A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:over the last three years i have had the same bestfriend. he was there for me through everything, even helped me out of depression, helped me through all my family problems. I have never been that close to anyone in my entire life, he was my only friend. we always talked about how we would stay friends forever, but just today i recieved a text from him saying that its time to move on and he will never under any circumstance talk to me again that he wishes me the best and goodbye.I feel like my whole world just feel apart, i dont even want to live and the depression is coming back, everybody ive ever known has turned on me and now the one i thought never would did as well. where do i go from here?
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male
reader, jayjordan  +, writes (7 January 2011):
I don't know how to explain it. But i am going throught the same situation as you. Me and my friend had been friends for almost 5yrs now. Whenever my friend needed something i'm almost there such as family problem, to the store, etc. No matter how late it is, i'll be there for my friend no matter what. yea we get mad alot but at the end of the day. Both of us forgive each other. But i dont know if i should move on or not because I never did anything wrong to my friend. Plus i am sick and tired of my friend not seeing the good things i do. I just wish things will go back like the same. I just wish my friend will talk to me again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your answers!!!
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (24 June 2010):
Thanks for following up. I agree with groovymoving. My first thought when I read your post was that someone else is behind it. It's just out of character for anyone to do this. I wouldn't give up on him just yet.
Go over to his house, even if it's far. It will only vouch for you efforts, if you do. Then ask him face to face what is going on. Don't blame him, don't confront him, but just say that you couldn't walk away on this friendship without trying to save it, because he means so much to you.
Pay attention to his body-language. If he's telling you the same thing as in his text, does he look like he means it? Try to fish for answers. Did anything recently change in his life? New gf, new friends that are putting pressure on him, etc? Try to find out.
And remember, just because someone stopped being your friend, you don't have to stop being theirs. This certainly doesn't apply to the average friendship, but to something special, like what you had with this guy.
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A
male
reader, groovymoving  +, writes (23 June 2010):
Well, you simply can't. Maybe there is something left between the two of you that you can still save, though?
If he changed his mind about you being friends overnight, someone might have made him leave you. It might have been someone else's idea.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhis reasoning was that he just didnt feel close to me anymore and felt he could no longer relate, that it just wasnt the same. My other friends tell me to just let it go but how do i just forget someone that was such a huge part of my life?
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (23 June 2010):
Your post doesn't give us much insight as of why he would want to cut contact like that in such an impersonal manner. I would almost guess his jealous girlfriend got naughty and sent you this text, because it's very uncommon to end friendships like that.
BUT the last sentence gives some food for thought: "I dont even want to live and the depression is coming back, everybody I've ever known has turned on me and now the one I thought never would did as well."
If everyone is turning their backs on you, even your BFF, then there has to be something you did to make them feel this way. I could take guesses, but that would be as pointless as trying to guess your creditcard number.
So the first step is to take a good look in the mirror and be honest with and about yourself. Sometimes, if you lean too much on others, they can't carry your weight anymore and they fall down with you. Could that be the reason your friend ended it all though something as impersonal as a text? Maybe he had to support you so much he felt like he was drowning, and saw only one way out?
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A
male
reader, groovymoving +, writes (23 June 2010):
You ought to ask for the reason he did this and decide what to do after you receive an answer. At least it seems to be the right first step to take.
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