plans for your future etc etc.
Who initiated the separation, and why?
Did you wife work while yo... (read in full...)
Should I try smoking?
Q. smoking should i try it or not? cause i want to. hi, this question isnt about relationship, i already posted one aobut that, anyway, i want to try somking but im only 14 some its not like i can go out and buy them or say to my parents " i want...
A. 10 October 2010: NO! No no no no no bloody NO!
It stinks, its addictive, its expensive, it damages your health.
I beleive its more addictive than alcohol.
I attempted giving up so many times, havent had a cigarette since 2002 and guess what, I still get the crav... (read in full...)
(User's title) To stay or not to stay
Q. Please help very confused. I married a man that I got along very well with 2 years ago. He married me with a child ( boy) who was 6 when we first started dating. As the few years went by I noticed the relationship between my son and husband started ...
A. 10 October 2010: here is a novel idea, why not be with neither of them while you decide which one you want.
Find somewhere to live, sign on for Centrelink's parenting payment and give your son and yourself some breathing space.
Consider how disrupting going... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is jealous of my kids!
Q. Hope someone can give me some advice.. my new girlfriend is, i feel, a little jealous of my kids. We've been together 9 months and i really think a lot of her. She says she loves me. Recently the idea of moving in together has been discussed b...
A. 10 October 2010: Well, you wanna know something, if you DID feel the same love for your girlfriend that you do your daughter I would be very, very worried.
Just keep reassuring her the love you feel for your children is more like the love she feels for her mum,... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is jealous of my kids!
Q. Hope someone can give me some advice.. my new girlfriend is, i feel, a little jealous of my kids. We've been together 9 months and i really think a lot of her. She says she loves me. Recently the idea of moving in together has been discussed b...
A. 10 October 2010: Woops, sorry for all the grammatical mistakes below.... (read in full...)
B/f wants a break until I prove myself?
Q. god i dunno , im with my boyfriend nearly a year and it was possibly the best thing i ever done . it really was like he's my bestfriend , he was there through everything and equally in turn , i love his friends, social life and family . i love him ...
A. 10 October 2010: I agree, you need to ask him what proof he needs you to provide, without knowing the goal how can you achieve it?
... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is jealous of my kids!
Q. Hope someone can give me some advice.. my new girlfriend is, i feel, a little jealous of my kids. We've been together 9 months and i really think a lot of her. She says she loves me. Recently the idea of moving in together has been discussed b...
A. 10 October 2010: When I started reading your question I was expecting something completely different, another "rotten bitch" story.
But she sounds like she is trying, she sounds intelligent (unlike the "rotten bitches" who took my kid's father for a ride lol). ... (read in full...)
Is my Mom wrong for going behind my back with my kids.
Q. Hello all. I wanted to ask this question and hope for many replys so I can show my mom bias views. My mom has underminded me several times when it comes to my children. I have always saw her as my bestest friend ever. I am always honest with her. ...
A. 9 October 2010: You need some serious (professional) help to deal with all those issues, are you able to get some counselling or therapy happening, maybe even some family therapy. I feel there are a number of issues here that need to be dealt with and a counsellor ... (read in full...)
I haven't told my mother I'm pregnant but I can't keep it a secret forever!
Q. heya guys and gals im back agai with another problem for u im pregnent and im a teenager so its a teenage pregentcy my bf`s mom is so happy but i havent told my mom in this case she might be happy for me but then i am going to leave collage ...
A. 9 October 2010: Oh dear, I've been there ..... you just have to be tough and tell her, and the sooner the better, she has probably guessed something is up anyway.
Good luck with it, I hope you can work some way out to have the baby and continue with college ... (read in full...)
How to create a fear of loss in your ex/ does it backfire?
Q. I've read the ebook of Matt Hudson "Get him back forever". He writes how to get your ex back by making them jealous via facebook (pictures out partying with friends,writing with other guys, having "massive fun") I know they should think that ...
A. 9 October 2010: I've never heard of Matt Hudson or his book, I might google them later ..... however, why expend all that energy trying to get any sort of emotion out of an ex, they are your ex for a reason, instead of wasting time and energy trying to create a ... (read in full...)
We're supposed to be going to counseling together, but he hasn't went yet!
Q. help!! ive been with my boyfriend now for 3 years. we have 3 kids together an have been threw alot!! there has been more downs then up an im currently doing counselling to help me change into a better person. the problem is he is ment to be doing it ...
A. 9 October 2010: You have already made a huge step towards changing your life for the better by recognising you need some help to do it!
Keep on with the conselling, even if your boyfriend isn't committed to those changes.
Your kids deserve the changes, and... (read in full...)
Partner lied about marital status and now I'm pregnant with his child
Q. I have been with my "fiance" for over a year now. When we met he informed me of his situation, that he was divorced with 3 children and that he wanted to be with me, marry me etc. Fast forward to now, I am now pregnant with his child and long s...
A. 9 October 2010: Yes, dump him immediately and seek legal advise, you may be able to get him on false pretences, breach of promise, as well as some sort of spousal maintenance, and once the baby is born maintenance of course.
As for his still lying to your fac... (read in full...)
I am close to getting married but feel I might be making a BIG mistake
Q. I thought things were settling down after a recent spate of arguments between us. Here is a bit of background: I've always had a problem with my time management. I try to get around this by just forcing myself to set my watch faster etc. This...
A. 9 October 2010: If you can fix the time management problem as you say, then why dont you?
By constantly being later than promised (you use the word promise) or held up by mates you are actually sending a message that your mates are more important than she is.... (read in full...)
Are her actions and remarks sarcastic?
Q. i have been close friends with a beautiful woman 29 yrs old for 2 years now. i let it slip because of a situation that came up, that i have been in love with her. all was fine till that moment. she said she felt very awkward and i think she is ...
A. 9 October 2010: If you asked her to have dinner with you for your birthday you cannot complain that she did not pick up the check or pay for anything.
If she asked you out to dinner for your birthday she should have paid.
I feel this is an important point ... (read in full...)
Are her actions and remarks sarcastic?
Q. i have been close friends with a beautiful woman 29 yrs old for 2 years now. i let it slip because of a situation that came up, that i have been in love with her. all was fine till that moment. she said she felt very awkward and i think she is ...
A. 9 October 2010: I need a little more information, had you asked or suggested the birthday dinner or her? I feel this is an important point.... (read in full...)
Should I confess to my friend that I love her?
Q. I am a married man of 8 years. The marriage has been OK but not great. Two years ago I started a new job. I met new people in this job and have established some wonderful friendships. One of the people I have met and built a friendship with ...
A. 9 October 2010: What would telling her achieve if you have no intentions of doing anything about it?
I think its time to tell your self the truth, unless you already have and were hoping for some validation from the aunts here.
... (read in full...)
My friend is after my ex, do I confront him about it?
Q. Ok so my girlfriend and i have been broken up for about 5-6 months now but i still care for her very much. To be honest shes the first thing i think about after i wake up and last thing before i go to sleep. Ive tried to improve my self in every ...
A. 9 October 2010: Let me make sure I have all the relevant information:
The girl is your ex.
She has a new boyfriend who is a well known aquaintance of yours.
A buddy of yours is planning to "swoop in", to use your words, on her.
When this buddy bro... (read in full...)
Seriously???
Q. I have been married to my wonderful wife for 10 years, been together 12. We have two kids, and are each other best friends. She is 6 years my senior (not that that matters, really- just sayin'...) Before we met, she worked with a guy 15 years older ...
A. 8 October 2010: Seriously?????
I have a question for you ....
Is the extra money so important that you can have this "schmuck" in your marriage?
... (read in full...)
Divorced, but can't sell house or move on with my life
Q. I have a dilemma that is not truly a relationship issue, but kinda. I am recently divorced, and am with a new partner who is great and we intend to marry late next year. The only remaining issue with my former marriage is my marital house is on ...
A. 8 October 2010: You need to sit down with your ex wife, preferably somewhere neutral (not the marital home) and be honest with her.
I can understand she would prefer you to not live there with a new wife, so many emotions would be tied up in that!
Where w... (read in full...)
I don't want to be second best
Q. Hi Folks, I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now and I love him completely- we are very happy. Despite this- I find I am becoming increasingly obsessed with his ex wife, the fact that he has been married before me and nothing is 'new'...
A. 5 October 2010: What a lovely man to not bag his ex wife, how lucky are you to have a man who is not bitter as a result of a divorce.
You can't undo his past, his past is what led him to where he is today, with you!
I am sorry you feel second best, I doubt he... (read in full...)
Being asked for support for a child whose mother I don't remember
Q. guys i need help, i dont know what to do :( you see i have this relationship with this girl.we were on for a month..i was just 18 that time..when our "relationship" ended she left. she went back to her province..the thing is,we had sex before she ...
A. 5 October 2010: The Phillipines is very different to Australia so it will be difficult to give helpful suggestions. Do you have paternity tests there? Can you organise them through the courts?
It does sound as though you remember the girl, you say she would co... (read in full...)
Husband after marriage asked about my past and then served me with divorce papers!
Q. My husband and I are married for 10 months. Right after we got married he strictly asked me if there was anything about my past I wanted to share. So I believe in you marry your best friend and I told him somethings that I had done that I'm not so ...
A. 5 October 2010: I was going to say "what an ass" but I am aware differnt meanings of the word here and in US, so I will say, what a donkey!
It's easy to see your heart is breaking over this, he certainly has chosen his path, I am sure you will find yours, j... (read in full...)
Do women tell their friends EVERYTHING about their boyfriends???
Q. Ok, to all women, do you talk to your best friends and tell them everything about your bf. i mean everything, like dirty details?...
A. 5 October 2010: Nope, never have, never will, but some people do.
... (read in full...)
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