A
male
age
30-35,
*ajora
writes:hey this is my first time asking for help...anyway.... I'm 19 and I love my girlfriend so much,but I'm having problems with her in bed. What I mean is that she cums really really fast. 5 minutes fast. This is frustrating caus it takes me about 45 min. to an hour to cum. So when she cums she's done she won't keep going so my needs aren't met. I really love her but this is frustrating.what should I do... I don't want to cheat on her to find satisfaction elsewhere...a few notes-i don't know if they're relevantshe lost her virginity to memy penis isn't that big its about 6 inches its averagei really do appreciate the help and thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Accountable  +, writes (19 November 2009):
 Honestly it sounds as though she could be faking it to avoid sex lasting longer, especially if she is uncomfortable with her body and was a virgin before she met you.. Did you rush into sex early in your relationship?
Obviously whatever the reason, this is unfair to you. You need to have a long conversation with her about whether she actually enjoys sex, whether she would mind giving you oral/manual stimulation after she orgasms (if she really does..) etc. Good luck :)
A
male
reader, generalist  +, writes (19 November 2009):
wow wow wow,
boy 45 min is too long i dont know how do u manage that?
actually she sounds normal and seems theres some problem with u...
no sex last for more than 10 min if u r really into intercource....
so 5 min is normal for her....analyse yourself buddy
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): I'm a girl and I orgasm very quickly and then want to sleep.
When my BF takes a long time, it is very frustrating
it usually takes him 30 min if he's been masturbating recently.
Do you masterbate alot? Maybe you could cut back or don't do it at all 2 days before you have sex and you will orgasim quicker?! 45 to an hour is WAY too long.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): I really think you are unsuited to each other because for a man to take 45 min to climax is very very long and quite unusual. I think you should find yourself a girl who is a slow climaxer. whereas she would be God sent to any guy who suffer from premature ejaculation.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (19 November 2009):
 An hour is really to long mate, it is sex, not a marathon.
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A
male
reader, majora +, writes (19 November 2009):
majora is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell we have tried alot more forplay on me so I can be alot more turned and cum faster but she still comes fast,we've tried different positions and going at different speeds and the end result is the same. I think she's not confterble with sex....she says she doesn't like her body so I think that might be it..I've talked to her and told her I don't care how she looks like that I'll still love her but she don't change....I wana talk to her about it...unfortunately I'm on a business trip in arkansas..
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (19 November 2009):
 I agree with the previous respondent and would add, though this might be too obvious, but have you changed positions or types of thrusts? Like, if she likes it when you go fast maybe you should slow it down. or if she likes a certain position either try a variety that may 'throw her off' a little and make you turned on more. maybe less foreplay on her, and more foreplay (either manual or oral) on you.
I would also add, that if she refuses to work on things on your side (as in, helping you attain satisfaction as well), i would bring it up to her that it is sort of a serious issue, that the imbalance, of her always getting off and you hardly getting off is really unfair and selfish of her. I'm not saying, guilttrip her into a sort of coercive situation, but, if she is unwilling to change the way the sex stuff goes, I would definitely sense that as a red flag. Like the other aunt mentioned, it is not usual that girls come so easily, and i would think especially with a girl who can orgasm so easily, that she could have multiple orgasms. and in general, sex should not be that..prohibitive after coming, yea less clitoral stimulation should be in order but..I don't know, I feel like if she doesn't budge in trying to make it better for you that she might be faking orgasms to begin with so that it's over with so she doesn't have to deal with a marathon, or maybe she doesn't enjoy sex? I know that's a real out there claim, but I would just read her signals and decide if the sexual incompatibility amounts to romantic incompatibility in the longrun.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (19 November 2009):
I agree with the previous respondent and would add, though this might be too obvious, but have you changed positions or types of thrusts? Like, if she likes it when you go fast maybe you should slow it down. or if she likes a certain position either try a variety that may 'throw her off' a little and make you turned on more. maybe less foreplay on her, and more foreplay (either manual or oral) on you.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (19 November 2009):
 If your girlfriend is willing, consider oral stimulation. Specifically, she may be able to accelerate your pleasure with fellatio (blow jobs), whether to completion or at least to heighten your arousal to near ejaculation. However, it is surprising that you say that after she orgasms, "she won't keep going." Most women are quite capable of being multi-orgasmic under the right circumstances. In fact, I think (and many studies have shown) that a majority of women have trouble reaching climax because their men cannot sustain activity long enough for the woman. This seems a reverse of the issue.
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