A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay this is a weird story and question but here it goes. When my brother was 16 he got this girl pregnant and she was 22 at the time (which i find very gross). No one in my family knew the child or even the girl for that matter existed until the baby was 3 weeks old. I was only 12 at the time and didnt really understand. My parents never got a DNA test because they didnt know this girl and didnt want to make her mad so they could never see their grandson. Well now its 7 1/2 years later. I find out that my nephews mom is one of the biggest hoes on the planet. She got pregnant again (not by my brother) and now that baby is 1 years old. I found out that she had to go through four differant guys in order to find the father. Sad i know, she is disgusting. She ruined my brothers relationship with a girl that was 10 times better then her and then she goes and get knocked up on a one night stand and cant figure out who the father is. Anyways, then i also find out that there was another guy that she was sleeping with when she got pregnant with my nephew, a guy with the same name as my brother. I thought the whole other guy was made up at first. But, he's a real person. She told my brother that she got a DNA test and the other guy wasnt the father and that if she was going to lie she would have picked this other guy because he had a lot of money and was older than my brother. Come to find out, this other guy was a BIG FAT loser! He had three kids and no job and his wife or girlfriend was leaving him. (my brother doesn't know any of this). I think she took one look at my parents house and said "thats my baby's daddy." Now to get to my point. I tryed to get my mom to get a DNA test because my nephew looks nothing like my family and acts nothing like my family, but she wouldn't. I wouldnt think of him any less of my nephew, but i just need to know how big of a lier this women really is. Should I get the test done my self take some hairs from them? Or is that crossing a line that is none of my business. Its just i feel angry after i found out all the things she lied about. I would keep it to my self, but i would just like to know. Is it wrong to be curious?
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male
reader, rivi +, writes (15 June 2010):
A majority of the males here - incl this one - think you should get the DNA testing done; esp if the boy doesn-t look anything like your bro..
Also I can tell that now you have this idea in your head you won-t be able to let it go till you-ve satisfied your curiosity - so get on with it !
But do it secretly : you can get hair samples easily enough from the lad and I think your own DNA should be ok to see if you are related - ask the lab.
If it turns out he is the dad no harm done and your mind is at rest: if he-s not then the knowledge is important for the boy as well as your brother. If the bro has already bonded fully with the boy then he could still continue as a kind of adoptive dad and you as adoptive aunt.... but with the truth out in the open.
Sounds like the little boy really needs your bro and you in his life so I am assuming the DNA result won-t affect that ?
A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (11 June 2010):
 I guess it's about what you think is right at the time, and what you're willing to live with. So it's your decision. Personally, I don't think you should do this because it could backfire. If it turns out that the boy is your brother's son, and someone finds out that you took some hair samples (or whatever), you could be in serious shit.It might be best to remain silent and do nothing. But good luck with whatever decision to choose to make.
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (11 June 2010):
I agree with Yos. Absolutely.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (11 June 2010):
 I'm going to disagree with the other aunts.
Get the test done, but don't tell anyone you are doing it. If it turns out to be his, then never mention you did it.
But if it turns out not to be his, then you should tell him.
The truth is important, even if it's uncomfortable.
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A
female
reader, WhisperingSounds +, writes (11 June 2010):
 I wouldn't try to take the DNA test. If your brother loves the boy and cares for it, his or not, then you wouldn't want to hurt him even more. It is the whores fault that she doesn't know who her baby's daddy is. If things start getting more out of control I would do the DNA test, even the child may not be his and the brother loves the child, maybe it's best to just let him do his thing.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (11 June 2010):
I get why you're pissed. The thing is, this is out of your control. You can throw yourself into this mess with the noblest intentions and noone will be happy because of it. Instead of concentrating on the woman, why not think of this kid he thinks he's the father of? Your brother is probably the only good thing that happened in his life and if a test turns out he is not the father, the kid is stuck with his slutty mom and her weekly diet of one night stands. Do you want to do that to him?So keep yourself out of this. Your brother made the mistake of sleeping with her, now he's paying the price. If he plays his cards right he can be a father to the kid and get himself a good girlfriend. You said the woman ruined his relationship, but the other side is that he let it be ruined. He needs to pick up after himself and learn from whatever is thrown at him. Hell, maybe he can get custody of the child and just get out of her life. Besides all this I highly doubt you could get a test done.
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (11 June 2010):
 She may be a slut, but what good would come of this if you found out the baby is not your brother's? The other possible father as you say, is a loser. What chance would the child have for a good life if everyone finds out, in addition to his mom being a slut, his dad is a loser? Yes, you say you would treat him the same, but everyone would definitely look at things differently after that.
What's done is done. I know you are just looking after your brother, but sometimes doing what is right is doing what is best. This kid has the best chance being around your family. There's no need to complicate things anymore and stoop to the mom's level.
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A
female
reader, Myrrh +, writes (11 June 2010):
 Hi. Im not sure you could even have a DNA test done. Its really between your brother and his ex. I can understand you feeling angry that this older woman led him astray at an early age and brough so much trouble. But you have to remember your brother was willing to have sex with her. He has to share some blame for not being sensible. If there had been an accident and he was a blameless victim if would be different. But he knowingly jumped into bed with this woman and didnt bother using any protection. You can only tell him what you have discovered about this woman and ask him if he will do a test. It sounds as if you hate this woman and want her out of your lives but the decision to do the test has to be your brothers.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): You only have evidence that SUGGESTS sontread carefully, also you clearly have decided you don't like this girl from the start, it could be imparing your judgement to really look at both sides of the argument. I'm not saying your wrong, but incase you are be carefulalsowhy not tell your brother what you think and ten say "if she isn't lying then I'm sure she won't mind having a DNA test"
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