A
female
age
30-35,
*averick494
writes:My close friend of mine is carrying a lot of baggage. She's been to a psychologist, a shrink, has borderline and a handful of other mental disorders (written down on what she calls her "declaration of insanity). Anyway, despite all this she's a good friend to have and she doesn't drag you down with her problems. That is the problem, actually. Recently, she's had some health problems (physically) and it's like she vanished from the face of the earth. She had a gay relationship that ended badly and now I barely hear from her. We are at the same University and her grades are bad, despite me helping her. So she's got a lot on her plate. Anyway, I've sent her texts, called her, sent e-mails (all scattered over the last 2 weeks) and I haven't got word back. She is active on Twitter (though sporadically), but she's not making much sense. I'm worried about her. She has cut herself in the past and though she's been good for months, I'm afraid she's fallen off the bandwagon again. I know of other people who completely vanish when they're not doing well, only to resurface months later, sometimes not at all. I don't want to lose her, but I don't want to push her either. So what do I do? I want to help, but I don't know how.
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female
reader, Myrrh  +, writes (22 June 2010):
 Yes i though a visit in person might not work out very well. Sometimes when people step out of life like that...they really do want to be alone and find it intrusive if friends dont respect their wishes. Its difficult isnt it! You sound like a very understanding friend. I hope she reappears soon.
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (22 June 2010):
maverick494 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your insight. I will send her a card. There isn't much else I can do short from showing up on her doorstep out of the blue. I've considered it, but if she really wants to be alone it is only going to be counterproductive, I figured. Hallmark, here I come!
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A
female
reader, Myrrh +, writes (21 June 2010):
Hi. If your friend has decided to step out of her life for awhile, theres not really a lot you can do. Sometimes when people have a lot to cope with, they withdraw and focus on whats bothering them. Hopefully shes just having some alone time to get herself well again. As youve tried making contact via phone and internet to no avail. Try a more personal route. Maybe send her a card. Just mention that you are missing her company. Keep the message simple and just wait to hear back. Im sure she will be in touch as soon as she feels well again x
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