A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,I just started talking to a guy who I met online about 2 months ago, and things are going great! We talked through e-mails for almost a month, and then he came to visit me and took me out, and we really hit it off and had a great time together. We did a lot of flirting, just casual touching, and a little cuddling, but only one small peck on the mouth when he was leaving. That was the first time we met in real life, but we have been talking on the phone almost every night, sometimes for hours and we have really started liking each other a lot. Last night he said that he wants to make out with me, and that he had been thinking about it a lot. I have too, and I am going to visit him in a few weeks. I am wondering if anyone has any ideas to really drive him wild while making out?I am not usually very sexually reserved, and I know I will probably want to sleep with him, but I also don't want him to lose respect for me. Do you think I should hold off on sex? We have been talking for a couple months, but this will only be the second time we have seen each other. Does that seem to soon from a guy's point of view?Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2010): I would never call a woman again who had sex with me on the second date.
Second date sex = slam piece.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): If he looses respect for you after you guys had sex then what does he think of himself?
Why do you need someone who might loose respect of you after youboth did what you wanted to do? Sex is beatifull, very healthy intimate way to spend time when two adults like each other.
This wholle talk about chasing a girl that what makes a man appreciate her more really is a bs talk. He can chase you than get what he wants and leave anyway.
I would think not about being hard to get, but about getting to know him better. For yourself, and then make a desision wether you want to have sex with him or not.
He might act very nice in a beginning, and then after he gets what he wants show real self. The more time you know him, the less and less he will pretend to be someone that he is not just to get sex.
Don't worry about what he thinks, worry about you, how you are going to feel.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 June 2010):
 The answer to this question lies with what you want out of this relationship. If you're looking for a purely sexual fling with no future, then why not?
BUT, if you're looking for a solid long term relationship, the best rule is to take it slowly in the physical sense. The time you've spent getting to know him isn't enough to see the REAL him, when he lets his hair down, and the real you, when you let your hair down.
Your sexual reserve serves you well in this case. Kissing him, doing a little making out (without sex) might be a fun thing to do, but the secret is TEASING and a little tasting rather than giving him the whole enchilada.
Sex can NEVER be used to cement a relationship in its starting phase. You don't need to worry that not having sex will hurt the relationship unless the guy was only out for it in the first place. But from what it sounds like, he's interested in you for more than just a tumble.
I know you're already thinking this, but it's possible that despite your best intentions, you'll end up in bed with the guy. If that happens, don't sweat it. Just be ultra safe. But, you don't have to let it get to that point. Just don't beat yourself up about it.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (16 June 2010):
 I agree with TimmD. The ammount of communication you've had greatly exceeds what most people have had by the second date. See where things go, but just let them happen. I know you'll probably want to tear eachother's cloths off, but take it slow. Still, Personally, I wouldn't think less of you if I was in his shoes.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (16 June 2010):
 From a guy's standpoint, I'd say the standard "second date rule" doesn't apply here since this isn't the standard second date. You two know each other much better than a typical couple would after just 2 dates. With that being said, I still think you should leave it up to him. As a guy, I like a girl who's confident and eager, but not OVERLY eager clearly wanting sex.
The best thing I suggest is to just let things happen naturally. Don't go in expecting anything, just stay relaxed and see where things go. If it leads to sex, then great... but don't force it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 June 2010):
Just the second time you've seen each other? You're moving a bit too fast. You really need more time to get to know each other. That way he wont just use you then lose you when he's done. Take your time getting to know him in person.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (16 June 2010):
 Asan older guy I'd say yes too soon but it's always up to the girl. NEVER feel pressured or forced into it. I you feel pressured you are with the wrong guy. Suspense is very erotic.Plus you don't have to go "all theway' to make a guy happy. A happy girl on a date makes for a happy couple on a date. R.
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