A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey i'm 15 and have a boyfriend and he is 20 he is nice,cute,understanding,stupid,and very important to me but my parents knows about this and they really don't like him so what i'm going to do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Rhandy +, writes (13 April 2009):
 hi first thing comes in my mind since you are my colleagues is that u need to ask why they doesn't like him. or maybe the gap age however since you are 15 are your bf is 20 of course if i am your parents the first thing comes in my mind is that this guy is taking advantage to you. Maybe im wrong but you need to explain to them and open up your plans since your so young.thanks
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): Your parents concerns are normal. You are way too young for this girl. What would a 20yr old guy want for a 15yr old. That's a huge gap for that age. When you get older the gap isn't a big deal.
Maybe you should date guys your age.
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (12 April 2009):
 Do you live in the Phillipines? Why do your parents not like him, do you know? Is this because you are still in school? What is the legal age for consent in the Phillipines? If anything sexual happened to you, he could go to jail for it, based on your country's child protection law.
There could be many reasons why your parents are concerned about this man that you love badly. Ask them what it is that worry them most. Are they afraid that he wants to marry you soon, which means you will not be able to continue your school? Or does he want to take you away somewhere, thus they are afraid that he may be part of a human trafficking chain? Or is he of a different religion? Or maybe because they think he has no potential of providing you well in your married life?
Talk to your parents about this, and try to see things from their perspectives too. You can do this by "imagining" if you were the parents, and you had a teenager who is in the same position as you are now.
Having said all that, I think it would be better for you to finish your high school at least. And perhaps, even continue your university education, so that you can have a good job regardless of your marital status.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (12 April 2009):
 Really? eyesliketheocean it's normal for girls to have sex at 13 in the UK? I think NOT! Maybe in the uneducated CHAVY areas of the UK but in general it is not normal at all!
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A
female
reader, Eyesliketheocean +, writes (12 April 2009):
Tbh I think you should talk to Him about it, be like my parents aren't keen onseeing me beause your alot older and they think you'll expect me to have sex. ( even though people at my school have had sex at the age of 13, it's treated as normal round here). If he understands and says e won't rush you or pressure you into having sex then dw bout it. Find out what your parents don't like about him if your not sure, then assure them it's fine. Maybe he could talk to them too...? X good luck :)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 April 2009):
 Right on (I'm trying to bring the 'right on' back) Medic!
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (12 April 2009):
I think our anonymous aunt may not be much older than you and not understand the worry parents face when their little girl starts dating an older man.
I think what concerns your parents is the fact that this boy is older than you are, he will have finished school and will either be in university or be working.
Also a man of his age will be looking for sex, there is no denying this fact, and I don't know what the age of consent is in the Philippines but here in the UK it is 16 and any Man who has sex with a girl under this age is considered a paedophile and can be sent to prison.
I know in adult terms five years is nothing at all, but the things I wanted to do at 15 with girls my age and the things I wanted at 20 are so very different!
I think your parents will be worried that this MAN will expect more from you than you should really have to experience at such a young age.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): Why do they not like him? Do they have valid reasons? If so what are they
Solution, invite him around to meet your parents and then they can be not so judgemental!
They should be happy if you are happy and well cared for by this guy.
All the best and he sounds lovely to me!
izi
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