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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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My wife was a teenage slut - accepting her promiscuous past
Q. I just wanted to post this due to all the posts re girls with promiscuous pasts. Here is my story. I fell head over heels for my now wife when she was 22 and I 23. Our relationship progressed and soon we both realized we were utterly in love ...
A. 9 July 2010: Yeah,yeah, BFD... how bout this...I was a virgin ewhen I met my wife and she'd been with at lest 5 if you count her brother. So get the heck over it...life sucks and then you die.... (read in full...)
My husband says he isn't in love with me and it's tearing me apart!
Q. I don't know where to turn. My husband and I have been together for 9 years, and we have 3 kids(one is my teenage daughter from a previous relationship). We have a comfortable lifestyle and a nice home. We both have good jobs we enjoy, and I am so ...
A. 23 June 2010: I have seen this drama played out time after time and the wife ALWAYS gets hurt. I know there's kids involved and that's the really bad part but I think a divorce lawyer should be talked too. You have to think of you anf=d the kids above all else. ... (read in full...)
Tired of lying -- should I fess up?
Q. I gave my husband (now ex husband) oral sex and he gave me oral sex and then we had a long and wild sex session that evening. After my husband (ex) fell to sleep, I called the police because my husband (ex) had traffic warrants. I wanted my ...
A. 23 June 2010: OK; This one takes the cake-what in the world does calling te cops have to do with wild oral sex unless he was really really bad at it?... (read in full...)
Disappearing men dilemma! Can someone explain this to me?
Q. My question is about dissapearing men. In my experience they dissapear without absolutely no logic in it. There are moments in my life when i stop liking a guy who i am seeing. I tell him that, despite the fact that it's very much not my favorite ...
A. 23 June 2010: As difficult as it is for me to admit this; Men ghave VERY fragile egos. We do not take rejection or critic very well. The ONLY thing we know how to do is stand and fight OR run like heck. None of us are very good at discussing issues or ... (read in full...)
Is my disinterest in sex normal?
Q. I am a 40 year old women that have a total hysterectomy at age 28. My husband is 44. He wants to have sex everyday. If I don't want to he masterbaits. Is this normal or am I just being a bad wife? Should we see a doctor together? ...
A. 23 June 2010: sadly it's entirely "normal". My wife had the same thing and I used to taunt her as trying to "re-virginate" She saw no humor in it either. Let him masterbate all he wants it's not going to hurt anything. Testosterone is the culprit if there has ... (read in full...)
Does anyone have wise words regarding shattered confidence?
Q. I feel so rubbish and hope someone can cheer me up.. I have had an on-off relationship with a guy for about 5 years now. Our relationship has been very intense, but he always runs away and comes back again. We recently got back in touch again ...
A. 23 June 2010: I don't see it as anything but a very loving and honest way of saying we're like oil and water but you deserve better than me.(parasphrasing) It's my suposition that heloved you deeply but couldn't handle the relationship for one reason or another ... (read in full...)
My wife was a teenage slut - accepting her promiscuous past
Q. I just wanted to post this due to all the posts re girls with promiscuous pasts. Here is my story. I fell head over heels for my now wife when she was 22 and I 23. Our relationship progressed and soon we both realized we were utterly in love ...
A. 22 June 2010: I've beeen married 46 years to my first real sexual partner and although she "majored in boys" her terms not mine) i've always been true to her and vica versa. she did mention once though that i had the smallest(you know what0 of all the boys she'd ... (read in full...)
Why can't my boyfriend see sex is not important?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8-9 months and we have sex occasionaly but my boyfriend is always horny but I have trouble getting wet. He thinks that I don't want to have sex with him but I really do. I just can't. When we do have sex it ...
A. 22 June 2010: There are alternatives to vaginal sex that will be much more enjoyable to him and less painfull for youuse your hands and your imagination- Lucky guy!... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't want sex, but gave me a full on kiss ... why?
Q. Ok guys, this is a strange one really but need sum sort of advice, ive basically i hate 2 say it have got myself a fb, well i said used to have one, The other week once a week i pick him up from his local pub and we have a little chat and st...
A. 22 June 2010: ANY man saying he's not going to want sex with you is like a fish saying water is not a big deal.... (read in full...)
I don't enjoy giving oral sex, is this normal?
Q. I don't enjoy giving my boyfriend a blow job. Is that normal? Last night i kept trying and then gagging within a few seconds. He knows i don't enjoy it and can't understand why. Last night he told me that i should enjoy it really which made me feel ...
A. 21 June 2010: Don't dispair, Blow jobs are so yesterday. A good hand job is way better anyway.... (read in full...)
How do you know if she is having a real orgasm?
Q. How do you know if a woman is having an orgasm? Ive heard alot of women fake it. But how do you know if its real? My girlfriend likes it when i lick and finger her at the same time. While doing it, she pulls my hair and presses my head against ...
A. 20 June 2010: To me the give away is if there is no flush(you know redness if the chest or face.... (read in full...)
Sex positions for female stimulation?
Q. So I'm definitely what you'd call adventurous in bed and willing to try pretty much anything. But my favorite position is missionary and I'm worried I'll be seen as "boring" or something. I can orgasm from penetrative sex better than anything else, ...
A. 20 June 2010: Try holding your knees and crunch your abs so he can angle upward to pressure the G-spot as you masturbate...works for my girl.... (read in full...)
Does it feel the same?
Q. Hey, up until now I've only had an orgasm through simulating the clit without intercourse, out of curiosity is the feeling of a vaginal orgasm the same, I mean through intercourse?...
A. 20 June 2010: if your lover knows how to
'hit" the G-spot by adjusting the penetration angle you will blow your mind!... (read in full...)
Does he find normal sex boring?
Q. my boyfriend and i are having issues with sex. I want sex alot but he says that he hates it to often as it gets borin! Im gettin frustrated as im always the 1 givin oral and bring in toys etc to spice things up but i get hardly any input on his ...
A. 20 June 2010: I think Chippy 2 has hit the nail on the head. Non-kinky sex can get boring so if you just like 'normal' sex but a LOT of it yoiu may need to move on down the road. Good Luck!... (read in full...)
Is he gay if he likes anal massages?
Q. i was just curious about something. been with my partner 2 years, we are really happy together and have high sex drives (we are at it everyday most of the time) the other night he guided my finger up his bum, while he led there masturbating and he c...
A. 20 June 2010: No, not gay...you just pressed the prostate at the "correct" moment which led to a big-ol' orgasm. it's probably the equivelant to your g0spot getting "attntion at the "correct" moment. ain't no big deal- Gay folks know about it more than ... (read in full...)
She won't return the favour!
Q. So me and my girlfriend have been going out for a little while now, i finger here and go down sometimes every time we fool around and she says she likes it, but she has only touched it once out of numerous times ive done it to her. I try to refrain ...
A. 19 June 2010: if there is no two-way street then there is no where to go without backing up. Try dating other girls. Tell her why you're going to go date others and see what she does. If it's still all about her then move on 'cause it's all about her don't work ... (read in full...)
How do I introduce a vibrator into sex?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for 5 months and we are madly in love, We have amazing passionate sex which feels great! BUT he just doesnt really care about me orgasming, he does want to try though. but hes impatient and cant keep a hard on and use h...
A. 19 June 2010: He should be told directly that if he wants to go all the way with youhe needs to comply with your "needs"... (read in full...)
Why does she essentially require that I have an erection during oral sex?
Q. My fiance and I have a pretty good sex life but it's not without some quirks. I've always enjoyed giving her oral sex. She claims that I'm the first who has been able to bring her to orgasm this way. The problem is that she essentially requ...
A. 18 June 2010: Good Grief! That's unreasonable. After all do you expect her nipples to be erect during anal sex?... (read in full...)
I looked at porn and my wife thinks I cheated!
Q. How can I prove to my wife I am not, and have never cheated on her? Recently my wife found out I had been looking at porn, it is something we had agreed not to do in the past, argued about in the past, and for some reason I looked at it again (I am ...
A. 18 June 2010: Some women think that if you think it you did it! I don't get that but I know my wife thinks that way. If I look at a women's clevage at a party and she sees me then I may as well have felt her up or something. Paranoia I assume?... (read in full...)
Why does she essentially require that I have an erection during oral sex?
Q. My fiance and I have a pretty good sex life but it's not without some quirks. I've always enjoyed giving her oral sex. She claims that I'm the first who has been able to bring her to orgasm this way. The problem is that she essentially requ...
A. 18 June 2010: OK, I gotta admit this one's way over my head...As an older man my memories of performing 69 was to give HER the big O not me!... (read in full...)
Strong fear of sex, should I see a doctor?
Q. hello every one Im very scared of sex and felt that i would not get married , because i cant take my clothes off in front of my husband and made him touch me , then i feel disgusted of the sez,, knowing that my mother does not speak to me about se...
A. 18 June 2010: I think you know the answer but do remember if you see a doctor and mention the previous abuse he is obligated to report it. Just be strong and march on The world needs to rid itself of those folks and you'll be a stronger women because of it. ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and scared my mum will find out I'm masturbating!
Q. i am 13 and have been masturbating for a while now...im scared though that my mom is supicous of some thing and if she catches me im teriffed she will take it badly and get mad at me i read about how its natural for some one my age but still :( what ...
A. 18 June 2010: Truth be known, she's probably worried you might find out she's still masturbating...don't worry be happy!... (read in full...)
Natural women verses porn...
Q. I have a question... I know there is A LOT of porn out there, many different genres, featuring a lot of different types of people, amateur, alt porn, etc. But if we talk about mainstream porn, which is the most common type, we'd all agree that t...
A. 18 June 2010: I personally prefer natural to implants... The same question could be turned around though to ask about men. Do women really pay all that much attention to size I know men do we all envy those really hung dudes. They seem to satisfy the females ... (read in full...)
Will my heart ever mend?
Q. Ever had your heart broken so badly it hurts physically inside too, like you have had it ripped out without painkillers? I have. My ex destroyed me, my self esteem, my confidence and faith. He led me on for years believing he wanted me, wanted to ...
A. 18 June 2010: From a man's point of view(yeah we have our hearts broken too) you will never forget that pain but you will move on in life to find another that you love. Our psychological defenses vote to push pain aside or else just die. We she told me her ... (read in full...)
I'm always sad and lonely!
Q. why do i feel so empty most of the time? i work three days out of the week, which my husband drops me to work in the morning and a stay home mom the other four days. he gives me two hundred dollars spending money every week. we have a beautiful ...
A. 17 June 2010: Get a grip, you are not going wrong. You may have depression(please see a doctor about it) Your husband is 'on edge" and acting foolish because he can't fix it (whatever it is) if he acts like a jackass it's not your fault. he just doesn;t ... (read in full...)
We have had various arguments and fights. Should we date again??
Q. Sorry this is going to be really long....... Me and my girlfriend recently broke up after 10 months of dating. In that time we have had a couple arguments and a couple fights. We went on a break about 3 months ago and she kissed another guy, the...
A. 17 June 2010: My advice (now I'm way removed from the dating scene-so take this with a grain of salt) would be to say nah, we don't mix well together and I don't need the head games so let's stay where we are for a year or two then look at the situation. Maybe ... (read in full...)
I hate porn! Is it true all men watch it?
Q. I'm a 21 year old girl, and I HATE porn. I really, downright hate it. I think that, because of it, I may be doomed to stay single forever. I had a boyfriend until recently. He watched porn, but I just had to deal with it and it killed me inside...
A. 16 June 2010: Your last line says; What are my options? become a man so yeah you infered that... (read in full...)
Is sex on a second date too soon from a guys point of view?
Q. Hi everyone, I just started talking to a guy who I met online about 2 months ago, and things are going great! We talked through e-mails for almost a month, and then he came to visit me and took me out, and we really hit it off and had a great time...
A. 16 June 2010: Asan older guy I'd say yes too soon but it's always up to the girl. NEVER feel pressured or forced into it. I you feel pressured you are with the wrong guy. Suspense is very erotic.Plus you don't have to go "all theway' to make a guy happy. A ... (read in full...)
Could this be bad for our marriage?
Q. I am a 59 year old woman married for 28 years. When my husband developed health issues that affected his ability to get an erection I thought my sex life was over. He tried Viagra and and some other stuff and when nothing worked he started telling ...
A. 16 June 2010: Having been married for 46 years now and having been through what your hubby has;i.e. erection problems and ejaculation issues. I can understand his desparate suggestions to have you be satsified sexually but guess what. there are numerouse ... (read in full...)
Why is the porn argument so one-sided?
Q. Why is it that when a woman is hurt by porn use it's always about why she should change herself to accept it and how it's her fault that it bothers her and how basically, it's all about the sacrifices she needs to make to accommodate him? Why is it ...
A. 16 June 2010: Men live out fantasy sex via porn and obsese over the fact that they can never seem to make thier partner respond in the manner dipicted- We(yes I'm a man) then must assume it's because we are not as well hung as the men in the porn clips...I wish ... (read in full...)
The married man I am having an affair with is cheating on me!
Q. im having an affair to a married man and we are now six years, the problem is he's having a fling relationship to another woman, how can i stop him on this kind of habit i feel so hurt and jealous..what will i do for him should i leave him but i ...
A. 16 June 2010: I'm shocked! A guy that's left his marriage bed to fool around is foolin' around on the girl he's been foolin' around with...he must be a fool; Run to the hills and find a "real relationship".... (read in full...)
I hate porn! Is it true all men watch it?
Q. I'm a 21 year old girl, and I HATE porn. I really, downright hate it. I think that, because of it, I may be doomed to stay single forever. I had a boyfriend until recently. He watched porn, but I just had to deal with it and it killed me inside...
A. 16 June 2010: No you DO NOT want to become a man(I are one) then you will be compelled to watch porn and ypu'll hate yourself instead of just hating men and what they like. I'm sure there are some men who don't like porn; just keep looking, when you find one ... (read in full...)
Why do some straight women read/write male-on-male fiction?
Q. Hello there, I'm a 23 year old woman from Indonesia. I am single and heterosexual, I can tell, because I don't feel like it with another women. A pair of breasts is more than enough. I am also very into guys, and Dear Lord, some guys are made just ...
A. 15 June 2010: I gotta say that's a first for me. The only part i kinda relate to is the fact that men like to watch gir on girl sex...for me its mainly to watch thier orgasms they seem to have more intense O's with same sex than with hetro sex. Its all in the ... (read in full...)
Is 18 too young to buy the sex toy called a "bullet"?
Q. Is 18 too young to buy a bullet? As in the sex toy. I feel like dildos and vibrators are for much older women - but I've never had an orgasm :(...
A. 15 June 2010: You are never too young to have pleasure, however, the folks that make the laws about such things think that if you're under 18 you ought to be playing with dolls and reading the bible so don't look to be able to actually buy something that might ... (read in full...)
My husband never wants sex!
Q. hi I am freaking out bc my husband says he loves me and is good in ALL ways..BUT he ignores me with sex.......makes no advances he admits he masturbates a lot and has done so since he was younger we had a great sexual relationship in the beginning...
A. 15 June 2010: On theother side of your coin is me and tons of other guys; long time marriage with tons of 'up-front sex" but now it's NO! Never again! So if it's any consolation there are men being given the exact same tratment. try one more time by oral ... (read in full...)
Help! I'm in a loveless marriage!
Q. Im woman married for four years now. Our relationship has been mainly long distant for the past five years. We have one child, a daughter who is 2 years old. The hubby does not provide for the family. If i try to ask him, he gets defensive and ...
A. 14 June 2010: And yet you continue the charade? If it's support you want,get a good attorney and file for divorce.... (read in full...)
Damsel in distress
Q. Here is my situation... I have been living with my bf for 3 months now and we have been dating for 8 months. I am unemployed and spend alot of time at home and have no motivation to go out and find a job in my field. I do have my own money so he ha...
A. 14 June 2010: What a dilema! i think the 'porn issue' is a red herring for a real problem in the overall relationship. all men treat themselves to some porn from time to time. when we get caught we are(justifiably in my mind) outraged at the intrusion into our ... (read in full...)
Refreshing the sex life?
Q. How to Refresh our Sex Life I've been married to my husband for more than 20 years and we have a very active sex life. However, I guess he would somehow get bored because I know for sure he has got so used to our style for all these years. Wh...
A. 11 June 2010: By eliminating anal sex or any other pleasure you have automatically denied yourself the true use of fantasy to improve your future in the bed room. Try watching porn for a few days with your partner whioe you are both nude. Good luck... (read in full...)
Why is the porn argument so one-sided?
Q. Why is it that when a woman is hurt by porn use it's always about why she should change herself to accept it and how it's her fault that it bothers her and how basically, it's all about the sacrifices she needs to make to accommodate him? Why is it ...
A. 11 June 2010: The aurgument is age old[women's sex drive and fantasy is nearly the opposite of the male's] Phsycological or physiological? who knows? All I know is that we were dating she did things I still wonder about and I had the stamina of a horse. Now ... (read in full...)
What is a normal amount of sex for a relationship and why can't he stay hard?
Q. dear cupid, my boyfriend and i have been together six months and at first, he explained that he left his wife because there was no sexual attraction anymore, that she had gained a lot of weight, didn't care about herself, and as a result, when the...
A. 11 June 2010: Porn is not the problem(only the symptom) He may have a medical problem(see urology)But if he sees no problem and checks out OK with doctors, then it's a moot point. PS there is no "Normal amount of sex" There's more of it in youth than in older ... (read in full...)
What do I do about my ex?
Q. ive been in love with my ex for some time, but i broke up with him because what he says and what he does are 2 seperate things. he says he loves me, but he tells my friends he wants nothing to do with me whenever he gets mad. i really want to be ...
A. 11 June 2010: While you are thinking clearly, write a long letter describing in detail how you feel and how you see the problem(Not Facebook) then mail it to him and wait for two weeks. IF he can resolve his problems he'll write back(Not Facebook) then ... (read in full...)
One way or the other I'm going to hurt someone, and I'll be hurt too!
Q. please help, i come from a very religious family. we are christians and my family follow the faith to the letter. recently they found out that my best friend is a lesbian through the gossips in our village. they were disgusted. they told me ...
A. 11 June 2010: Ah yess, the oldest dilema in time...Faith versus reality. i'm sad to report there is but one path to follow if you believe in the bible and doesn't include same sex unions. Ergo, you will have to remove yourself from the back and forth and make ... (read in full...)
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