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age
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writes: hey everyone I have bi polar disorder and depression and anxiety issues and paranoia...(yeah I know its a big nice gift right?) anyways...I am engaged to my fiance (obviously thats why hes my fiance lol) but lets see...a few months back I found a folded up condom wrapper on the floor near my kitchen....and Im wondering still what to think.I need someone honest with me and not just tell me things to shut me up or whatever...Ok well I unfolded the wrapper and it had tons and tons of white lines in it and it didnt feel like a new wrapper it wasnt shiny at all it was dull and felt weird on my fingers. I asked him about it and it said he didnt know where it came from I asked if it was his and he said "no babe" then i argued with him that he cheated on me and he said he didnt over and over again and he still swears he didnt.When I found that wrapper that day he asked ME if it was MINE! and I dont know what to think because he use to live in this apartment with his mom and he hasnt lived in this apartment for 2 yrs the apt was for the bank to take they filed bankruptcy on it and left it. So me and him lived in his moms house for awhile and moved in the apt. all teh furniture was left there I went up stairs in his old bed room and under that bed was about 5 old condom wrappers and i flipped out they were from his ex so i cleaned them up he put one wrapper he was holding from teh floor in his pocket and hugged me and explained everything.But months ago I go down starirs and find that wrapper. part of me says he didnt do it because he loves me and if he did cheat he would of left me because i accuse him alot and he could of left by now. He paid for a plane ticket from FL to NJ for me so he could be with me I was living with my mom and she was arrested for attacking me and etc...She shoved me in the truck when I was at teh hotel with him and she drove off she put the baby lock on the truck he called the police and my mom put me in the mental hospital telling them I was mentally handicapt and that I wanted to leave with him back to jersey and she told them I couldnt tie my shoes (which is lies) the police found out she was lying and arrested her for kidnapping he found me in the hospital and bough me clothes.Himself and his mom searched for me til 5 am in the morning and were up talking to the police. I got out in 3 days and they told me im fine I just am bi polar and that Im not handicapt and that im old enough to do what I want.He took me to eat and bought me clothes after that and then we went on the plane to NJ. And this event was when I was dating him for 4 months and he came to visit me the first time in FL. If he didnt care he would of left me there.He could of left me there with my mother but he put up with that crap for ME.he didnt leave me there. what do you guys think? Additional DetailsAlso, I have accussed him alot and he always proves me wrong.he shows me his work time card and anything iw ant to see. He is trying to get me a therapist. I have had a hard childhood which led to a shitty adulthood dealing with trust. My mother kept me from the world (I lived with her til I was 18 I just turned 19 ) My aunt says if he cheated he would of left me from all the fights I start over it he wouldnt stay and hear me *****. He says my bi polar disorder makes me believe in things that are not there. Which is true I make up scenarios in my head and"bleieve them"4 minutes ago
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bankrupt, cheated on me, condom, engaged, fiance, his ex, moved in Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011): considering that you're always accusing him and it ends up being wrong, chances are that right now this is all in your head too.
You need to get medical treatment ASAP for your bipolar and other issues. You're treating your fiance very badly and some day it WILL drive him away when he can't take it anymore. he cares about you enough that he wants you to see a therapist and get the help you need so that you can feel better. So, please get professional help before it's too late and he buckles under the abuse you regularly dish out to him.
A
female
reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (3 December 2011):
I think you need to get your bipolar disorder under control first, with medical treatment and therapy. Until you do, you won't feel any better no matter if the truth is that he didn't cheat on you. As long as your bipolar disorder and depression isn't effectively treated, you will continue to "make stuff up" in your mind and believe them so what the truth is - whether he cheated on you or not - is irrelevant to how you feel.
You also should get your bipolar disorder and depression treated effectively or it will destroy this relationship. You're fortunate that your bf is very caring and obviously loves you but dont' use his support and understanding and patience as a reason not to get treated to change your behavior positively. It's understandable that with your rough childhood you have a lot of issues, but still there's only so much emotional abuse your boyfriend can absorb from you before some day he will have had it. Right now he may still be OK with it but dont' count on him continuing to be OK with it years into the future if you continue accusing him and starting fights.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2011):
Condom wrappers aren't a figment of your imagination. If you believe his explanation for how it got there that is fine. Frankly, your whole question is so confused that I'm confused as to when all of this happened and how many condom wrappers were found. Are there other reasons besides this that you think he may be cheating?
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female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (2 December 2011):
It is possible that the wrapper he put in his pocket that day went through the wash, possibly more than once before it fell out on the floor?
It is also entirely possible that one of you accidentally tracked a condom wrapper into your home from outside on the bottom of your shoe.
I haven't had sex with a condom with my fiancée in well over a month, and about once a week I'll find another piece of a wrapper somewhere strange. The last one was the corner of a wrapper under the oven in the kitchen. I keep count of the condoms and know they're from us because the number has stayed the same. Even though I trust him, I am a bit crazy, I do become paranoid and knowing the count of condoms in the house and seeing it stay the same (or only change according to when we would use them when we were) helps reassure me that he isn't cheating, I'm in one of my weird states of mind, and I need to chill out.
On my own, it took close to five years to trust him. I am not bipolar, but have been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and ADHD. Our relationship has gotten so much stronger since I gave in and decided to trust him completely. I wish I had been able to do it sooner. If you can afford a therapist, I urge you to find one who can help you work on your trust issues. If you are not already, you may want to visit a psychiatrist about your past diagnosis.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 December 2011):
 See a doctor and get appropriate treatment for the bipolar disorder. It's my understanding that medication is necessary for people who have it. Get that sorted out FIRST, then you can revisit the trust issue.
Best wishes to you.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 December 2011):
 So, I have to assume it was not your wrapper. If so, you need to either have it out with him over it or leave this relationship before he just walks all over you for the rest of you life.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 December 2011):
 You know yourself that the condom wrapper was probably the same one he put in his pocket when you where clearing up the flat, no reason to flip out over that because at the end of the day it was from his ex and he was honest. However I can understand that you have a lot of issues going on in your life at the moment. Your boyfriend is right you need to get help for this relationship to work. It is great that he is sticking by you, because not many men would put up with there girlfriend constantly accusing them of cheating, but he can see that you need help. So get help as soon as you can before the relationship falls. There is only so much accusing that he will be able to take before he cracks and leaves you. So just remember that. To me it sounds like he loves you a lot. So cherish that. Focus on the positive things and go and get help before it is to late. Good luck.
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