A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:guys i need help, i dont know what to do :( you see i have this relationship with this girl.we were on for a month..i was just 18 that time..when our "relationship" ended she left. she went back to her province..the thing is,we had sex before she left. i got her pregnant and i didnt know. she hid it from me for 3 years..now, i received a letter from her friends telling me how bad was her situation is. my parents and girlfriend doesnt know. i cant even remmber the face of the girl..on the letter i received threats, saying that they would kill me if i even came close to the child..but they were asking me for support! i may sound like an a-hole, but i really dont care for the child and its mother. i don't even know them ( its been 3 years )..i get all the blame for what happened, but its not really my fault. the girl says i dont love her if i didnt had sex with her. so what can i do? im just a guy. she is the one who goes to my house if she feels like having sex when im alone..what would i tell my girlfriend? my parents? i cannot support the child coz i have a hard time supporting my family and myself..my brother has kidney problems and needs my support..he's just 5..and i really, really, really love my girlfriend. she's all that is to me..i am afraid on what she may think of me, and she may leave me for that.. :( please guys send me your thoughts..it will help a lot.. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): 1. before you go any further tell them that you need a DNA test done to prove that the child is your's. Otherwise tell them to shove off.
2. if it is your's I guess you have some responsiblity to help the child, but none to help the mother or her family.
3. good luck (and keep it wrapped in the future)
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 The Phillipines is very different to Australia so it will be difficult to give helpful suggestions. Do you have paternity tests there? Can you organise them through the courts?
It does sound as though you remember the girl, you say she would come to your house for sex when you were alone, maybe she did fall pregnant.
Talk to somebody, your parents preferably, and your girlfriend too, if this child is yours your parents will need to know and your girlfriend, and regardless of the laws there, if the child IS yours you have a moral obligation to help with support.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionbut thanks :) i appreciate it dude
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmaybe she just wants money. but i cannot support the child 100%..since i have a hard time supporting my family..i dont have a regular job..
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 It sounds suspicious. Perhaps I might have discovered a newfound paranoia in myself but I get the feeling she might just want money from you. But you should tell someone, your parents or your girlfriend if you truly trust her. Be honest and perhaps you will find the help you need with this. Has she given you any evidence of this child?
I hope that helps.
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