Next time we go away he wants to take his mum with us!!!
Q. my partner's 50 and been living with his mother again for the last 5 months due to financial difficulties. the whole situation is really depressing him to say the least. although his mum willingly put him up he doesn't have his own space - 'his roo...
A. 2 March 2010: You hit the nail on the head with your last few words, "the way i've been treated by her and her son"
Her son's treatment is the one you should be questioning, not the mothers. I still don't understand what the attraction is here, he lives wi... (read in full...)
Sex after birth?
Q. We recently had our first baby, (november), and we are just starting to have sex again and my partner has only been ok as long as we have anal, at first I didn't think anything as we have anal sex quite a lot but when I go to give her oral or try to ...
A. 1 March 2010: If she will agree go see her doctor together, if she was okay with sex before the birth it seems a little weird that she now isnt.
... (read in full...)
Should I ask her out or just be her best friend?
Q. I met this girl for weeks and found out she had a boy of 2 years old, but not legally married to the man, asking her if she still in love with this man, which is say No. I ask her why and reply me with 'it personal' i ask her if they had contact on ...
A. 1 March 2010: Ask her out, nothing ventured nothing gained!... (read in full...)
What should I do? give him space? wait for him to reach out?
Q. My boyfriend and I were discussing past relationships when he stopped me and started to yell at me stating that i did NOT tell him about one of the guys. I know for a fact that I did, i remember the conversation clearly but he is so set saying that ...
A. 1 March 2010: I don't understand why past relationships are up for discussion in the first place.
Give him space, lots of space, run, don't walk, you dont need petulant hissy fit throwing people like this in your life.... (read in full...)
My b/f says it's the baby or him
Q. Hi I am 14 wks pregnant and been in my relationship with my boyfriend for 8 years and we have a 5 year old son together. My boyfriend is not happy about this pregnancy and says he doesnt want anymore kids and is forcing me to choose between him and ...
A. 28 February 2010: phht, in light of his blackmail attempt to get you to abort this child of his, I doubt a court would award him custody. Do as caring guy suggests and contact citizens advice.
good luck and best wishes.... (read in full...)
I confessed I was attracted to him and now he avoids me
Q. hi i'm a 30year old lady,my closest friends r all guys i seem 2get along gr8 with almost any guy i meet,bt its always just friendships.About 4months ago a stranger was welcomed in2 our 'friend circle' and from da very 1st sec i saw him i knew i ...
A. 28 February 2010: Nothing, you cant force people to like you. Don't push it, don't force him to respond to you, you might not like his response.... (read in full...)
He's got someone else, but I'm in love with him
Q. Hi, I've been good friends with this guy, he's so sweet and charming. But the problem is, he's already committed. I know all his secrets because he told me that he "love" me, but when I confessed that I love him, he told me to just let my feeli...
A. 28 February 2010: He doesnt want you to love him, and to make it easier on yourself you should move on and let him get on with his committed relationship.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend accused me of cheating while she went off to a club with another man
Q. I was late to meet my girl. I fell asleep on the recliner, as it happens. She was convinced I was off with some other woman. No lie. I talked her down from that for over 2 hours or so of patient painstaking work, then she revealed something to ...
A. 28 February 2010: I don't know the girl, I don't know if she is the sort who would have been dancing or kissing or whatever. But if you believe she has done this to previous boyfriends just to get them begging she may well have been misbehavin'.
However, the fact... (read in full...)
Distance forming between us.
Q. If a couple's interests change and drift apart over 11 years to the point where they share very few personal goals, can they still be happy and fulfilled together? Do any of you who have been in long relationships have insight into this? I ...
A. 28 February 2010: Have you talked, or tried to talk, to your girlfriend about your feelings of drifting apart? If you want to save the relationship you can, but it will need some work and committment from both of you. A few counselling sessions wouldn't go astray ... (read in full...)
Could a phone be more important then your wife?
Q. (Mod note: Titled by poster) what does my husband want from me? why cant we watch a tv program with out him texing someone? we go to dinner and his phone is in his hand the entire time, he sleeps with it underneth his pillow, he is a 48 year old ...
A. 28 February 2010: Get your life in order, make sure you organise some money to live with, over the next few months remove those things that are special to you from the house, one at a time
and then, when you have prepared for your getaway, take that phone, put it u... (read in full...)
Never told me he had a girlfriend but now she's angry. What do I do?
Q. This guy I was talking to lived 2 hours away. I just found out he has had a girlfriend from the start. We started talking mid January and he never told me. He kept saying how I am so pretty, and amazing. And so much more. He said he wasnt talking to ...
A. 28 February 2010: If you have no other reason to beleive he has a girlfriend already, show him the text and ask him to explain.
She might be trying to make mischief or she might be telling the truth.
Go with your gut feeling.... (read in full...)
To top off a very bad day I think my relationship is over
Q. Hi guys, I've not had a good day. Yesterday I went for an interview to apply for a 3rd year at university. My day started a 7am, from there I had to pick up all my friends who had an interview that day, take my girlfriend home, catch a boat in ...
A. 28 February 2010: Not very understanding your girl is she?
I'mnot sure why it was your responsibility to get everybody else to their interviews, but you were, and it sounds like you had a hectic time.
Your apology should be sufficient for her. If she can't or ... (read in full...)
Why is he sexually abusing me? We're married, but he demands sex!
Q. My husband of many years has always acted as if I am here for his sex needs. He has also said he married me for sex. He expects I will give him sex. Not that he doesn't tell me other things to do. The best he has improved on is to tell me hours be...
A. 27 February 2010: "I have seen counsellors but they just say to leave him. This is not necessarily a universal panacea for DV. Also it strikes me as just more control coming my way".
It seems you have sought professional help, and have decided to ignore it. I c... (read in full...)
Why is he sexually abusing me? We're married, but he demands sex!
Q. My husband of many years has always acted as if I am here for his sex needs. He has also said he married me for sex. He expects I will give him sex. Not that he doesn't tell me other things to do. The best he has improved on is to tell me hours be...
A. 27 February 2010: This is not healthy, for either of you, you need to talk to somebody, you will end up resentful and hating him. Can you talk to your GP ask for a referral to a counsellor who might be able to help you work out your options.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
My adult daughter's boyfriend "gropes" her in front of me... How can I deal with this?
Q. I recently welcomed a young adult daughter back home after she started self harming because her same age boyfriend was disregarding her sexual wishes. He wanted to do some things she did not and forced these things on her. She is still his girlfr...
A. 27 February 2010: Police in Australia dont rush in gung ho with guns at the ready.
Original Poster, caring guy's answer was valid and appropriate.
It seems your adult daughter has been making some bad choices, including her choice of boyfriend. She ... (read in full...)
My adult daughter's boyfriend "gropes" her in front of me... How can I deal with this?
Q. I recently welcomed a young adult daughter back home after she started self harming because her same age boyfriend was disregarding her sexual wishes. He wanted to do some things she did not and forced these things on her. She is still his girlfr...
A. 27 February 2010: It's a form of disrespect.
I know this may sound harsh, but you say she is an adult, and she is back in your home because of actions by this same boyfriend.
When he is not there, talk to your daughter, tell her how his groping is affecting you... (read in full...)
Pregnant and scared my daughter will feel left out once the new baby comes along...
Q. I've just found out that im pregnant and i feel really guilty bout it. Im 28 and i have a 5 yr old daughter already from a previous 5 yr relationship. Ive been single for 3 yrs so its just been me and my daughter weve done so much together she such ...
A. 26 February 2010: Funny thing about love, the more people you have to share it between the more you have to share.
Your little girl will be fine, buy her a present to give her when the baby arrives, from the baby, make sure you involve her in the preparat... (read in full...)
Just found out my boyfriend is leading a double life!
Q. This year I discovered that my boyfriend has been living a double life - a secret life - with another girl in a long distance relationship. Could be more than one girl, but ONE I know about anyway. He's a compulsive time keeper and was so good ...
A. 26 February 2010: Quite simply he is an asshat.
He probably didn't even think or consider that you might have feelings, I am happy you got him out of your life, especially in light of the fact you say he never met any of your needs, never showed affection, and stru... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a seperate mobile phone just for his ex!
Q. Hi, I posted on here before and got some really helpful answers. I've been on a few dates with a guy who has been in touch with his ex since they split up last March. He says they had an argument a couple of weeks ago and haven't spoken since but ...
A. 26 February 2010: It sounds to me like he hasn't quite detached himself from his old relationship. I think you are right to be asking questions, unless you are happy to play gooseberry .....
He is still burning a candle, carrying the flame, hoping to hear from her... (read in full...)
Sould I stop talking to this married man for good?
Q. Hey, I need your help. Please don't be so mean against me when you read my story, because we all make bad choices and I never planned on being with a married man nor do,I want to break up anyone's marriage. So, here's the story. Some years bac...
A. 25 February 2010: He is playing games, he has no intention of divorcing his wife, he has no intention of any committment to you, he is not a nice man, he is an asshat, you should turn and run, dont walk as far as you can get from him.... (read in full...)
Hung out with my cousin and my boyfriend is pissed I didn't beg him to come.
Q. This may seem trivial but my boyfriend is making a massive deal about it. My cousin is here form overseas and i want to spend as much time as possible with her as i have not seen her for 6 years. i invited my boyfriend to go karting, ice ska...
A. 25 February 2010: Sounds to me your boyfriend has a little growing up to do, especially if he has made it clear he doesnt want to be near your family, and also in light of the fact you have previously invited him to join you and your cousin in several activities ... (read in full...)
Wife went down on old man just to come to the USA....
Q. I love my wife, but now I just found out that my wife sucked the d__k of a 59 year old man in order to get a VISA to come the final time to the USA, the time that she met me and married me! I knew she wasn't a virgin, but I'm caught up on two...
A. 24 February 2010: You think she might have married you for your looks? Who are you, Brad Pitt?
She went down on an old guy to get a visa, does that mean she wouldnt have got the visa if she hadn't? What of the 59 year old man that blackmailed her, who it would ap... (read in full...)
She took him back too fast! How can I help my friend?
Q. so my friend and her boyfriend recently broke up ( the guy's fault by the way) she texted him and told him that she is willin to make it work she asked him if he felt the same way he said yes. i spoke to her today and she said that he is not calling ...
A. 22 February 2010: You can't help her, we have to let people make their own mistakes, all you can do is stand by and wait.
However, if she continues to make the same mistake over and over again, and you find it tiring, you will be within your rights to walk away ...... (read in full...)
Girlfriend broke my trust; should I try and work it out or leave
Q. Ok at the start of my relationship my girlfriend cheated on me 6 months into the relationship. We broke up for about 4 months. Well we got back together on some rather strict rules, since I did not know if I could trust her she was to share all her ...
A. 22 February 2010: erk! I would be setting up secret accounts too if I had to share passwords and accounts.
This relationship is toxic for both of you, I doubt you will ever trust her, and that will simply drive her to keep things hidden from you even more.
... (read in full...)
I cant get wet , why is this happening?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been trying to have sex for the past to week. And yesterday I realized what one of the problems are I cant get wet =(. I dont know what the problem is and I dont know why this is happening. Im very interested and him. I dont ...
A. 22 February 2010: Try a lubricant, petroleum jelly or moisturiser should do the trick!
... (read in full...)
Is sex texting a form of cheating?
Q. I went through my boyfriends phone recently and found some text messages I'm not too happy about. He's been sending raunchy texts to his ex-girlfriend. It made me so sick to my stomach when I read them, and what made me even more sick is I looked at ...
A. 22 February 2010: Come clean, tell him you were looking at his texts, ask him what she means by not being able to wait for their long weekend, I would view this as cheating, if you decide you do too, and if you think its going to be a deal breaker as far as the ... (read in full...)
I was locked out of my house, and my friends are not supportive
Q. okkayy to begin i met this guy a while ago and the more time i was with him and talked to him i continued to fall for him. but throught that time we had our ups and downs with his ex's getting in the way. But I was willing to deal with that because ...
A. 20 February 2010: where were your parents, or the responsible adult, when you were locked out of home? Why didn't you try to call them to get let back in?
Why give anybody else your passwords to anything? Surely you have seen, read and heard all the warnings... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's friends love me and won't leave me alone! My friends hate me for it!
Q. I'm worried I'm loosing all my friends because of my boyfriends friends. They all fancy me and wont stop following me, I need some time with my girlfriends but thats never going to happen because they wont leave me alone - My friends dont like his ...
A. 20 February 2010: I'm sorry, I am finding it difficult to accept your question, in has conjured up a mental image of a poor defenceless little girlie being kept from her friends by a living barrier of ravenous, red eyed, drooling boys.
C'mon now, ALL your boyfrien... (read in full...)
My boyfriend assumes I am sleeping around
Q. I have been dating this man for a while. Lately he's assuming I am sleeping with another man. I am not! However he said, "it's o.k. with me, believe me!" How am I suppose to take that? Confused and Frustrated?...
A. 20 February 2010: Seems to me he is either cheating himself or considering it. I think its time you and he had a serious talk to get to the bottom of this, ask him why and what evidence he has to assume you are cheating.... (read in full...)
I told him I'd rung to break off, but he took it literally
Q. Hello, About 2 months ago, I called my boyfriend of 7 years to break up with him because I'm having feelings for my ex, I took about 1 month to think about it prior to calling and realized I needed to listen to my heart. The bf and I had a very...
A. 20 February 2010: Not a lot of your question makes much sense to me.
YOu say you had been with your boyfriend for SEVEN years, but you had feelings for an ex!! An ex from more than seven years ago?
And you wonder why your boyfriend took your call literally? ... (read in full...)
He wants to come first, over my child
Q. I am a single mom with a 4 year old son. My boyfriend has a small issue of me not putting my son to bed before 9pm, so that we could have sex. We don't live together, we live 15 minutes apart. The thing is that he sometimes gets tired at 8pm and he ...
A. 20 February 2010: I dont know how much you need to keep this man in your life but I have seen similar situations for years.
He wants to be number one. And he will continue to want to be number one as your child grows and his (your child's) need change your boyfrien... (read in full...)
I broke up with him because he was ugly, now he has somebody else and I want him back
Q. I have dated this guy about four years ago and we broke up mainly because he was to attached and never gave me space. He is a very good man and all but the one thing that turned me off was his looks he was not attractive at all. But everything else ...
A. 19 February 2010: Leave him alone, it seems to me you didnt want him, dumped him four years ago, tried to find somebody better looking, found that you couldn't and decided to go pick up where you left off. Sadly for you, you neglected to consider the fact he may ... (read in full...)
We talked for 7 months and I found out he is still with his ex. And he denied our relationship!
Q. Dear cupid, I am a young girl of 21 years old and just had my heart torn out by the guy i least suspected would do it. I have this guy friend who i have gotten really close to...we both went to the same high school and while in high school we b...
A. 19 February 2010: the best way to forget him is to get on with your life. Accept he wasnt the person you thought he was, keep your self busy, build your self a nice life and just get on with it.
Good luck
... (read in full...)
I want more opportunities to have sex without family around!
Q. Hi, I know this sounds silly but I could use some advice on it. I'm 16 and my boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half now. I lost my virginity to him, he wasn't a virgin, this past October. Now the problem is that we never ge...
A. 19 February 2010: Sure, if you want an adults right to drop your drawers and have sex whenever you want you need to act like an adult.
Start supporting yourself, leave home, get your own place and you will be able to have sex at will.
Otherwise, accept that ... (read in full...)
We have been dating 2 years and he won't introduce me to his mother!
Q. hi i have a very unique and difficult question,i am married and i have a boyfriend. he is divorced after being married for 29 years. i have been with him for 2 years and he still wont introduce me to his mother. i am always with him except when im ...
A. 19 February 2010: His mother might not be impressed with him having a girlfriend who is already married. If he is in the same age group as you his mother could quite possibly be of the era that believed in the vows of marriage, forsaking all others, etc etc.
Mayb... (read in full...)
I'm being told too many different things about feeding my baby and I'm worried I'm doing it wrong! Help!
Q. hey, i need some advice, i had a baby 4weeks ago, my partner already has a child and i was worried about him saying "your doing this wrong" but instead its everyone else and im feeling mega depressed and a failure. i had to have a c-section and my ...
A. 17 February 2010: I agree with eyeswideopen, find a doc, or nurse or child health nurse you like and listen to them, too much conflicting advise is not good for you or your baby. If your mum has never given you any reason to doubt her word in the past you could also ... (read in full...)
Hen nights/batchelor parties
Q. Ok, even though im not yet getting married because Im obviously too young right now. But I was wondering... Do the girls always go to male strip clubs and guys always go to girl strip clubs for the bachelor party or whatever? Cuz I always see that ...
A. 17 February 2010: Not all bride's have "hen's nights" its a fairly new institution, I find the whole "last night of freedom" thing a little insulting, especially to prospective wives and husbands, if marriage for you means some sort of imprisonment, why get ... (read in full...)
She and her Mother are turning me against my own family! Help!
Q. Recently I got introduced to a girl who is still in her school.She is average in looks.But, somehow she and her mother focred me into this relationship.I feel her mother has used some technique that I am totally mesmerised.It started only as ...
A. 16 February 2010: Why don't you just walk away, if you feel you cant do this on your own, ask your father or another older male relative to help you.... (read in full...)
Next time we go away he wants to take his mum with us!!!
Q. my partner's 50 and been living with his mother again for the last 5 months due to financial difficulties. the whole situation is really depressing him to say the least. although his mum willingly put him up he doesn't have his own space - 'his roo...
A. 16 February 2010: He may see this as an opportunity to say "thanks" to his mother, he may see it as an opportunity for you and his mother to be able to get together in a neutral place (not her house), or he may even not want to be away with just you.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not like me to smile at anyone.
Q. my boyfriend doesn't like it when i smile at people and he told me that he doesnt like it and he always fight with me so help me what should i do? ...
A. 10 February 2010: So help me this is not good for you, I think you should move on and find somebody who appreciates the fact you are friendly and prepared to show it with a smile.
... (read in full...)
Should I organize my birthday plans around his access visit with his daughter?
Q. Its my birthday today, i had planned a bbq at my house, when it started to rain i told my bf i was going to change to dinner with friends at a restaurant, he said no i cant come (because he has to drop his daughter off to her mums house at 8pm) just ...
A. 7 February 2010: Did you consult with your boyfriend when you were making your plans, did you ask him when he would be having access, did you ask him if he would like you to plan somewhere he could take his daughter, did you consider him at all when you were making ... (read in full...)
Should I organize my birthday plans around his access visit with his daughter?
Q. Its my birthday today, i had planned a bbq at my house, when it started to rain i told my bf i was going to change to dinner with friends at a restaurant, he said no i cant come (because he has to drop his daughter off to her mums house at 8pm) just ...
A. 7 February 2010: yes, especially if his access arrangements are of long standing or ordered through the family law courts, you do need to organise anything you want you boyfriend to attend around his child's access visits.... (read in full...)
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