A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:is it wrong to like being a tease? I used to have very low self esteem and guys would use me but as i have grown up i am a more confident woman.being honest, not trying to sound like a snobby bitch but when i go out clubbing i feel like i can get anyone i want now. Guys are always talking to me, telling me im the most beautiful girl in the club, they want to get to know me etc.I know what these guys are like, they want sex and im not going to give it to them. But is it wrong to like the attention and having the power? am i wrong for using my looks and teasing guys who im never really going to do anything with?
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clubbing, self esteem, teasing Reply to this Question
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female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (13 April 2009):
 I smiled reading HavingProblems' analogy of men - to dogs ^-^
But anyways, if you are saying you are enjoying yourself, you have a bubbly personality, and you find it easy to talk to and laugh with guys, and the answer is "yes, it is fine".
It is interesting to see that you use the word "power". As Spiderman's uncle said (lol) ... "with power, comes responsibility". Just remember that. Part of this responsibility, is to *not* abuse your power. Hence, teasing the dogs and when they get all excited, you do not give it to them. Dogs may just slink away, but there are teenagers with raging hormones who may not be able to unfortunately. I don't want to scare you, but you have heard of "date rape", right? And roofies? [Never ever ever leave your drinks unattended! get a new fresh drink if you have to, and keep an eye on it as it is being poured and until it reaches your hands)
Looks fade, sweetie (though, if you come from a good gene pool and with a lot of money, you can still look hot into your 50s-60s!). But personality gets enriched as you get older.
So yes, enjoy your youth, but Karma is just around the corner. Be nice to those boys who are drooling and tell them to pick up their jaws off the floor too lol. Power is intoxicating! so just be careful.
Cat
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhaha i think i sounded a bit over the top before. Its not that bad, i dont accept drinks off strangers either i know too many people who have had drinks spiked. In the case of saturday night, i was talking to a cute guy he was telling me he thought i was hot etc i said he was too we were dancing then he went a bit far saying some detailed things about what he wanted to do to me so i got outta there!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (13 April 2009):
As long as you only tease guys who are after you in clubs for sex... you GO FOR IT! It's just playing the same game they are, but on a slightly less hardcore level.
The only thing you have to be careful of is:
a) don't do it to shy guys who have obviously plucked up the courage to speak to you - it'll crush them so be nice to them a bit.
b) don't do it to anyone you actually KNOW because they might think you like them and then they might like you and it just leads to massive amounts of drama and mess.
c) MOST IMPORTANTLY!!! Personal safety. Remember that the court system is stacked HEAVILY against women when it comes to rape cases. If you tease a guy who turns out to be a psycho and he spikes your drink / grabs you on the way home / anything else, then his defence lawyer will get witnesses in to say they saw you flirting with him in the club and that you therefore must have consented to any sex you had.
Don't lead someone on, don't use them for free drinks, ALWAYS go out with friends who will keep an eye on you, always keep an eye on your friends, always get a registered taxi home with a friend.
Make it clear to these guys that you are just playing and if they are just playing around and after a flirt and a snog and whatever else they can get then they will hang around and chat to you. If they are hardcore women hating psychos then they will move on to their next victim.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Having Problems??? +, writes (13 April 2009):
at the end of the day it's really up to you, just put it this way though. u wouldn't tease a dog with a treat 4 ages and not give them it would u? guys are the exact same, u can tease 2 a certain point but dont lead them to think they're going 2 get any or u might not be so lucky 1 day. be careful!
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