A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, i just dont know what to do. I am still heartbroken nearly 2 years down the line. I have tried to get over him. No contact, going out with friends. Pampering myself you know all these things, and yet I have a great empty hole in the pit of my stomach. Could someone please advice cause this is driving me insane. I dont put him on a pedistal cause he was by no means perfect, and neither am I! I wish I could wave a magic wand like in fairytales and be able to put this chapter behind me!Could some advice me in how they managed to get over their heartbreak pleasd.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2011): Thankyou for all your great advice and in a strange way is good to know im not the only one who has been living 24 months with heartache. I though it must of been some kind of record because others seem to move on quicker than me, but clearly im not alone x
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (6 December 2011):
 It was 50 years ago when my first love dumped me over the phone. The ache is still there. sorry no good news or magic elixer. There is Voldka though and that helped for a while.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): One thing I found is that moving on to someone else did not work for me but it made my ex even more determined he would not come back. It takes time and its been 3 years for me. Wish I could say there was a cure.
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female
reader, Krislis +, writes (6 December 2011):
Well well...
I have had a similar problem! Guys and girls are not worth being upset over! You have to think about the future and all the great things in your life, start fresh! Forget that this guy was in your life, you sadly can not take away any pain but you can move on from this and gain experience. When you have spare time dont spend it thinking of what could have or would have think about what will happen. Never let some one get in your way! You have plenty of time to meet other people and start fresh :)
Hope all goes well:)
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  +, writes (6 December 2011):
 If only someone could invent a magic pill that will make the heart ache go away..they would be a millionaire, wouldn't they? I always think of Star Trek and Spock, he could do something to erase your memory..if only there was such a thing!
I'm close to 3 years now, and there are times when the pain is still overwhelming..I still cry. Sadly, there is no cure sweetie. You can go out with friends, get a new hobby, sail around the world, date alot of people, try to keep yourself occupied every single waking moment...but the truth is, it does take time to heal. For some people, they can just move right on.I'm always amazed at that type of a person. How do they do it??? The rest of us can't. I still can't even imagine trying to date someone else. Its just the way that I am.
The best advice I can give is to accept what has happened, and make sure that you do go on living. Its alright to feel sad, cry, and sometimes think about what happened as long as you do not let the sadness take over your life! Remember to smile, laugh, and enjoy life ok? If you find yourself not being able to cope...PLEASE seek out counselling. Time does eventually heal a broken heart, but it doesn't happen over night and you will have setbacks. A certain song, a place, a movie, smell..whatever..anything can trigger memories, but do not forget to keep on living! Someday it won't hurt as much as it did, or does right now. I promise.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): I am in the same boat. It just takes time. You can not yell at a deep wound and tell it "Hurry up and heal already!"I am making some progress. There are better days and some days where I think I am slipping back into the blues.A few new things that helped was to write a loving letter to myself. I wrote what worked right in the relation, what was wrong, and what I learned. I also wrote what I would want in my next relationship and what I would bring to it and what I would leave behind.I also focus my time, attention and affection on those who really want and enjoy it. While I am not in a romantic relationship at the moment; I have a deeper appreciation for family, friends, and the little kindnesses people bring to me that often go overlooked when you are googly moogly in love with someone. I purposely took this last year off from dating to learn how to fall in love with myself again. I felt like I really settled in my last relationship because I was lonely. I had to learn to address what made me lonely. The entire time I was dating the last bf, I kept thinking "Is this really what I want?" and "Is this the best I could do?". I wanted more, but I did not really believe I deserved better. There is still repair I need to do on me, but now I can walked out there again KNOWING what I want, that I do not have to settle, that having someone in my life does not make me a better person, and that I do deserve love and kindness from another person. Yeah, Im nervous to be vulnerable again. I sometimes look back at the love I lost, but I can not see my future if I keep looking back.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (6 December 2011):
 You have to make a personal decision to be happy. That is the secret. You have to be aware that, in a way, you are choosing to live in sadness, and then make the decision not to.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (6 December 2011):
 Yep.. sucks doesn't it.. your doing all the right things. Time and distance are the only thing that can heal. Have you tried dating again.. I know that's hard, but another man making you feel pretty helps a lot.
Wish I had better advice, but you learn to live with it and eventually it goes away. Heart doesn't have an on/off switch that we can press. My friend told me, that your heartache is and wonderful example of your ability to love, and it's a credit to you, and it's not much to do with him. So don't be upset because you hurt, you hurt because your able to love. One day you'll give your heart again to someone who is more suitable.
I'm at 5years.. and yep, the pain goes away, even if the love still remains.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (6 December 2011):
 Hi,
2 years? Me...15 mos... Lol :)
I did a lot of searching, read many articles, seek help in different ways.
You know what to do? You know what you should do? You know what needs to be done? You tried everything... Nothing works... I guess it's like people say: only time will heal all wounds...
The truth is that he's not hurting us, we are hurting ourselves... We are just stuck... It's frustrating... He's out living his life the fullest as if nothing happened, and we are here in pain?... What I can say is to just keep pushing yourself, be strong, be kind to yourself and allow the pain when you feel, and just be patience... Allow yourself to let go in our own time, in your own temrs, that way you won't feel disappointed or feel pressure... We are normal people and it's ok to feel this way... But, keep in mind, the sooner the better... Because life is too short to waste time feeling sorry and hurt. I hope o make sense....
Good luck / best wishes
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