A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 28 and i lost my 40 year old girlfriend. She dumped me for several solid reasons after a year and 2 months. She said she loves me i couldn't say it back. I wasn't sure if i loved her if i was afraid to be alone. She wanted me to move in with her, but i couldn't. i was uncomfortable in her place and i live with roommates. She said she eventually wanted to get married again , she was divorced 10 years ago, and i told her i wanted to go to medical school and had no plans to get married any time soon.She told me she wanted someone she could feel safe with. she felt i was unhappy and was just settling for the time being. I brought her flowers and apologized told her that i do love her. I'm just not the kind of guy to throw it around all the time. she cried and said she was confused and needed time. i haven't talked to her in 2 weeks and she wont return my text or calls.I do love her and i want her to forgive me. I dont want to start showing up at her job or at her place but she is just so emotional. she had no problems telling me she loved me all the time before. I feel if i can just get her to talk to me face to face she would forgive me.What should i do?
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female
reader, anita1  +, writes (13 October 2010):
well you know what at 40yrs thats what i am a lady knows what she wants , and not being nasty we aint got time on our side to wait for you young men to feel comtable in you own skins , bueaty fades fast we to get insecure i have just ended my relationship of 7 yrs and he was the same age as you,, but thats a different story, if you love her then become a man. if not stick with women younger that want the same as you,,,till your ready to commit
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (11 October 2010):
 What do you want? Do you want to have this woman in your life for the rest of your life?
Do you want to be in a relationship with her all through medical school, where you might meet women closer to your own age and with the same interests?
When did you decide you loved her?
Do you love her enough to take her home and introduce her to your family and friends as the person you are intending to spend the rest of your life with?
Be honest with yourself and then you might have a chance of being honest with her.
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A
female
reader, kih88 +, writes (11 October 2010):
 The facts of the matter, unfortunately, are that she wants a ton of things that you can't give her, and for you, she's asking you for more than you're willing to give. If you're serious about her and want to get back with her, you definitely need to talk with her and come to some compromise where you're both relatively happy. Leave her a phone message or send her a letter/card where you are telling her that you want to talk with her to discuss things, and that you want to work this out. Let her know what you're willing to do or change, and then if she sees that you're listening and trying to fulfill her needs, she will be more motivated to reach out to you again.
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