A
female
age
36-40,
*helly201011
writes:i have been with this man for five years, this is our second break up. what led to our break up was he started doing more drinking and smoking weed. he has never done this before. it seems like when we got back together for the second time is when i noticed he has picked up this habit. not only that, he has became more addicted to sex, coming home the next day or late that night, hanging out with other women and bringing them to the house, it almost felt as though he became distant from me and i didn't no why, i did everything for this man, cooked clean, gave him money took care of our kids,but i felt like nothing was ever good enough for him. he became more abusive towards me, i mean he would hit me like i was a man. he would accuse me of cheating on him when in fact it was him who was doing the dirty work. till this day he still don't understand why i left him. since i left him, i did cut off contact for a while, until he started getting all emotional on me, telling me and threatening he would self harm or he will leave the country, just tell me things to play with my head, then he says he still loves me and cares for me but doesn't want to be with me. i feel misled because he still wants to be able to hangout with me, not only that he is begging me to be his friend. its kind of hard giving the fact that he abused me and never said sorry. i ended spending time with him, one thing lead to another, when we are spending time he wants to hold me and kiss me then we end up having sex, but after that he becomes a different person, he acts like he don't want nothing else to do with me after i gave him what he wants which is sex. so after i did that for the 5th time it finally hit me that he doesn't want me but only for my sex, i was fooled by his kind words, he had me thinking that he actually cared for me like we can work this out, i mean we was doing some of the stuff that we were doing when we was together. i just don't know what to do he is hot one minute and cold the next. i want to cut him off but i love him, but i know i deserve better than what he is giving me.
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female
reader, Crazykatee  +, writes (18 December 2011):
I was in same boat, but he didnt smoke weed or drink, best thing i eva did was cut all ties and start ova!! He stalked me so i move frm my hometown to 70 miles away and he followed, i got the police to remove him, then i moved bk to my hometown and i told him no! Since i stud up to him and told him no to everyfin, hes left me alone!! Wat u gotta relise is this man is usin ur emotional strings and pullin em, tellin u wat u wanna hear, remindin u off the good times and sayin sorry! Fact is he doesnt mean it!! Thats him playin mind games to control u and get u to do as he says!! Ive bin threw this, i no how hard it is, i no ppl tell u and u cnt do it cuz u love him etc, yeh ul hurt cuz of how u feel for this jerk, but no u shudnt b with him, u shud b goin out havin fun, not bein used as a punch bag!! I wish u luck and its ur choice, my advice is- dnt even give this guy ur time of day!! Leave him to smoke weed and get paranoid!! Also weed causes paranoid, so does cheatin, he wil neva trust u cuz he cheats himself!! Have nufin to do with him!! Send him to rehab!!
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (18 December 2011):
 He's a piece of S____; therefore what do you do? Out of self-defense you need to escape..leave the state,start over,don't look back!
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (18 December 2011):
 Everyone has a limit as to what they can take from a relationship, i've hit that limit in my situation, but i don't think you're quite there yet. If you really want to walk away, he needs to know why you are walking away. He needs to realise that he has done wrong, and you're not going to stand for it anymore.
After you have told him this, you need to be strong, block his number or change yours so he can't contact you, change your email address and stick to your guns. Fill your life with friends, family and hobbies to keep you busy. It may take some time, but you can't change this guy, so you need to do whats best for you.
Good luck! :)
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A
female
reader, Freyja +, writes (18 December 2011):
You love this man, yes. But he has not only physically hurt you, he emotionally manipulates you, still. Because he knows he can get away with it!Be firm with him. Do not keep having sex with him. You broke up with him for a reason, tell him that reason then get away. You will feel so much better for it. Don't be with him alone, take a trusted friend.Remember if things get out of hand that the police are only a phone call away. Keep us posted. x
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (18 December 2011):
 No man who ever hit you is worth a damn.
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