A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it possible to stay married, not be love and avoid sex with husband all the time? Is there anyone here who has been in this situation? Please share your views and experience to help me.Many thanks.. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011): You arn't trying to stay married. You are trying to aggravate him into being the one who breaks it up so you can spare ypurself of the bame of a failed marriage and pretend it was his fault. Grow a pair and tell him yiu want to end it.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (2 December 2011):
 I've been on the other side.... a guy who was in a relationship with a woman who withheld love, intimacy and sex..... It's EXCRUCIATING.... and I endured it for 4 years... then said, "Enough" and left......
You can go ahead and see how long he will endure it... but I assure you that - in the end - you two will go your separate ways.....
Good luck....
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 December 2011):
 I don't know why not. mine did for 47 years so far.
...............................
A
male
reader, jusincole +, writes (2 December 2011):
I think that is impossible.Especially if the two of you is living in the same roof.But if you are going to control your emotion,the situation and the intimacy you can prevent yourself to make love all the time.but if your goal is to birth spacing and birth control maybe you should always have protection for you o be able to achieve that.In fact,Facebook friend requests are your online life's way of suggesting that you are well-liked, essential or have resources well worth exploiting. As marketing agencies like Brazil's AGE Isobar know, that source is cash. AGE Isobar and Olla Condoms teamed up for an ad campaign connected with Facebook friend requests directed at young men. The requests come from unborn kids. You are able to get more info at: http://www.newsytype.com/
...............................
A
female
reader, bluecow  +, writes (2 December 2011):
 Hiya
Looking at your country of origin i'm wondering if this was a forced marriage?
If so there are agencies out there who can help you escape (with your children if you have any)... however for many of these women it means losing contact with their family, who disown them due to the honor and shame of a divorce. Its not right, but it is what happens. For all of these ladies, losing their family is the price they are willing to pay in order to escape a forced marriage.
IF I have got the wrong end of the stick and this isnt a forced marriage and you have no intention of leaving then yes there are ways to avoid sex. Do you have a doctor who you could constantly complain about the pain of sex to? (e.g. PRETEND IT HURTS), until he says you should stop altogether? That way your husband will assume its a medical condition.
...............................
A
female
reader, sweetiebabes  +, writes (2 December 2011):
 Hi.
I am living in a country wherein majority are Indians and I have few friends where we shared culture and family values.
Since you are in a loveless marriage and you are unhappy, I feel the best way for you to do is vent your feelings to your Mom or family. I am unsure if you came from arranged marriage and if so, I cannot think of anything else who can help you but your family.
If you want to stay away in a loveless marriage as I feel you should really do be honest with them and tell them what you feel and how your husband made you feel, this way they may understand you. I know this will not be easy on your part because I believe in your culture, family's decision comes first and not yours but you have to let them understand.
Be strong and stand on what is right and best for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (2 December 2011):
why would you want to stay married like this?
yes it's possible to do what you ask - studies of surveys show lots of marriages are actually sexless but I think it's only a short term solution to whatever misery you're feeling now and it will create more problems in the long term. This is because people do have sexual needs, and even if they're being shut down towards your current spouse, it doesn't mean it's shut down for good. You'll probably some day feel stirrings for another man you may meet in the future. (people who are happy and fulfilled in their committed relationships are content whereas those who aren't, will be vulnerable to falling in love with "better" people than their spouses who they may meet in the future) Then what will you do then since you're already married? or your husband might get his 'needs' met elsewhere if you're not meeting them. How will this make you feel? Would it not be better to end the marriage than to have this happen?
so yes it's possible to do what you ask, but it's probably going to create more problems for YOURSELF in the long run because all humans, including you, do have sexual needs and intimacy/relationship needs and if it's not being fulfilled in the only legally and morally endorsed outlet you have now (i.e. through your marriage) then that leaves you and/or your husband no other option but to pursue something immoral or illegal in the future (going outside your marriage to get that need fulfilled) or live in deprivation. So you are potential putting yourself in a future double-bind situation if you choose to stay in this kind of marriage.
...............................
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (2 December 2011):
 Personally I don't think you should stay. Life is too short to be unhappy and unforefulled.
All the best I hope you get through the other side! :-)
...............................
|
