We are head over heels for each other but she says she loves me too much to subject me to being with her.
Q. Dear cupid, My gf and I split 5 months ago yet we continue to see each other about once a week. At best, I'm confused as to what she is doing to me and what she really wants. I have been having a terrible time coping to the point of affectin...
A. 15 March 2010: You HAVE to stop seeing her. You MUST cut all communication. This girl is trying to let you down while trying to not hurt your feelings, but it always hurts to be rejected. So learn from it, and move on. Dont waste any more time. Its almost ... (read in full...)
Not the jealous type, why do I feel so paranoid?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend about 2 years and we have lived together for the past 8 months. Everything is fine and we are happy. I am going out of town next week and I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is going to happen ...
A. 14 March 2010: Its not about trying to find "signs" that he cheated or not. Thats secondary. What is most important is YOUR feelings of distrust. You have developed these feelings and need to deal with them, and it will be difficult. His cheating or not is up to ... (read in full...)
Should I call or let it be?
Q. I have been with this guy for a few months. He knows that I wont do anything with him unless I get some kind of commitment but he still can't call himself my b/f because he isn't ready and doesn't want to make promises he can't keep. He did, ...
A. 30 April 2009: The problem is is that you want something he doest want. You want some commitment, he wants freedom. I respect his desire fgor freedom. It is absolutely possible to love someone and still desire freedom from commitment, that is a common ... (read in full...)
Please tell me if you can think of anything I can do to try and make up for what I did.
Q. About 4 and a half months ago my wife cheated on me. The affair had been going on for almost two months before I found out. When I found out I instantly forgave my wife and asked her to stay with me. She was going to leave me for him. However he ...
A. 29 April 2009: Jeeeze, how quick she sends you packing when you wrong her, and how quick you are to fogrgive her extramarital sexual/love affair. She sounds like she is just looking for ways to get rid of you and break this marriage up. I know you love her derly ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex doing this to me?
Q. Why is my ex doing this to me, he has a new gf, and we still get on really well as friends, the thing is he keeps going on about how i want 2 suck his cock,and then he says hes teasing me but then he said it may happen or it may not, I no i wo...
A. 29 April 2009: He sounds really immature and i would reccomend distancing yourself from him if you want these games to end. He is treating you like an object not a person, and you deserve better.... (read in full...)
We're taking a break from the relationship; how do I get her back?
Q. My gf of one year and I had some problems. Shes 2 years older and we're around 20-24 We were too dependant on each other for happiness. We actually started living together the last 4 months of the relationship (doing everything together, scheduling ...
A. 29 April 2009: "Obviously this was a formula for disaster"
"when one wanted to do something on their own the other would obviously feel unloved"
"doing everything together, scheduling classes around the sametime"
These arent signs of compatability, t... (read in full...)
We're taking a break from the relationship; how do I get her back?
Q. My gf of one year and I had some problems. Shes 2 years older and we're around 20-24 We were too dependant on each other for happiness. We actually started living together the last 4 months of the relationship (doing everything together, scheduling ...
A. 29 April 2009: If one or both of you "think" that breakup might be the best option, it usually is! Its called a BREAKUP because its broken. For whatever reason, you two arent compatible any more. Maybe you were once, but dont try to drag this out any longer,. It ... (read in full...)
I've fallen hard for her -- why won't she leave him for me?
Q. I fell in love with a girl that was my best friend as well. She has been dating my one of my ex-friends(we had a falling out a few months ago over her) for a year and a half. She loves him even though he treats her like crap. She has told me many ...
A. 29 April 2009: The fact is is that she isnt ready to move on. As much as you want her to stop loving this other guy, she isnt going to do that until the time is right for her. Only when SHE sees a real reason to stop loving him will she actually do it. Just ... (read in full...)
I have this guy at work that likes me but...
Q. i have this guy at work who likes me alot he does most of my work for me and does his work he buys me lunch all the time we talk and he is fun but the only thing is he is about 320 pounds and black as the marker your lookin at..he keeps telling me ...
A. 23 April 2009: Not be with him. If you cant see yourself with him then dont start dating him even though he does a bunch of nice things for you. Next time he tells you he wants to be your b/f, tell him you just dont see that happening, but you would like to be a ... (read in full...)
How can an inexperienced virgin, fearful of relationships, learn to be a great sexual lover?
Q. ...I M a 38 year Caucasian old heterosexual male completely inexperienced with relationships. Not only a virgin, I have never been been in a relationship or even DATE depending on the definition of 'date'? Significantly introverted, in ...
A. 22 April 2009: So he says "I havent been able to find a girlfriend all my life (because I dont have sexual confidence) and you reply with "Please find a girlfriend to gain sexual confidence"
Doesnt make sense. I would still recommend the escort, someone classy, ... (read in full...)
How can an inexperienced virgin, fearful of relationships, learn to be a great sexual lover?
Q. ...I M a 38 year Caucasian old heterosexual male completely inexperienced with relationships. Not only a virgin, I have never been been in a relationship or even DATE depending on the definition of 'date'? Significantly introverted, in ...
A. 21 April 2009: First off, congratulations on your excellent success and overcoming challenges in soo many areas of your life despite your mental ailment...that is highly commendable and I can ASSURE you you will also overcome this sex/relationship issue if you ... (read in full...)
He's the perfect guy, except he keeps texting his ex!
Q. I have been dating this guy for almost 2 years and I think he is absolutely perfect! He is sweet, caring, Always supportive of me, gorgeous body and face, and amazing in bed. He is 19 and already making almost a thousand dollars a day, smart, fun to ...
A. 15 April 2009: Dump his lame ass. There is someone out there, in fact, you WILL meet someone who will make him look pathetic in bed, guaranteed. Its all relative.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
We're in a make or break situation...unsure what to do!
Q. I've just had my first child with a my partner of 7 years. After having the baby my patner never bothered with me or my child and carried on with his life as if we didn't exist. I split from him after 5 months and went on a date with someone else. ...
A. 15 April 2009: If you want this to work you will need to start being nicer to him. You are only responsible ffor your half of the relationship, what you say or do.
That being said, from the limited information given here, it seems that this relationship will not... (read in full...)
Make a clean break or leave the door open?
Q. My boyfriend of six months wants time apart. He loves me but the timing of our relationship is bad. When we met he was in the process of ending a messy romantic relationship with his business partner. That relationship came on the heals of a ...
A. 15 April 2009: Give him an ultimatum: commit to being with me or i will move on to someone who does want to be with me. You dont have your whol life to waste waiting around.
The problem with waiting is that you DONT KNOW if their is something for you att ... (read in full...)
Make a clean break or leave the door open?
Q. My boyfriend of six months wants time apart. He loves me but the timing of our relationship is bad. When we met he was in the process of ending a messy romantic relationship with his business partner. That relationship came on the heals of a ...
A. 15 April 2009: Timing is a huge part of relationships and this timing is not great. In fact its very bad. He is not in a position to be in a relationship. You know it says alot about the relationship when one person has to struggle sooo much to "balance work an... (read in full...)
I see my FWB once a week, is that too much?
Q. do you think seeing an FWB about once a week is too much? i've been in this type of relationship with a guy who i dated for two months and then we decided it would be best to keep it casual. the thing is, i worry am i pushing too much if i ke...
A. 15 April 2009: As a male, I cant picture a FWB coming to me and asking for more sex and thinking to myself "Wow what a bother, my friend who I am completely unattached to and ONLY use for sex wants MORE sex, how bothersome"
No that would never happen. I think he... (read in full...)
Was my agreeing to have sex too fast?
Q. so ive had a crush on this guy for about 7 months now. He's always asked me to hang out after a party or something but ive always said no in some way. I rejected him a good 3 times. After a month of not talking because we were on spring break and ...
A. 15 April 2009: You want him to like you...you keep saying this over and over.
I am confused here, DO YOU LIKE HIM? Or did you just sleep with him for a fun night? Or if you didnt want to have sex, did he rape you?
If you like him, I would recommend pursui... (read in full...)
I just watched When Harry Met Sally and am now worried about my gf's best friend...
Q. Hello, I just watched the movie "When Harry Met Sally" and am now a little concerned. My gf's best guy friend is someone whom she has been involved with. It ended on a very awkward note for them, but they have remained good friends since. ...
A. 15 April 2009: I have a friend, who is a girl, and I dont want to date her. I hang out with her because we have great conversations, and it makes me happy to make her feel happy. On the other hand, I have a tough time being friends with ex-gf's because I feel r... (read in full...)
Her mom found out we are sexually active and has threatened to press charges against me.
Q. I am 17 and my girlfriend is 15. Her mom found out we are sexually active and has threatened to press charges against me. I never forced her, but can I still get in trouble....
A. 15 April 2009: Sorry the legal age of consent actually ranges from 14 to 18. Also a typo... (read in full...)
Her mom found out we are sexually active and has threatened to press charges against me.
Q. I am 17 and my girlfriend is 15. Her mom found out we are sexually active and has threatened to press charges against me. I never forced her, but can I still get in trouble....
A. 15 April 2009: The United States has ages of consent ranging from 15 to 18. For example, washington the age of consent is 15. That means if this boy lives in washington, no charges can be brought against him. Furthermore, Even if the state he lives in has an ... (read in full...)
Her mom found out we are sexually active and has threatened to press charges against me.
Q. I am 17 and my girlfriend is 15. Her mom found out we are sexually active and has threatened to press charges against me. I never forced her, but can I still get in trouble....
A. 15 April 2009: Wow such harsh answers and none of them are based on any research! As long as you ARE TRULY under 18, you have VERY little to worry about, other than your morals and values.
Some important things to consider:
1. She probably, almost positively, ... (read in full...)
My ex just annoyed me with a AIM message a little while ago.
Q. My ex just annoyed me with a AIM message a little while ago. Here's the direct quote "I did whatever I had to do to make it more enjoyable......because I don't know if you know this.... but you're not working with much... I'm not trying to be funny ...
A. 15 April 2009: Yeah she is jealous man! Maybe you are working with more than she has ever worked with haha and she just wants to make you feel hurt so you start begging her to come back. But obviously she is not nice and not worth ANY of your time. Ignore her.... (read in full...)
Will he leave me if I don't want to be on top?
Q. I am 27 i have been sexually active since 16 but i am still scared to get on top and ride my partner. do you have any advice to break me out of my shyness. also,do you think my man will leave me because of this issue?...
A. 15 April 2009: I cant believe someone said "Yes a man should leave you for not riding him" That is completely unhelpful and not very thoughtful. Its not true. Just work on being more assertive and comfortable with your body...there are many ways to accompli... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to feel this need for our penance?
Q. Here’s the story… This happened years ago… So, I met this girl who was a little rebellious at first. She was flunking out of school and what not. I really liked her because she was herself around me. I feel madly in love with her. She was perfect ...
A. 13 April 2009: I wouldn't let this girl back in your life man she totally wronged you. Cheated on you multiple times. Find someone more compatible with your values. You mention how it makes you angry when she does certain things. The solution is to find a girl w... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell me what my problem is?
Q. I'm a guy, i've been dating since i was 16, albeit poorly. I've tried to be every kind of guy, badass, nice, and in between. And everything else you can think of. All i want, all i've ever wanted, is a stable relationship. Something that, i can ...
A. 13 April 2009: Girls like a guy who has stuff going for himself. You said you want to spend every minute with her, that means you are too clingy. You need to get your life in order and make yourself happy for yourself. Do not rely on a woman to make you happy, ... (read in full...)
Should I or shouldn't I, have sex with my ex?
Q. I've been contemplating this problem for a few days now, and still haven't come to a conclusion! I spoke to my ex-boyfriend last Wednesday (we don't talk much, he's in the US army) and we started off with the general chat, how everything was g...
A. 13 April 2009: Its a bad idea to have sex with your ex. It brings back all sorts of emotional turmoil that you shouldnt have to deal with. The relationship ended for a reason and now you are in the process of moving on.
You need to start moving on by avoiding... (read in full...)
Signs of your ex still cares for you, anyone?
Q. Does anyone know what some of the signs are that your ex still really cares and loves you, but is not ready for a commitment? ...
A. 12 April 2009: Its almost a given that your ex still cares for you, but she is probably trying to move on because the relationship didn't work for whatever reason. Usually if one person feels a breakup might be a good solution to the relationship, they are ... (read in full...)
She said she wanted to back off
Q. Hello all, yes I have had another problem in my relationship and would like to know peoples thoughts. After my previous posts.. We got back together this time I stood back and tried not to think to much into things that may bother me (ie photos) ...
A. 12 April 2009: She said she doesn't have feelings for you and whether or not thats true, you have to assume it is and move on for your own sanity. Its really hard being hurt like this and it makes you question yourself and your life but don't worry, through the ... (read in full...)
My b/f loves tap dancing, and I love a Man's man. What do I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been dating my boyfriend for four years. We are both in our early thirties and hope to have a long future together. My problem is this, though I love my boyfriend very much, I am having issues with his masculinity. I am very att...
A. 8 April 2009: Wow Satinsdesire and Wonderingcat you have both presented great cases for nature and nurture of feminine characteristics!
I realize nurture indicates more of an upbringing, but consider thinking about gender chracteristics in terms of our CULTURE ... (read in full...)
My b/f loves tap dancing, and I love a Man's man. What do I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been dating my boyfriend for four years. We are both in our early thirties and hope to have a long future together. My problem is this, though I love my boyfriend very much, I am having issues with his masculinity. I am very att...
A. 7 April 2009: I think its fantastic that you want different qualities in a guy. It takes most people along time to realize what they want.
My advice is to move on, because you obviously dont like your b/f's qualities.
Thats as simple an issue if i ever ... (read in full...)
My b/f loves tap dancing, and I love a Man's man. What do I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been dating my boyfriend for four years. We are both in our early thirties and hope to have a long future together. My problem is this, though I love my boyfriend very much, I am having issues with his masculinity. I am very att...
A. 7 April 2009: Satins desire...I read through both the posters posts and all the responses.
I have a personal connection and personal experience where the guy is coming from in this post so please hear me out. For almost a year, I have been involved in a very c... (read in full...)
My b/f loves tap dancing, and I love a Man's man. What do I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been dating my boyfriend for four years. We are both in our early thirties and hope to have a long future together. My problem is this, though I love my boyfriend very much, I am having issues with his masculinity. I am very att...
A. 7 April 2009: I understnd where he is coming from and where you are coming from.
You said it yourself, you dont like his tap dancing. So either get past that fact or move on in the relationship. Dont try to change him.
I think its really sad that you label p... (read in full...)
I think I need more than just love.
Q. Is love enough? Or do I need more than just love? I'm dating a guy right now who is very loving towards me, both physically and emotionally. We are both in college. I will be graduating in May and will be moving to another state, and he will be i...
A. 4 April 2009: Its not that someone else is better than him. Don't judge him for the way he is. If you want someone else, fine, move on, but dont believe you will find "better" ...you WILL find different, but he is a person with feelings, with value. Just beca... (read in full...)
Am I in any way tied to her after wearing that chain/necklace?
Q. i broke up with my gf recently ...we were committed for a year and were planning about convincing our parents for our marriage... but being only 17 always used to talk about our marriage and kids and was super excited which made me feel awkward ... ...
A. 4 April 2009: Throw the necklace away. You are NOT possessed by her. It doesnt matter if she bought you a house and had your child, you own yourself, and you dont have to do anything you dont want to do, including date a girl. Just throw it away and forget about ... (read in full...)
I am liberally sexual and want to experiment, does that make me gay?
Q. I want to have a full sexual contact threesome with a man woman couple and I want to experience everything there is to do does that make me gay?...
A. 4 April 2009: Why label your sexuality? Everyone exists on a spectrum of sexuality so dont put a label on it, it limits you.
Unless your afraid of society. But I say, be yourself.... (read in full...)
We're crazy about each other but she doesn't want to be with me!
Q. I'm heartbroken. I've been interested in this girl for years. She's always been interested in me. She told me quite frankly how her world turns upside down when she's with me. We have a wonderful time when we go out... but she says she's not ...
A. 3 April 2009: Just keep being her friend and being nice to her. Give her whatever you can give (in terms of love and kindness), but make sure you are happy first. If she doesnt want a romantic thing, just let it be friends and be thankful for that. Keep your chin ... (read in full...)
Haven't broken up but he wants freedom to travel and sleep around
Q. I am very upset and conflicted as to what to do and I need some advice and was hoping you could help. Yesterday my boyfriend left for a year of travelling around the world after completing his degree. We have been dating for a year and it has ...
A. 3 April 2009: You dont have a choice whether he cheats or not. You cant control him. There is no "allow" or not.
If you guys remained dating, how would you maintain this long distance relationship? Phone calls? Is that possible? It sounds like he already ... (read in full...)
My marriage sucks
Q. Ok, so this might be a long post but i have a lot on my mind right now. Pretty much the gist of my issue is my husband and myself. I am 20 and he is 23, so yea we got got married pretty young (actually when I was 18 and he was 21 but anyways) which ...
A. 3 April 2009: It is profound that you are experiencing this very heavy issue at such a young age. Your intuition is right on, dont doubt your feelings here. Your marriage IS struggling. There is a huge communication, trust, and possibly a love lacking issue here. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hides things from me
Q. I'm now at the point where I just want to know if I am overreacting or not. My boyfriend and I have been together over 2 years. Throughout the relationship there's been trust issues; I cheated on him with a girl early on in the relationship but we ...
A. 3 April 2009: Was the cd music or her stripping? Big difference.
I dont think its a big deal about the porn. It sucks that he lied about it to you though.
In terms of him meeting up with ex g/f's, its his right and freedom to be friends with whoever he ... (read in full...)
Friends don't like my boyfriend but I feel hurt and in love
Q. I need help! a lot of help. Well me and my x bf have been on and off for a year. my friends hate it but im really happy even though im hurt when we break up. He says the sweatest things and i feel like my friends dont see the side of him that i do. ...
A. 2 April 2009: Seems like an emotional rollercoaster that might be more trouble than its worth. Maybe take a longer break this time and see what happens. Focus on your own life and not your dating life, and you will be more clear headed about whether or not to ... (read in full...)
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