A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This is a question for the guys, girls feel free to answerMy question is, I'm dating this new guy, and his not like my other boyfriends, they were hard ...but this guy...he won't even get a hard wen we sit and I put my hand in his pants and rub his penis...he'l only get a hard if we start kissing but the minute we stop he goes al soft again! Help! Is there anyway that I can change that?or is that normal? I have another question but I will post that seperatly..
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female
reader, Tyedyedturtle  +, writes (13 December 2011):
 My current boyfriend doesn't get or stay as hard as my previous, so I see how this is frustrating and sometimes you can fall into the trap of believing it's because you aren't good enough. Don't do either of those! Stay positive, confident, and sexy. So essential to turning anyone on. My previous boyfriend would light up like a Christmas tree each time I would brush up against him while he was wearing pants. However, my current boyfriend is so different and at times hard for me to understand sexually. However, I've realized that some men need more than just a light touch to get them going. So here are a few things that worked with my boyfriend: Enthusiasm is everything. When I give him bedroom eyes and sexy glances that say I want him, he gets so excited. When I tell him how badly I not only want, but NEED him and his you know what, he goes wild. When he can see, hear, and feel how much I love turning him on and pleasing him, he has no problems getting hard or staying that way. Men tend to be visual creatures and, if I'm just sitting there in my clothes and touching him when he still is constricted by clothes, my boyfriend's arousal isn't very high. However, this works better: I strip off my shirt and then unbutton his pants while touching and kissing him. Then I take off his shirt and then my pants. Then I straddle him and take off my bra and then pull down his pants. All while kissing him on his lips, neck, and chest. The visual of me on top and topless usually drives him crazy. I often throw in sexy panties to drive him wild. He loves seeing my body and how I take charge. Sometimes arousal is more than straight stimulation. If all else fails, ask him what he likes or how he does it himself. Communication is key.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2011): HE may not want penetrative sex. So just keep the kissing going and maybe try some dry humping while kissing him.
Could be he has a mental block that may need to be addressed via counselling.
Either way, focus on what does work. Kissing. Its safe. Its hot. Exciting. More people should do that alone over other sexual activity.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (12 December 2011):
 We are all "wired" different. some folks ONLY get stiff after "going down" on the girl. We are all different.just keep trying different things.
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