A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year now but the problem is im not happy.he never has time to spend with me because he always has other things to do like going to play football with his friends, studying or working. i dont want to sound needy but i need attention! he thinks dropping me to college and picking me up after for a journey home which takes about 10mins is spending time together. recently hes been having financial difficulties and im trying to help him as much as i can but now its really getting to me!!It was our first anniversy yesterday and we didnt do anything. He just came to see me for 5mins then went back to work and today he took the day off to play football...... it was my birthday 2months ago and all i got was a txt from him because he had this weird plan of "suprising me" 2weeks after my bday which still didnt happen.i mean ok i know his going through a very difficult time atm but i still have feelings....i just dont know what to do anymore i want to be there for him at his hard times but i dont have the strength anymore as im emotionally drained.everytime i talk to him about it he say he doesnt have money anymore to take me out or to buy me presents like he use to but thats not what i want, i dont mind just sitting in the car or going for a walk in the park but he doesnt seem to understand.we both live with our parents so going round to each others is not an option either...i feel so helpless i just dont know what to do anymore
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009): To be very honest with you I think that he is either losing interest in the relationship or he has his own problems whereby he is not prepared to share with you. Avoiding is always a common method for guys to break up with a girl or to end relationship with their girlfriends. Although there is a chance that I am wrong however I have experienced it myself so I am just sharing with you. Hopefully, he is just being emotional about some struggles?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2009): i have thought about leaving him couple of times before and everytime i bring up the subject he gets very emotional and starts to cry begging me not to leave him and that he needs me ect, ect..
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 November 2009):
He isn't ready for a relationship at this moment. He has a girlfriend because he sees it as normal. But he doesn't do anything else. You've spoken to him adn he hasn't changed, which means he won't. So now you have a choice. Pretend he's going to change and carry on, or dump him and find someone who will love you.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (15 November 2009):
 It seems he got a puppy because that is what people do, but forgot the puppy needs walkies.
Sometimes people just ain't ready for a relationship. He seems to think having a gf only means "do you want to be my gf" and that is it. No follow-up needed.
You could say that he doesn't "get" it. But the reality if probably that he doesn't want to get it. He is going what he wants to be doing and apparently that doesn't involve spending much time with you.
I think he does understand, he just doesn't want to do it. After all, you did talk to him about it several times.
So you can go on believing he is very dense OR accept that you two want different things in a relationship. What that means is up to you.
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