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The married man I am having an affair with is cheating on me!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Dating, Forbidden love, Marriage problems, Sex, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 June 2010) 20 Answers - (Newest, 21 February 2011)
A female Italy age 41-50, anonymous writes:

im having an affair to a married man and we are now six years, the problem is he's having a fling relationship to another woman, how can i stop him on this kind of habit i feel so hurt and jealous..what will i do for him should i leave him but i love him so much. i need a help thanks

View related questions: affair, jealous, married man

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011):

What did you do? I am in your shoes now. I have been with a married man for 3 years now, never asked or wanted him to leave his wife. I found out on Valentine's day that he has been seeing other women as well. I love him so much. I have not been able to eat to sleep since then. I confronted him, he said he is sorry and will never do it agian, but I think he saw someone today.

Did you stay with him? Did it get easier? Could you forgive him and forget it?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011):

break up with him, and then tell his wife that he's been cheating on her with two women. The poor woman deserve to know she's with a snake so she can cut her losses and kick him out.

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A female reader, Drat001 United Kingdom +, writes (31 December 2010):

Oh, geeze, people, this isn't karma. This is something called poetic justice. You have a relationship with a guy who is cheating on someone to be with you, and now you're upset because he's not cheating on you to be with someone else? Serves you right. Sorry to be harsh, but you deserve to be cheated on if you're with a married man. You obviously had no sympathy for the woman he was cheating on to be with you. Why should you deserve any sympathy because he's now cheating on you? Get over it, and stop dating married men if you don't want to be used!

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A female reader, xanthic United States +, writes (21 June 2010):

xanthic agony auntThis is karma telling you to wake up and move on. It doesn't matter how long you stay with him, there's always going to be someone else. Why give him all of yourself when you're now only getting a third in return?

Something like this is exactly why women should turn and run the second they find out the man showing interest in them is married.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010):

What did you expect? You are having an affair with a MARRIED man. He is not faithful to his wife,what in the world made you think he would be faithful to you? I think you need to seriously reconsider your life and the choices you have made in it.

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A male reader, rooster69 Canada +, writes (18 June 2010):

What did you expect, remember, you are both cheating on his wife!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010):

your hurt that your married BF is cheating on you?

sucks to be cheated on doesnt it....so why are you with him, isnt that cheating on his wife? or is it ok if your the one benefiting from an affair? i hope you end up marrying a guy who cheats on you.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (17 June 2010):

chigirl agony auntGet out of the relationship with this man, that is what you need to do. He will never be yours and you will only continue to be hurt.

Find a man who wont cheat.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010):

So basically hes nt satisfied with 2 girls he needs 3? well they do say love is blind . hes a jerk get rid of him

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A female reader, maxxie United States +, writes (16 June 2010):

maxxie agony auntwhat did you really expect? if he disrespects his wife he will disrespect you as well. cheating men have no respect for women, to him you are just an extracurricular activity and it seems like he has a new toy. please love yourself woman, i bet you are a smart, lovely lady and you deserve a man who will love and please you and no one else. best wishes, dump his a$$

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (16 June 2010):

olderthandirt agony auntI'm shocked! A guy that's left his marriage bed to fool around is foolin' around on the girl he's been foolin' around with...he must be a fool; Run to the hills and find a "real relationship".

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A female reader, mystiquek United States +, writes (16 June 2010):

mystiquek agony auntSeriously...what were you expecting? Did you REALLY think he would be faithful to you? You are just a pleasant diversion to him, the dessert..and guess what? Now he's found a new flavor! Its sad but true, and if you are smart, you will drop him like a hot coal cause honey, he ain't gonna leave his wife and his happy little home for you...all those times he was with you..how do you think his wife felt? NOW you know. Get some backbone, get some pride, and GET OUT! He'll never be yours, because there will always be another new and more exciting flavor for him to try..just around the corner. My best friend waited 10 years for a married man...there was always some excuse..some reason why he couldn't leave his wife. Guess what? 20 years later he's STILL married to his wife! My friend FINALLY got smart and found a man who was available to her, and ONLY her. I suggest you do the same. Sure it hurts, I know it must..but you are not doing yourself any favors by waiting around for him. PLEASE see the situation for what it really is. He's using you..maybe he does love you, but not enough to leave his home. GET OUT!

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A female reader, BunnyTee United States +, writes (16 June 2010):

BunnyTee agony auntNow who would've saw that coming? A cheater cheating on you? What's the chances of that happening? For crying in a bucket, Poster! What did you expect? Now, he should man up and walk the straight and narrow?

You are SO barking up the wrong tree!

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (16 June 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntKarma's a high-riding bitch, ain't she!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010):

I'm sorry to say this but what goes around comes around. And of course you've heard the expression "once a cheater always a cheater". Get your life straight. Start over as hard as that may be. Good luck

NightFairy

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A female reader, raiders United States +, writes (16 June 2010):

raiders agony auntYour jealous because he has a new lover...now imagine what the wife must feel.

His wife the women he married and promised her to be faithful must now share her husband with not one but two women.

He made no promises to you why were you expecting him to be faithful.

Can't you see this man is just a cheater, and will probably leave you before he leaves wife, he hasn't left her and it has been 6 years now. He might leave you before he leaves his new found love. Are you going to keep on wasting your youth, your life, your time waiting for him.

Please be smart, be selfish and think on you. Don't invest more time on this looser.

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A female reader, busy04 United States +, writes (16 June 2010):

busy04 agony auntHe's a cheater. You can't stop that. You can't change a cheater. He's cheating on his wife...not on you or any other woman. The affair you have with him is just an affair, not a relationship. And if you can feel that way about him "cheating" on you, think about how his wife feels or will feel.

You need to move on & do better. For the better of yourself & respect of his WIFE.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (16 June 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntWow. Six years, when you could have been with a guy who would be faithful just to you. A guy who wasn't already cheating on his wife? Wow.

If you leave him now, you won't be writing back here a year from now, saying that it's seven years that you've been with this same man and now he's having a fling with someone else. Then eight. Then nine. Then a whole decade of your life, the only life you get (unless you believe in reincarnation, and then it's the only life you'll remember).

Why would you spend so many years with a man who can't be with you every night, who can't share the holidays, who can't be openly with you? Why do you accept this kind of treatment? Do you think you aren't deserving of better?

It may hurt, but when you are in your later years, you will realize you've made the right choice to leave this cheating, lying man now. No matter how much you love him, you should love yourself more. Sorry, but it's true, you're throwing pearls before swine here, and it is such a waste. So sad.

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A female reader, Elydiese United Kingdom +, writes (16 June 2010):

I dont really think you can judge since you're cheating with him as well, get rid of him if he's not willing to give up his wife and this other woman then he obviously doesnt care much about you

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (16 June 2010):

Why are you even involved with this man? In 6 years, he's not left his wife for you. He never will. And he's not cheating on you at all. You're the mistress, you're not his wife. He's cheating on his wife. Do you not see that you're being used? He doesn't love you at all. He just loves himself. You need to end this affair now and move on from him, or this will be your life. He will never leave her, and will just use woman as he pleases.

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