I just can’t be just a friend because I will always want her. Please help.
Q. Hi everyone. I have a huge shot in the heart right now and its been two weeks and still feel the same pain from the moment it happened. The final result before you all read the story is that she emailed me and said she wants to be friends, that she ...
A. 24 May 2011: You have been relegated to the dreaded "friend zone." Once that happens, it's time to move on. Otherwise, you are going to make it worse for yourself by pining away for someone you can't have. The girl was decent enough to tell you where her head is ... (read in full...)
If a girl gives out her contact info to a guy without any intention of dating him, is it leading him on???
Q. ok this friend of mine (a girl) got into an argument recently and i would love to hear your opinion on this. she is very pretty and she gets hit upon a lot. she is very friendly too so she engages guys in conversations. then they inevitably ask f...
A. 24 May 2011: She knows exactly what she's doing, and it's not very nice. ... (read in full...)
Is married man hinting for me to sleep with him?
Q. Hello, What does it mean when a married man hints to you that he is staying in a bad situation? Is he lying or telling you the truth? Does he want to sleep with you? Interested in a relationship? Wants to give you a green light to pursue him?...
A. 13 May 2011: What difference does it make what any of that may mean -- he's married is all you really need to know. C'mon girl, you know the first rule of dating don't you? Don't Date Married Men. It's a losing proposition all around. So, stop trying to read the ... (read in full...)
I love my wife but I am attracted to her sister too...
Q. Hi, I have been married for 13 years and have a wonderful wife and 3 kids. During this time I have always loved my wife, but have always loved her sister as well, but kept this info to myself. On a scale from one to ten, I would say that they ar...
A. 13 May 2011: Well, I don't any stars have aligned, as you put it; however, the clouds forming above your head are going to unleash an apocalyptic shit storm the likes of which you can't even imagine if you deign to go where you are thinking of going. I am ... (read in full...)
My BF is chatting with a hottie from work! Should I be worried??
Q. Dear cupid My bf of 2 years has started chatting with his collegue ( a girl) in IM almost everyday. i saw his messages in his computer, it was just hi, how r u doing kind of messages, but she doesnt respond much and he is the one who always initi...
A. 13 May 2011: It's definitely an issue. Why does he need to be chatting up some hottie at work when he has you? I'd confront him about it and tell him you don't like it and ask that he stop. If he hits you with the "but, we're just friends" bullshit tell him if ... (read in full...)
Just co-workers, or is there more to it?
Q. Hoping for some common sense input here. I am a female working with a guy (that's how we met about 2 years ago) who is about 9 years younger than I am. There has been some light flirting in person but he is now some 2,000 miles away so our contact ...
A. 11 May 2011: Romantic relationships in the workplace, while more common now than they used to be, are fraught with difficulties. If you can dial it back to where you are just co-workers, I would recommend you do that. As his superior, you are taking a risk for ... (read in full...)
Is the apology genuine, am I being too sensitive?
Q. Hi good people! I have a friend who I regarded as more than just a friend. We went through a rocky period, more on my part, we had little contact, and what I regarded as little effort on her part (not replying texts, not returning calls, not ...
A. 11 May 2011: The problem is that you have feelings for this girl which, unfortunately for you, are not reciprocal. You're not looking for a friendship in the true sense of the word with her. You're looking for something more than that. If a girl is not ... (read in full...)
Adult dating websites. When should a wife be concerned?
Q. Why do men register on adult dating websites? Let me rephrase: Why do married men register themselves on adult dating websites? Are they bored with the wife? Are they just trying out a new porn sight? Like trying to see real naked girls instead of ...
A. 11 May 2011: Should a wife be concerned that her husband is registering on adult dating sights? That's like a ship captain asking if he should be concerned that his ship has a gaping hole in it and is taking on water. Yes, you should be concerned.... (read in full...)
I am crushed. I read what she wrote about my size and don't how I am going to work this, or our new LDR, out with her.
Q. I need help with a difficult situation. I met a girl about three months ago through a work friend and we hit it off. We have been dating since then and I feel as if the relationship is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. ...
A. 10 May 2011: Ouch!!! Sex is such a head game to begin with and it depends a lot on one's confidence in bed. Personally, I would be so pissed off about what she said that I wouldn't want to sleep with her again anyway. I'd be so turned off by her that I'd have to ... (read in full...)
Should I open up an old wound and contact her?
Q. Hey, I broke up with this girl about 12 months ago. It wasnt a bad break up by any means. We did keep in touch for a while but she asked me to stop contacting her as it was confusing her emotionally. I respect her for honestly and strength and...
A. 10 May 2011: It's called a "breakup" because it's broke. Leave the girl alone. She has asked you not to contact her. So, don't contact her. If she wanted to see you, you'd know. Stop living in the past. It's time to move on. Once you commit to that, your ... (read in full...)
My neighbour kissed me. We're both married. What do I do now??
Q. My neighbour kissed me tonight. We are both married and I am scared to death. It was just a flirty teasing relationship, but now I'm just freaked out. We both find each other very attractive and it's difficult to "act normal". I can see this ...
A. 6 May 2011: Well, "normal" is out of the question for the foreseeable future. If you value your marriage, you need to cut ties with your neighbor -- I mean all ties --- immediately. At the same time, you need to take stock of your marriage and try to figure out ... (read in full...)
Not FWBs, not BF/GF, but still affectionate with each other. What are we???
Q. So, I'm slightly confused if this girl is playing mind games with me, or it's just how she is and i should just relax and accept this is how she is. i do find myself over analyzing things quite often. Firstly, we have known each other for 2-3...
A. 6 May 2011: Oh brother...it shouldn't be this difficult. It sounds to me as if she wants her cake and eat it too. She plays around with you when she feels like it. Goes off with other guys when it suits her. She is calling the tune, and you are dancing to it ... (read in full...)
Our "casual" relationship!
Q. So, I fancied the hell outta one of my collegues , eventually we made out, and texted for days, we have since been sleeping together but are not in a 'relationship' as he said hes 'not a relationship person'. I agreed to this and when asked he says ...
A. 16 April 2011: Why do people come here and get really good advice (that a lot of people would, and do, pay for elsewhere) only to ignore the great advice given and then come back with the "I'm so confused" routine. You're not the only one confused. So are all the ... (read in full...)
After 26 years of marriage my husband left me for another woman
Q. 3 months ago after 26 years of marriage my husband left me for another woman.The first month we had hardly any contact but now we speak and see each other every day. He says he still loves me and that no one will ever compare to how he feels about ...
A. 24 March 2011: The fact that he only knew the gf for 2 months says to me that he just got swept away with an infatuation on which reality has since intruded. He's now looked around and realizes he screwed up in a big way. I don't think he's playing games with you. ... (read in full...)
Masterbating with friends, is it normal???
Q. Just wanted peoples opinions on this one... So here i go i guess :( Me and my friends masterbate together, we've been best friends during high school and we all finished last year and now we're all 18 and can legally go to the strippers etc... ...
A. 20 March 2011: Personally, I think it's a bit weird but ... hey whatever floats your boat. If it were me, I'd be banging the chicks instead of choking my chicken. ... (read in full...)
Why is a married man asking me about marriage?
Q. I have a crush on a married man who flirts and texts..He is always asking about me and my marriage...Why?...
A. 20 March 2011: Because he's hoping he can get you to start complaining about your husband. It's all part of the "emotional affair" routine that is almost a cliche by now. Do yourself a favor, get out of this situation NOW. You are endangering your marriage and ... (read in full...)
Is this guy at the Gym shy? Interested in me? Or just being polite?
Q. For a year and a half, I've noticed this guy and his dad at the gym the same time I go. He usually keeps to himself and there to workout with his dad. I never saw him, not even once chatting with a woman. For six months, I've noticed he'd look at ...
A. 20 March 2011: It's 2011. I think it's ok if in the middle of one your chats with him, you ask him out. Of course he likes you. What's not to like? Once you ask him, you'll get the answers to all of your questions. Good luck.... (read in full...)
This is gonna sound bad but I want to cheat on my girlfriend..
Q. Hey everyone This is gonna sound bad but I want to cheat on my girlfriend Now before people start getting up on there high horses and accuse me of being a troll and an ass and so on hear me out... About 6 months ago my gf cheated on me an...
A. 19 March 2011: Don't cheat. It will mess you up and you will, ultimately, regret it. Deal with the issues in your relationship in a healthy and constructive way. If things don't improve, and it's a deal-breaker for you, then end the relationship before you start ... (read in full...)
Do I have to mistreat people in order for them to stop treating me like crap?
Q. I'm at uni and i've been hanging around this group of black boys. I'm black myself and i live with all white people. Out of 6 i get on well with 2 who are nerds and they're good decent people. The others are jocks and we don't really hang out with ...
A. 19 March 2011: Becoming an asshole will not get you friends. It will simply cause more assholes to come into your life. The problem as I see it is that you are hanging with the wrong crowd. If the people you are seeking to hang with have no respect for you, ditch ... (read in full...)
Bf emailing and texting other girls from past and lying about it
Q. So I've been dating my bf for 2 years. He was in nyc and I was in ca. So we did long distance. We talked and text every day. Id see him once a month at least. After the first year I said we should get engaged and he agreed but never went through w ...
A. 19 March 2011: What's to put in perspective? You hit the nail on the head when you wrote "I've lost all trust in this scum bag." Why waste a plane ticket on this dickhead?... (read in full...)
I'm not attracted to my girlfriend's body. Should I leave her?
Q. Hi. I don't know what to do. Please read the whole question before cursing me and telling me what an idiot I am. You can do that after you've read the question. Well, I am not attracted to my girlfriend's body. We've been together for several mont...
A. 19 March 2011: Let this poor girl go, and don't criticize her body in doing so. Good luck looking for that "perfect" body. Once you find her (over and over again), it will slowly sink in that real relationships are based on a lot more than looks alone.... (read in full...)
I love my girl but am scared of losing her if I admit to having kissed another girl while drunk
Q. Hi, really need some help, i have now been with my girlfriend for 6 months, i love her to pieces and think out relationship is absolutely amazing. However, i am at uni and she lives back home, during freshers weeks, while very drunk i kissed a few ...
A. 19 March 2011: I'm not one of those who believes in telling every little thing. If there's no point to it, other than hurting someone you love, and the confession revolves around something like this where you had a few too many and kissed some girls while drunk ... (read in full...)
Should I feel guilty for sleeping with a guy who has a gf?
Q. Should I feel guilty? Ok, I met this guy last summer. For some reasons I cant afford a relationship right now. So he and I were being casual. We just hang out sometimes and share bed time to time. Actually I thought he's kinda player becaus...
A. 18 March 2011: The attitude that you have no responsibility for your "friend" screwing over his gf by sleeping with you is pure bullshit. In a civil and free society, we all have responsibility for each other. There is an unwritten social compact, frayed as it is ... (read in full...)
Broken up but ex hasn't changed her status
Q. So girlfriend of one year broke up with me 3 weeks ago but hasn't changed her status on a social networking site.. All communication has basically been dropped since I know I have to get over her, especially since she's befriended/gotten quite close ...
A. 17 March 2011: It means nothing with respect to the relationship that she used to have with you.... (read in full...)
How do I be there for him and take everything he says with a pinch of salt so I don't feel so let down?
Q. I've been occassionally seeing my ex (datin for 6 mo). we broke up a few wks ago (I broke up with him because he didnt make enough time for me and promised he would but always had excuses some valid but sometimes i felt he was too lazy aswell).It ...
A. 16 March 2011: Honey, it's called a "breakup" because it's broke. You just don't want to move on. So, until that reality takes hold, you will essentially be stuck in a relationship that is broke. You can literally waste an entire lifetime if you so choose trying ... (read in full...)
We have been talking for 3 weeks but never have met, yet now he says he loves me! What is going on?
Q. So I joined this dating site a few months ago and went out with a lot of weirdos, than I started talking to this guy on the site who seems the most normal of them yet. To make a long story short, we exchange numbers and start talking on the phone ...
A. 16 March 2011: First, I'd change dating sites. Second, don't get all wrapped up in this guy. It's a red flag that he "loves" you already when he hasn't even met you. He sounds like one of those people who are in love with being in love. They're the worst kind ... (read in full...)
My wife's friends husband flirts openly with her...and she sees no harm in it. Am I the only one who thinks this is weird?
Q. My wife's best friend's husband will openly flirt with my wife at social gatherings at there home. She says it is just his way and I have excepted that, even though I find it dis-respectful. My wife says it means nothing. Recently I have learned ...
A. 16 March 2011: What is with some men today?? I would kick this guy so hard in the ass he'd never even think of sending my wife another text message, or even looking her way. Then I'd set the wife straight on what's acceptable behavior while married to me. When did ... (read in full...)
I need to put out the fire!!!! How do I get him out of my head?
Q. Hi everyone. How do you get over someone you are INCREDIBLY attracted to? We are both in committed relationships and can't be having these thoughts. But I think about this guy all the time and fantasize about being with him. I can't get him ou...
A. 16 March 2011: You must cease contact with him. It's that simple. No titillating attraction is worth jeopardizing your real relationship.... (read in full...)
Can I trust my bf after his text messages to another girl?
Q. I have been with my partner for more than a year now. I am 18 and he is 23. I have never had a problem with the age as ive worked in a bar for years and have always been into older men. Lately things have been rough. I began checking his phone as i ...
A. 16 March 2011: Honey...do you need a roof to fall on your head? You are not the only woman in this "amazing" guy's life. I'm perplexed by your taking your anger out on the woman Mr. Amazing is texting. Shouldn't you be angry with him? He deletes his log because he ... (read in full...)
Why are some men able to charm, while others who try the same techniques seen as players?
Q. This week i was purchasing a jewelery item with part of an inheritance as I thought that would be a nice way to remember them every time I looked at my hand.. . I recognised the salesman and recalled how very charming he always is, when I have see...
A. 13 March 2011: I think the difference between a "player" and a guy who is genuinely charming is the sincerity aspect. You can spot a player a mile away. But, the sincere, caring, knows just what to say type is a different breed altogether. Mixed into the concern ... (read in full...)
After 23 years. wife's sex drive diminishing. I feel like cheating!
Q. I am married for 23 years now. My wifes sex drive keeps deminishing. I need more. It is a biological need. I end up masturbating, which is not half as much enjoyable. At times I fee like finding another consenting partner, which would be cheating. ...
A. 13 March 2011: You don't cheat. How would you feel if the tables were turned? And don't say you'd be fine with your wife stepping out on you, because that's bs. What you do is work on the issue with your wife. You don't wreck a 23 year marriage simply because you ... (read in full...)
Is meeting a girl you are attracted to cheating your wife?
Q. A lady in office much younger than I am had been hitting on me for a while. I find her very attractive. She is married, and so am I. At the same time, I dont want to mess up my married life and have not gone beyond a coffee or lunch together. ...
A. 13 March 2011: Some people think not. I, however, do think that this is cheating because you are apparently involved emotionally with this other woman. Otherwise, there would be no real reason to keep in contact with her. And, she's younger than you. All of us ... (read in full...)
My mom has been diagnosed with an incurable disease and my world has shattered around me. Help me please...
Q. Yesterday I was driving in my car with my mom and out of the blue she told me that she's been diagnosed with an incurable disease in her lungs and that she's gonna start some treatment which is gonna be useless. She was crying, saying she was scared ...
A. 13 March 2011: I'm sorry your Mom is ill. I know a bit about loss. I lost my Mom when I was very young and a sibling and my Dad a few years ago (and I'm not all that old relatively speaking). Loss is a part of life. Everything will pass. The most loving thing you ... (read in full...)
After 2.5 years boyfriend dumps me by text!
Q. I feel so angry with my ex boyfriend. We were together for 2 1/2 years and he dumped me by text. I never imagined for a minute he would do something so horrible, as it seemed out of character for him. In fact, at the time I didn't realise I was ...
A. 13 March 2011: Yeah, that's a pretty shitty way to break up with someone. I bet if you look back, though, there were red flags somewhere along the way as you got involved with this guy. It's not so much a matter of not trusting anyone, including yourself. It's a ... (read in full...)
Justified in my divorce request?
Q. I have been with my husband for a little over 4 years, married almost 3 years now. When we are alone together, everything is great. We enjoy each other's company and can chat for hours. However, I know he fits only into one aspect of my life -- he ...
A. 13 March 2011: Yeah, sorry but you do sound kind of shallow as well as a bit immature, notwithstanding your "career". There are other ways to address this without throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Just sayin'.... (read in full...)
Should I help the woman next door?
Q. I'll keep this as short as possible. My neighbors are wonderful people. He is very ill and wheelchair bound from MS and another debilitating disease. Last night his wife came onto me, she wants me because as she put it, she feels safe with me. I ...
A. 13 March 2011: This is why God invented vibrators. Don't do this. It's just wrong on so many levels as others have already pointed out.... (read in full...)
My lover thinks she can move in with me in 2 months but I'm still married!
Q. I am 41, married 10 years, no kids and have fallen in love with another women (14 years younger). I know the other women now 1 year from another State. She visited me several times (when my wife was out of town) and I visited her often including her ...
A. 12 March 2011: You have come to the point where you have realized you have to man up and tell the truth. Unfortunately, there will probably be a lot of collateral damage. It's not as if you were telling little white lies. Lying and cheating is never a good policy. ... (read in full...)
Men: would you be turned on or freaked out or something else by this?
Q. Hello lovely men of DearCupid :D How are we today? So, picture this... You wake up in the morning with a hard on only to find your girlfriend/mrs was already 'attending' to it... Reaction please? Would you be turned on? Freaked out? ...
A. 12 March 2011: Me likey!! : ... (read in full...)
My gf is angry at me for cheating with her friend and I don't understand why!
Q. I've been seeing my girlfriend for a few months (we got together at the start of last year (and broke up until November). In early December she and her best friend came to stay at my place for the weekend. Her friend ended up getting very dru...
A. 11 March 2011: A little friendly male advice. Your gf is insecure. Her cure is to hit you over the head each time she feels her insecurity come to the fore. Clearly this other woman is a trigger for your gf. Stop worrying about offending her friend and just keep ... (read in full...)
Is this an emotional affair?
Q. I need some advise desperately. I have been with my wife for almost 24 years and married 18. We've got 2 beautiful kids(6 and 11)We've had a good marriage for the vast majority of the time with some ups and downs. I lost my job recently and we ...
A. 8 March 2011: Most definitely, your wife is involved in an emotional affair. She has to want to end it with this other guy. If she doesn't want to do that, then you need to prepare to move on. Your wife is making a massive mistake. Hopefully she wakes up before ... (read in full...)
Our "casual" relationship!
Q. So, I fancied the hell outta one of my collegues , eventually we made out, and texted for days, we have since been sleeping together but are not in a 'relationship' as he said hes 'not a relationship person'. I agreed to this and when asked he says ...
A. 7 January 2011: People who sleep together and claim not to be in a relationship are in denial. Unless you are both robots possessing neither heart nor soul, then I hate to break it to you...but you are in a relationship --a crappy relationship -- but a relationship ... (read in full...)
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