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... Send *azyGuy a private message | | | *azyGuy's profile:I am 37 year old dutch male who used to think he was the mythical "nice guy" but realized that he really was just to lazy to be bad.
Worked a lot of different jobs, going where-ever the money happens to be and traveled a bit. |
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| Latest articles: Men can't read women
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 March 2008: Slashdot is a geek site focussing mostly on tech. Relationship advice is not something you will find there, but this story just has to be mentioned. http://entertainment.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/03/30/0028211 http://www.livescience.co...
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My ex wanted me to have an abortion, but now he wants visitation rights
Q. Im 18 years old and i have a 3 month old little boy with my ex whose 22. He wants to have some sort of visitation rights but i dont want him to. Since when i found out i was pregnant at 17 he left me for another girl and told me to have an abortion. ...
A. 8 December 2009: Did you get a lawyer.
You are now basically trying to get him to see your child. Isn't that the world in reverse?
This guy is scum and any exposure to him will affect your child wrong. last thing children need is a deadbeat parent screwing ... (read in full...)
I've been hunting for a boyfriend for years, why haven't I found one?
Q. I always feel lonely perhaps it's because I've never had a boyfriend or even a date. I am too embarrassed to divulge this information to my friends but since we all met in college and are very close they've definitely noticed I've never been on one ...
A. 22 November 2009: Eh... you are afraid alone at night? Just how old are you anyway?
A bf is NOT there to check there aren't any monsters under the bed.
You had your share of meaningless hookups but no dates? How does that work? What is a hookup in your eyes?
... (read in full...)
I'd dump my boyfriend if another guy asked me out... so am I using him till then?
Q. So i have this boyfriend and hes amazing. And i absolutely love him! But theres this guy who i go to school with (I dont go to the same school as my boyfriend)(we'll call the guy from school guy Number 2), and hes one of those guys who flirts ...
A. 22 November 2009: Or maybe, just maybe you are a teenage girl who should learn to not take every surge of hormones so bloody serious.
There is a reason you are not allowed to vote. ... (read in full...)
Why do guys like to smell a girl's hair!?
Q. I'm 16 and i was wondering why guys smell girls' hair. I was hanging with one of my guy friends and we hugged and he picked me up and i could tell he smelled my hair. i heard it means the guy likes you. is it true? ...
A. 21 November 2009: "really" likes you as in true love or as in "wants to get into your pants".
Could be both or either.
... (read in full...)
How can I learn to take a step back and 'chill' before I ruin it?
Q. I've been single for 2 years.. I had 3 long term relationships and all have cheated on me. This has left me so insecure and when i meet someone i tend to be quite 'clingy'. I fall for that person quite easily, like i crave to be loved..:-(. I'm 35...
A. 21 November 2009: The problem isn't so much in being needy, although it is not good. The problem is that your eagerness to be loved causes you to fall for the wrong kind of guy.
Your needyness did NOT cause them to cheat. They did that all on their own and would ha... (read in full...)
Where can I meet men?
Q. I've been dating since 16 (im 26 now). I've had a handful of bfs and I've been married. However I find bfs to be rare. I've been on more dates than I can count.that lead to a couple, handful or 1 date at most and nothing. It seems I'm always ms ...
A. 21 November 2009: What went wrong with the marriage? You mention it as if marriage is just another form of a first date.
The last guy you dated didn't kiss you till 6 days later, apparently you like that (I would say that is a bit to much respect, coming dangerou... (read in full...)
My ex wanted me to have an abortion, but now he wants visitation rights
Q. Im 18 years old and i have a 3 month old little boy with my ex whose 22. He wants to have some sort of visitation rights but i dont want him to. Since when i found out i was pregnant at 17 he left me for another girl and told me to have an abortion. ...
A. 21 November 2009: You get a lawyer. What you really should have done the moment he left you to get him to sign away his rights.
Lawyers know the law. Not people on the internet.... (read in full...)
How do I find out if he's marriage material?
Q. I have been dating a guy for about 4 months now. We are "exclusive" (whatever that means today, everbody seems to have a different definition) I guess he is pretty much my boyfriend we don't date other people. I'm 32 and he is 31 years old. He ...
A. 21 November 2009: It is simple, what is it that he wants out of life.
He done the marriage thing, he has got a kid and men don't have a ticking clock.
You want a husband and some children, and you might be feeling the clock ticking.
So, is he not in any ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my ex and learn to trust again?
Q. Why do I miss my ex now? He was not a very nice guy at all, he was untrustworthy, a cheater, and manipulative. I thought he genuinely cared about me, because he would make it a point to tell me so. But when I caught him in lies it was just hea...
A. 21 November 2009: Well, I guess it is true, women can't do logic.
You were captivated during the relationship because of the idea that you had been together for five months. So after the first month, you thought you were together for 5? And when you were really t... (read in full...)
Bedroom issues...
Q. I enjoy sex, the problem is my husband has a small penis that I can't feel. He's clumsy in bed and has never made me orgasm. I have tried talking to him about it and he gets angry and starts saying that I don't love him so I have faked more orgasms ...
A. 19 November 2009: If you love sex then you probably had sex before you married, and this issue never came up? You never thought 'mmm, maybe marrying someone who I am not sexually compatible with isn't such a good idea'?
What after all do you want to hear? there ar... (read in full...)
I am taunted about my chest size. Is it really that important?
Q. i am 15 and have small bust, one of my friend (girl in the group who i get along with less) keeps taking the piss out of the size of my bust and was laughing about me when a lad said 'she'll never be able to feed a baby...', it got me down and my ...
A. 19 November 2009: As for feeding, you know cows have huge udders right? Wrong, only when they are producing milk, there are rest periods between and then it is flat.
All mammals are flat, except human beings. So, you can forget about your breast size meaning ... (read in full...)
Why do women sleep with married men?
Q. Why do women who fool around with a married man get it into their thick skulls that men are using them....why do these women persist with married men, is it low self esteem issue, does it give them a high that this man whos morals are clearly not ...
A. 19 November 2009: They are pre-trained?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I am too young to be the mother of his baby.
Q. i am a virgin and would love to have sex with my bf and become his child's mom but my bf says that i'm very young to be the mother of his kid and he would make me pregnant only aftr i finish my college but i want it rite now and i have gone mad ...
A. 19 November 2009: Call me silly, but should you first get a period (in your sentence) before you have a baby?... (read in full...)
She reaches climax too soon!
Q. hey this is my first time asking for help...anyway.... I'm 19 and I love my girlfriend so much,but I'm having problems with her in bed. What I mean is that she cums really really fast. 5 minutes fast. This is frustrating caus it takes me about 45 ...
A. 19 November 2009: An hour is really to long mate, it is sex, not a marathon.... (read in full...)
Am I expecting too much from my b/f?
Q. So i finally made it official with my best friend of two years. i really really care for him, he always makes me smile. he was a great friend, and i thought he would be an even better bf, but i guess as a bf, i have different expectations from him. ...
A. 19 November 2009: Well, you CAN go out with him. You would just have to pay.
As said, unless he is suddenly going to change (and waiting for a bf is a typical silly female thing to do), what you got is reversed gender roles. You work, he stays at home.
Old fas... (read in full...)
Sex with the perfect guy....
Q. Me and the guy I am with have been together for a little over a month now. He is a great guy, he makes me feel good about myself, he's ready and willing to do something with his life, and he has a lot of traits I am personally attracted to, he's ...
A. 17 November 2009: Nope, they do not. And yes, things COULD hurt. Don't swallow drugs sold over the internet. ... (read in full...)
How can I gently break the news to my mother-in-law that I am pregnant?
Q. Ok then. This is the first time i've used this site, so be nice! (And excuse the punctuation, my CTRL button is tempermental today) So I was wondering how to break the news that im pregnant to my mother-in-law. She is a wonderful woman, and has a...
A. 17 November 2009: Barf on her during morning coffee?
Sorry, it is your life, and why should you excuse yourself for wanting kids when you are married, have an income and a house and everything?
You have nothing to apologize for. So just tell her kindly but it is... (read in full...)
I am a virgin. Should I sleep with my boyfriend of 5 weeks?
Q. ok, im a virgin, my boyfriend of 5 weeks is not, he wants sex (he's 17). I want it so bad, when im around him i feel safe and happy. (i come from a background with alot of abuse and so does he but he has been drinking and smoking since he was in ...
A. 17 November 2009: So, he has so much hardship he slept with 40 different girls, which considering his age must mean he never spent more then a week with any of them, and you wonder if it is a good idea to sleep with him.
There is really nothing that can be said to ... (read in full...)
How long will my boyfriend stay in jail for assaulting me?
Q. am 17 years old and i was dateing this guy who is 19 years old. we currently brok on saturday. because the police arrested him for hitting me on the street i guess people saw him hit me so they called the cops so they arrested him becasue i am a ...
A. 17 November 2009: PLEASE tell me you are asking because you wonder how long you have that you are safe with him inside to escape from his reach and start a new life where he can NEVER ever touch you or your baby again.
PLEASE, for all that is good, do NOT tell me ... (read in full...)
My husband's addiction to porn is destroying our lives!
Q. i have been with my husband for 6 years, and during this time he has lied about watching and using pornography. he has an addition to it, he has even watched porn at his work and lost his job and lost a lot of respect from friends and family. beca...
A. 17 November 2009: The problem is not the porn itself, the problem is that he can't see that there is a time and place for something.
If his vice was watching soccer, then he would have been fired for watching soccer at work for instance.
Addictive peo... (read in full...)
After 5 years together, is marriage ever going to happen?
Q. Do you think that after five years of dating the same person, if marriage is going to occur, it should have already taken place? ...
A. 17 November 2009: Dating or engaged? And age is of course also an issue. What is it the both of you want at this stage in your lifes? Personally I would say that by now their should at least be a committed relationship.... (read in full...)
My b/f and his friends make really sexist jokes, should I worry?
Q. My bf and his friends (who are in their mid 20's) make jokes really sexist jokes. They also find it funny and entertaining talking about women being bashed up and abused by their bf's as well as women being raped and sexually assaulted. How can they...
A. 17 November 2009: Yeah I think you should. A common reason for abuse is that the person feels very insecure about the role in the world and so they separate the world into two. Those they suck up to, and those they kick down on. Guess were women are in these guys ... (read in full...)
What should I choose, earth shattering sex or the great looking guy who is not so good in bed?
Q. Which one should I choose earth shattering great sex you know the kind that brings a tear to your eye and make you pull out the hairs on your head and ok looks or do i choose that guy when he walks in the room everyone creams their pants. You know ...
A. 17 November 2009: So, you want a guy that only you know is really great to have or a guy that any girl thinks she wants to have although she really doesn't because he sucks...
Mind you, would either guy want a girl this shallow and who is fucking two guys at the s... (read in full...)
Is there a way to tell a girl I care for her without jeopardizing a friendship?
Q. The girl I like doesn't know it but I want to tell her. It's become apparent that she is gay but I have not actually asked her so i don't know for sure. She invited me on a date and we had a great time and laughed at each others jokes. I made her a ...
A. 16 November 2009: Life is risk. To win big you need to gamble big.
Tell her, and to be honest, it seems she likes you.
If she doesn't love you back, well that happens. But if you don't tell her and she does have feelings, then you might never know.
... (read in full...)
Can a life-long cheater ever be trustworthy or am I wasting my time?
Q. part one; in aug 08 my then finance added some guy to her facebook and when asked about it she said she thought she knew him, she then deleted him and i thought that was the end of it, or so i thought. part two; in jan 09 she went to her work chri...
A. 16 November 2009: Sure, you can trust her. You can trust she is going to cheat again.
Do you mean that?
Stop wasting your time and more important, your heart. Stay with her and you will become a bitter man. And you can trust me on that.... (read in full...)
Is it acceptable for a man to hit his girlfriend when she stands up for herself against unfair accusations of infidelity?
Q. Is it normal (or acceptable) for: -a man to accuse his girlfriend of infidelity for more than one year? -for the woman to raise her voice and shout, after one year of being falsely accused and asked the same question over and over and over ...
A. 16 November 2009: No, to all.
And the hitting especially. Get away from this control freak, don't think you can EVER convince him. It would be trying to argue you are NOT a witch when the person accusing you gets all your possessions when you are found guilty. ... (read in full...)
Trying for a baby
Q. Hi I have a question I really would love some advice on. My long term boyfriend and I are trying for a baby. In anyways I have been off the pill for the last year and now no longer using condoms. My boyfriend and I had sex umprotected sex on the ...
A. 16 November 2009: Isn't it something like 6 months that is the average for a healthy couple to get pregnant.
... (read in full...)
What is more important; love or bread?
Q. Love or bread? Which is more important to you? Sometimes, I really wonder should girls be practical and choose guys with good family background as in rich, average looking and with a high education level or should she really have to just b...
A. 16 November 2009: Well, the excuse of "but I love him" is far to often used to ignore all warning signs that a relationship is going to end badly.
I think you make the two to extreme. Go with the heart but accept that falling in love with a homeless drug addict w... (read in full...)
I love my mother, and want to overcome my deep feelings of resentment that she didn't protect me growing up.
Q. Hi, I'm going to try to make this as brief as possible... Ever since my mum and dad split up when I was four (I'm now 20) me, my sister and mother have been living with my abusive alcoholic stepdad. He has verbally, mentally and physically abused us ...
A. 16 November 2009: It takes two to tango. This is often forgotten when it comes two abusive relationships. It takes two.
There are usually reasons why the abused stays, why beaten wives stay with wife-beaters or with mothers with the abusers of their children... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant - but how far along?
Q. ok so i am pregnant but really would like someone to say how far i am, roughly. i had my last period on the 13th septemeber....
A. 15 November 2009: Why hasn't your doctor told you? If you haven't seen one, WHY NOT?... (read in full...)
Do boys like large breasts?
Q. heyy...... i am 14 years old and i have larger tits than my friends ... i am 1 38dd and i am still growing will lads like em cuz the are so big ??? ...
A. 15 November 2009: DrPsych, if nature intented breasts to be only for feeding babies, then they would be flat, as they are on EVERY other mammal.
For that matter, the size of breasts would be linked to the amount of milk produced, which isn't the case.
Sorry, ... (read in full...)
Some help writing a note to a boy I like, please
Q. I am toying with the idea of giving this guy a note the last time I see him. I plan on getting to know him a little before I actually give it to him. Anyhow, here is what Im going to write. Im not very good at gauging how people will respond ...
A. 15 November 2009: and intelligence is sparse in these parts.
Leave that bit out. It turns you into a hater. Do you want him to see you as that?... (read in full...)
My violent boyfriend accuses me of cheating
Q. We've been together two years... Tonight, I did not orgasm like he likes me to – it apparently wasn’t strong enough so he told me that I didn’t orgasm nicely – I told him that he was wrong. He wanted to know why I didn’t come nicely – again, ...
A. 15 November 2009: STOP
Violent boyfriend.
Story ends there. You don't examine the rest of what happened, only the facts he hit you multiple times and very hard count.
So, GET out.
You can't reason with wife-beaters. There is no magic fix to cure their an... (read in full...)
Should I smoke pot before sex?
Q. Would smoking pot before having sex make it hurt less the first time?...
A. 15 November 2009: Are you asking us to advice you to commit an offence in your country?
... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his child?
Q. Just yesterday, I found out I was pregnant and it was confirmed by a doctor. My boyfriend and I recently split and he refused to give me a reason. Then only thing he told me was that he loved me but couldnt be with me anymore. But the night before, ...
A. 15 November 2009: Since you considering adoption, and he still comes around to your families house, not telling him isn't really an option.
This is one of those things that is never easy, but as you said, you both made a mistake now it is time to face the conseque... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is neglecting me and I don't kow what to do
Q. me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year now but the problem is im not happy. he never has time to spend with me because he always has other things to do like going to play football with his friends, studying or working. i dont want to s...
A. 15 November 2009: It seems he got a puppy because that is what people do, but forgot the puppy needs walkies.
Sometimes people just ain't ready for a relationship. He seems to think having a gf only means "do you want to be my gf" and that is it. No follow-u... (read in full...)
Am I expecting too much from my b/f?
Q. So i finally made it official with my best friend of two years. i really really care for him, he always makes me smile. he was a great friend, and i thought he would be an even better bf, but i guess as a bf, i have different expectations from him. ...
A. 15 November 2009: So, you set your standards that you refuse to lower. So how did you end up with a guy that doesn't meet your standards?
Lowered them after all, didn't you?
Let's see, he is twenty, not in a school and not got a job.
So, what does he do? ... (read in full...)
Should I have a child with a man 30 years my senior?
Q. My boyfriend is 30 years older than me. His daughter is 10 years older than me.He has grand children. Should. I have a baby with him, or its too weird?...
A. 15 November 2009: So basically, your child is going to be younger then his daughters child? So his grandchild is older then his uncle?
But hey, you are both adults, do whatever you think is best, at least you have some evidence he is a good parent (is he?)
... (read in full...)
How do I get my guy friends to stop seeing me as one of the guys?
Q. i'm 16. ok so heres my problem, i got lots of guy friends. i got more guy friends then girls. and well since i hang with mostly guys, my guy friends dont see me as someone there date. they treat me like one of the guys, and well now i dont really ...
A. 15 November 2009: Pull up your t-shirt?
If you hang out a lot. Sit close to him, special emphasis on you being soft and warm and close. No not overly sexual, but lean against him. Seek him out APART from the rest of the pack.
And of course, there is always ... (read in full...)
Should I take things slowly?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for six months and he decided it was over because he said he was tried of the arguements. i called him to apologise but he gave me the cold shoulder and said we will never get back together. he left on monday and today ...
A. 15 November 2009: Did he take his clothes with him?
Few guys would not try the "lets be friends with benefits" routine. Just make sure you don't end up being just there for sex on the side.
NEVER think that sex has ANY meaning to a guy beyond "I like sex". We ca... (read in full...)
My ex has a new girlfriend. Should we continue our secret relationship?
Q. Me and my boyfried broke up after i lost our baby, he has a new girlfriend but we are still messing around, should i stick around or leave him alone even tho i kno he still loves me?...
A. 15 November 2009: He loves you so much he broke up after your mis-carriage, didn't make the relation "official" in all that time and is now seeing someone else.
Sorry you lost the baby, but girl, you really do need to take those blinders off.... (read in full...)
I'm so behind with my sexual knowledge I fear he'll think I'm weird! Help!
Q. Four years ago when I was 16 I decided, together with my bf at the time, that I was ready to lose my virginity with him, basically neither of us knew what we were doing, I felt uncomfortable and immediately told him to stop. However he didn't, he ...
A. 15 November 2009: And what exactly do you think sexual experience would teach you? How to do everything just right? A hooker would know that, does he want to date a hooker?
You are still young, it is alright for you NOT to know everything yet. You can learn it... (read in full...)
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