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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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Why are men turned on by fake women?
Q. Okay, so I just thought I'd ask a question about men's taste in women when it comes to sexual desire. You see the adult magazines, and the women in them look nasty.. Fake boobs, overly tanned, slutty, what is it that men find sexually arousing by ...
A. 30 July 2010: That's an excellent question. I'm a man and I don't understand the facination in fake tits either. They feel fake they don't bounce like they should. They look like over inflated tires and so on. I can only see one "need' for them as a ... (read in full...)
How do I improve my self-esteem, I hate my looks??
Q. I hate myself, because I feel ugly and disgusting. I'm not fat and people say I look ok, but average is not enough for me. I don't know what to do. Everytime I see a beautiful woman, I get depressed. So yes, I'm constantly depressed, every day, ...
A. 2 July 2010: My young friend, Everyone hates the way they look! Trust me no one but maybe the Hollywood set thinks they are "just right" You only need to work on your inner beauty because that is the ONLY thing that counts...self esteem is for the efite snobs ... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and kissed my 25 year old manager!
Q. I'm 17 years old, 18 in one month,and my manager is just 25. I have worked for him for 6 months and never thought anything would come of it but just recently a few people from work went out for drinks (a few too many) and me and my manager ended up ...
A. 2 July 2010: Be REAL careful here my friend, you may be a victum of assault just relax and play it cool for a long time. Be very careful to give NO mixed messages and be sure you keep very detailed records of this activity quotes and everything don't become the ... (read in full...)
Crap...Our first fight... How do I handle this?
Q. I don't really like having my heart on my sleeve because I don't want to be vulnerable...my guy doesn't mind expressing himself at all...we had our first fight this morning and this shocked me because we usually get along so well. Relatives came ...
A. 2 July 2010: don't get all cramped up it's probably no big deal..he's just feeling hurt(yes we guys have feelings too)now he's got to pout about it 'cause he does not know how to talk it out yet. breathe!... (read in full...)
We've tried everything and I still cant orgasm!
Q. I can't orgasm. Plain and simple. We've tried everything. Oral, intercourse, fingering, vibrators, lube, anal. He even bought the mother of all vibrators. The stupid thing wouldn't go in. I was wet ready to go. So we poured a ton of lube on it. S...
A. 2 July 2010: Relax young lady, If readingthe Karma Sutra alone and using your own hans won't work then he certainly can't help you. I know most women don't like porn but you might be one of the few that do so lube up and watch some porn. good Luck. R.... (read in full...)
Stories of my wife's past have really hurt me, what can I do to get over this?
Q. i m 37 yrs old male, my wife hurt me by telling her old love story, i feel really pain and i can't forget that, what can i do to over come this?...
A. 2 July 2010: Been thee/done that... I had to just block it all out. It's always going to be there in the back of your mind but it just isn't worth fretting over or you'll drive yourself nuts. Try to remember no matter what happened with others she finally ... (read in full...)
How can it be love if they need to be drunk to have sex?
Q. Is someone really in love with you when the only time they have sex with you is when they are drunk?...
A. 2 July 2010: No but it might be better than when they're not. you may never know. Drinking lowers inhibitions. maybe he(or she) is a very inhibited person that's been raised in a limiting invironment.;i.e. made to feel guilty about sexual thoughts or actions. ... (read in full...)
He says the problems in our relationship are my fault!
Q. Last night my partner really made me feel like a terrible person. We have had a lot of stress since we moved back in together, his son, money, lack of job (on his part) his mother being an alcoholic, my own chronic illness. He has seemed to just get...
A. 1 July 2010: If you haven't considered divorce maybe you might think it over. You must take care of yourself first then consider others. it soundslike you're on the brink of a breakdown and need rest. Your situation as you describe it appearsto be in a ... (read in full...)
Am I in love? Or just comfortable?
Q. I've come to the stage in life where i'm wondering whether i'm in love with my boyfriend or just comfortable in our relationship. The thought of breaking up with him tears me apart at some times, but at others I feel like I want a relationship with ...
A. 30 June 2010: I think you are experiencing what we all feel after the 'newness" of a romantic relationship begins to wane. There is always thethrill of the encounter stage then the fast breath of the sexual stage but then there is an "aftrglow" that by ... (read in full...)
From "Too Good to be True" to not answering my calls. Help!
Q. I have been dateing this guy of the late 3 months. when i met him I questioned why he wanted to date me. He has dated lots of beautiful women and is Friends with pro football players and nba players Me im just the girl from the neigborhood. I just ...
A. 30 June 2010: You sound like such a sweet young person, It's sad to see that you were hurt like this but i think yout initial instincts may have been a red flag for you. You say you felt "unworthy" (my word not yours) but your instincts might have been really ... (read in full...)
My husband chooses porn over sex!
Q. i am 24 years old and i've been with my husband for nearly 3 years. when we met i knew he liked porn, but it wasnt a problem for me at that time because we were having sex. but soon i became pregnant and the sex stopped. Even long after having my ...
A. 30 June 2010: First; porn is just fantasy so you can't be jealous of something that's not real. and second; perhaps you've just not provided for his "needs" Men have completly diferent "needs" than women. Women seem to "need" cuddling and goo-goo talk while ... (read in full...)
Suggestions needed on how to stimulate my guy??
Q. My boyfriend wants me to try new things involving foreplay. He doesn't want to have to tell me what to do because he gets the feeling like he is training me and that is just wrong. I'm fairly inexperienced and I don't know much about what stimulates ...
A. 29 June 2010: If you can, get a copy of the Kama Sutra or read abut Tantric sex via the internet..you'll get a lesson on pleasure.... (read in full...)
I cant bring myself to have sex with my boyfriend anymore because he looks at other women
Q. I just read this quote on this website as a reply to one of the questions about porn: "Men are a thousand times more visual than we are. We just have to grin and bear it, and move on to bigger problems like they often say." My issue...is that it IS ...
A. 29 June 2010: UR definetly right that all guys do it(look at other women) just be yourself and he'll look less and less at them and more and more at you. Even us older guys can't help but to ghave fantasy sex. the we "come to and realize it's a dream. hang in... (read in full...)
My man doesn't want to watch porn WITH me, only behind my back. Should I be worried?
Q. My man watches porn online while im sleeping or not home. I have asked him nicely to only watch it with me as a couple, but he still does it behind my back. Should i be concerned? Is he loosing interest in me?...
A. 29 June 2010: I know it would be very embarrassing for me to have anyone watch what I like. It's a private thing-sharing your deepest fanasy with the one you love would be hard to do... (read in full...)
True Love: Fact or Fiction?
Q. Let me tell you a story. When I was a little girl I used to pretend that I was a princess who was awaiting prince charming. He was always the picture perfect man: tall, lean, stunning, poetic, and the type of guy who'd sweep you off your feet. I...
A. 29 June 2010: wow, I am impressed, he's a lucky guy... (read in full...)
Poll: Best sex - was it with an ex or current partner?
Q. So ladies...taking a poll here cuz I'm curious. When it comes to the best sex you've had, was it with your current (final) partner or with a previous partner? By "best", I mean the most sexually satisfying or intense (most mind blowing, most ...
A. 29 June 2010: noe I know this is a "ladys only type question but I'm a voyour and curious so I read the question and am interested in the answers so pardon me for butting in but I know the answer my wife would give and it would be her previous partner(if she was ... (read in full...)
He trades pictures with women and masterbates too often to be intimate with me!
Q. my longtime boyfriend masterbates so often now it is getting in the way of our sex life, he is using porn to view other females and i have found pictures of him in the act on his computer, he said he did trade some with some ladies but never met any ...
A. 28 June 2010: masturbation is sometimes much more pleasant that having a "relationship encounter" There is baggage with the "relationship and none with self love..joinhim and sit accross from him to watch each other..it's a trip.... (read in full...)
Why are men turned on by fake women?
Q. Okay, so I just thought I'd ask a question about men's taste in women when it comes to sexual desire. You see the adult magazines, and the women in them look nasty.. Fake boobs, overly tanned, slutty, what is it that men find sexually arousing by ...
A. 28 June 2010: AS if women don't get all wet and bothered over the biker dude with a fat wallet and a 10-inch dong? Now there's your fake man... (read in full...)
I don't mind my husband watching porn but I feel so disappointed in what I have found on our PC
Q. My husband of 50 resently got this sick mind of watching the music DVD of "Cameltoe" over and over everytime im at work. On our pc at home i found on the history that he was watching it just after he woke up (he was working nigh shift)at 10H25 and ...
A. 28 June 2010: You might have to face facts , porn is here to stay even if there was no computer porn; The most powerful form of porn is in the brain...and you;ll never be able to control what a man thinks although most women want to have that control(in my ... (read in full...)
Is this sort of spree common in girls?
Q. My girlfriend has had sex with 6 people. I'm lucky number 7. While this number doesn't concern me too much, the fact that five of these people were within a 6 month period does give me pause. this occurred her last 6 months of college after ...
A. 28 June 2010: Back when I was in college it was fairly routine for a gal to go bonkers for a short time...but it does not last very long. they soon become celabat (guilt?) By the time you've been married a couple of years...it's all over so enjoy it while you ... (read in full...)
Anal sex straight into my mouth--will I get sick?
Q. So embarressing but I have to know... My boyfriend and I were drunk and had anal and in the heat of the moment I sucked his dick straight out of my bum. I don't want to get sick. Should I take any medication or precautions? Don't worry, I don't pl...
A. 28 June 2010: nothing to worry over except e-coli. but you'd have gotten sick right away like the next day... (read in full...)
The only thing that arouses him is thinking about threesomes!
Q. i have been together with my husband for 8 years, married for 2. we have 2 children, 1 from a previous relationship. in the first years of our relationship he suggested a threesome so i tried it, part of me enjoyed it part of me didnt, i used to ...
A. 28 June 2010: You could( i suppose) buy an inflatable thied party(yuck( or you could file for divorce.... (read in full...)
Violent end to an argument this morning, what do I do?
Q. i have to ask this question, even though i know what people will reply. really early this morning my partner of 7 years and i had an argument, i was getting ready for work, and we argued, which basically led to him hitting me on the head with a m...
A. 28 June 2010: The ONLY way you should stay is if you really enjoy being beaten to death because that is what is going to happen before you know it. Call the cops, report the S.O.B. and move as far away as possible. All of us will say a prayer for you tonight.... (read in full...)
I accidentally told my husband's family that he abused me and now everythings messed up, how can I fix this?
Q. Hi. My husband recently has gotten a little physcally abusive, and has forced blow jobs on my a couple of times when he was drunk.. I guess I wanted to get it off my chest, but I was just going to deal with it. I already forgave him. But then las...
A. 27 June 2010: Anyone that physically abuses his wife or girlfriend ( in my book0 should be exposed for what they are. Like a rotch when the lights are turn on. they run and cower in the corner. You did right now get out of the relationship before a forced BJ ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my boyfriend to be with this guy who seems to be far more compatible with me?
Q. Hi. This is going to be really long so please bare with me and i appreciate any help! ive got a boyfriend and weve been going out for 2 years. we re really happy and close to each other and he is so nice to me. But we disagree on alot of things t...
A. 27 June 2010: It all depends on what your heart says to you not what be left in the past. don't let the potential hurt to BF 1 influence what you feel for BF 2. BF 1 will put his life back together quicker than you might think. What you do now should be what ... (read in full...)
Why does he ignore me for porn, when I'm perfectly willing?
Q. Hello, I seem to be having problems with my boyfriend and have no clue what to do. We have been dating for nearly a year now. Deep down, I know he's a good man, but for reasons I cannot understand, he prefers watching porn instead of doing anythin...
A. 26 June 2010: it might hurt to think of breaking up but it may hurt worse if he trys out some of the things hes "learning on the net... (read in full...)
My wife had sex with her cousin and wants a divorce
Q. My wife a couple months ago found out her cousin on the other side of the country had cancer and wanted to go see him. Well they were never close but I didnt understand why but I let her go, she came back a week later and started fighting afterwar...
A. 26 June 2010: The only agvenue left for you is the road to freedom. pack up your good stuff and take the first train out of Dodge.... (read in full...)
Should I write a letter to end things with him? Or just forget about it?
Q. Hi I had dated this guy and because of some things on both our parts , we kind of broke up. I tried very hard to work things out but he would always be mean to me, so I decided to accept that he didn't want the relationship back, but everytime I ...
A. 26 June 2010: I'd write a very long detailed letter and at the bottom id put cc: chief of police local substation. you don't need to actually send a cc but it'll let him think the cops are watching out for you assuming it really is as bad and potentiall ... (read in full...)
My husband wants an open marriage, I don't
Q. my husband after 7 years of marriage wants and open marriage meening he wants to ahve sex with other women and i CAN HAVE SEX WITH OTHER MEN IM NOT OK WITH THAT WHAT DO i DO?...
A. 25 June 2010: wow another "7-year itch" story. I'm not sure if he's guilty for something he has done or something he wants to do but i'd sure stick to monogomous... (read in full...)
My sister always embarrasses me in front of my family!
Q. My sister always has to tell embarrassing stories about me when we have family events. One time I had my friends over and forgot to open the flue on the fireplace. (My parents came home and managed to open it up, so everything was fine.) But then on ...
A. 25 June 2010: I have two (2 many) sisters and they are relenless also it's their job to drive the big brother nuts. Shows equality or something- I love them anyway in spite of themselves. DO NOT BURN ANY BRIDGES my friend they are your only link to the past!... (read in full...)
Excessive masturbation?
Q. [Mod note: OP's title] Hello, I have a problem with masturbation. I do it really often and I get turned on pretty easily. I am not sure of this healthy. Could you please tell me how many times per week is fine, health-wise? Any doctors...
A. 25 June 2010: Can't see a downside unless you're doing it in public which would be wrong you know/... (read in full...)
Do I tell him that I'm not a virgin?
Q. I just want to ask dat im nt a virgin, should i tell my boy friend about my secret b'coz we r planning to get married.Sometimes, i feel dat i should tell him the truth b'coz i feel embarrace dat i m not loyal to him.. Plz suggest me. Thanx.....
A. 25 June 2010: Right, the cultural side of this dilema is punctuated by the others that have answered, In our culture it's more "acceptable" to have had sex with others bfore marriage. I'm not sure that is a good thing though. I'd like to think the wedding night ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel like I'm settling?
Q. Why is it when we're in a happy relationship we still question, is there any one better out there for us? We get the feeling that we're settling. Which is all well and good but what if we throw away what we had and end up with nothing. Is this the ...
A. 24 June 2010: Happiness is a fleeting sensation. We all feel like there a better mate and/or situation just around the corner. But, after 66 years of life I can say,"it's true wha tey say; you never know how good you have it until you lose it. IF IIT made you ... (read in full...)
Any men on DC who don't like porn?
Q. *OP's Original Title* Are there any men on DC who don't watch porn? Or never have? If so, why not? Ii'd like a tally please. I've only ever met one man who doesn't. ...
A. 24 June 2010: I don't any more. I used to a lot but it seemd to bother my wife( I'll neve understand that) In order to keep her from being hurt by it, I gave up my vice. Too much invested(46 years) to just throw it away over images on a computer screen.... (read in full...)
My husband will not have sex with me
Q. This is difficult for me to accept because I have always consider myself a hot person, very confident, and very comfortable with my physique, but in the past year my confidence level has gone done a notch. I'm married and I am sexual and I wan...
A. 24 June 2010: I have two thoughts; 1. feelings of guilt(who knows why- it doesn't mean another women) 2.Low testostorone(see a doc if he will). Whateveryou do do not look at it as your problem- you probably did nothing wrong so chill. That guilt thing could be ... (read in full...)
Am I in a dangerous relationship or am I over-reacting?
Q. Im starting to worry about my boyfriends behavior and it he has the potential to become abusive in the future with our relationship. we have been dating for about 3 months. he is almost twenty and im sixteen. he always wants to be with me. we hang ...
A. 24 June 2010: It sounds like you're trying desperatly to have someone help you rationalize the situation but the truth may set you free and even save your life9who knows) He's emotionally unstable(it sounds like to me) You need to get as far away from this ... (read in full...)
I tried to give him my virginity, but couldn't. Now he won't text me anymore!
Q. hi, i am chelsea... well i went to my friends house and i met her cousin jake. we had been talking for the past month on myspace but we really hadnt met. he seemed very sweet and he used to txt me everyday first. well we talked about the day i was ...
A. 24 June 2010: Dear Ms Chelsea, Be glad very glad you're still a virgin. You only have that once and it should be cherished until the wedding night. Here's why from a guy's perspective; If he realizes on that first night that you've been with another man he ... (read in full...)
I do not want to play second fiddle!
Q. Hello - i am new here, i am going through a very complicated situation and i need advice. I know this seems so wrong but i really need constructive comments. We met four years ago and we always get along very well but as we do not live in the same...
A. 24 June 2010: I got to agree with "caring guy" Your place as second fiddle is kind of secure as long as you pretend to have two "meaningfull" relationships one of them will mean less to him than the other. I'm afraid we're wired to be true to one and two is ... (read in full...)
How can I help support my boyfriend and rebuild his confidence?
Q. Alright so my boyfriend(23) and I(20) have been together for a while and love each other very much. We have been having sexual intercourse but have been having issues..he can't seem to keep his erection. His doctor has said that it may be a reaction ...
A. 24 June 2010: Here's a thought; my buddy had prostate surgery some years ago and was therby rebdered impident. He and his wife of many years webt through the same sort of issues regarding intercourse. Then they dicovered that she actuslly was better satisfied by ... (read in full...)
Going to a party and need ideas on how to get a guy to notice me!
Q. I am going to a party this weekend and i need ideas on how to make a guy notice you. I like a boy in my grade and he says he will ask me out but he hasn't yet! I need to make him ask soon... Any ideas?...
A. 23 June 2010: Your question reminds me of an old joke. Girl wants a guy to like her but doesn't know how. She asks grandpa, He says; "Show up naked bring beer and don't block the TV." ha ha right. No I'm not suggesting anything like that. for my real ... (read in full...)
Why does he ignore me for porn, when I'm perfectly willing?
Q. Hello, I seem to be having problems with my boyfriend and have no clue what to do. We have been dating for nearly a year now. Deep down, I know he's a good man, but for reasons I cannot understand, he prefers watching porn instead of doing anythin...
A. 23 June 2010: First, It isn't about you so know that right away. Second, men develop a "special" relationship with porn. Porn is not demanding(not that you are) it doesn't need love it just is there to get off on vicariously. There's no personal interaction to ... (read in full...)
My husband says he isn't in love with me and it's tearing me apart!
Q. I don't know where to turn. My husband and I have been together for 9 years, and we have 3 kids(one is my teenage daughter from a previous relationship). We have a comfortable lifestyle and a nice home. We both have good jobs we enjoy, and I am so ...
A. 23 June 2010: I have seen this drama played out time after time and the wife ALWAYS gets hurt. I know there's kids involved and that's the really bad part but I think a divorce lawyer should be talked too. You have to think of you anf=d the kids above all else. ... (read in full...)
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