A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyoneThis is gonna sound bad but I want to cheat on my girlfriendNow before people start getting up on there high horses and accuse me of being a troll and an ass and so on hear me out...About 6 months ago my gf cheated on me and left me for a complete loser. We had been together for about 3 years, have a house together and basically have a life together.She has been the only girl I have ever slept with and I assume that I was the only guy she had ever slept with up until the cheating event occured ( I can't prove she's cheated before )Anyway after being with this loser for about 2 months she comes crawling back to me ( for multiple reasons... I lost 15kg. She realized the grass wasn't any greener on the other side. She missed me and so on )Anyway I was over the moon when she came back. I was as happy as happy can be until I started having images of her and this bloke. Everytime we start to make love I get images and I lose all passion in the moment. Plus sex has become extremely boring cos it's the same 2 positions every single time.Anyway these visions are getting worst and worst and sex is getting even harder because of these visions and same positions all the time.I try to ignore the visionsAnd as for the boringness she refuses to try anything new. I ask and ask and even try but she gets annoyed with me.I just want a bit of spice in the sex lifeAnyway as I was saying I want to cheat, for those 2 reasons. I keep getting visions so I feel like I need to get even as such and I need a more exciting sex life. I have a friend who is willing to to this stuff as well. But I guess the reason I haven't done it yet is because I do love this girl heaps and heaps and I have extremely strong morals but I don't know is it bad to go against my morals because she cheated on me first or should I forget about the whole incident and just fix my sex life?Any advice would be nice please...And please like I said at the start I haven't cheated on her yet a d she's still the only person I've been with so no hate comments please
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): Just dump the girl, she obviously had no respect for you..
You also seem incompatible sexually, u just want missionary only every mon-wed-fri at 630pm just like the other chump then stay with her.. He most likely dumped her for thus reason
I would find it hard staying with her if it was me. Different if you hooked up with others before you got together
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): If you want achieve her love, you have got the best opportunity by forgiving her, now if you forgive her and love her she will love you so much that you cannot imagine because even after cheating you have loved her and that is why she feels more happy and she will love you more. But if you cheat you will loose her love and you may loose her for entire life also you may feel guilty for what you have done to her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): I understand you love this girl, but it must eat you up inside that she wanted something better while she was with you. And you know what? She went for what she thought was better, and it backfired.You could have this same problem. Cheat on her and then realise how rotten it would feel, and then also stoop down to her level.If you are unhappy in your relationship, cheating will not solve it. Your girlfriend is unwilling to compromise for your needs and therefore you are unhappy. If the tables were turned, would you do the same for her?Think about how much you want to be with her, and also, how much you really think you mean to each other. Either way, cheating is not the answer. Either resolve your issues, maybe through counselling if you feel this girl is really what you want; or, break it off and find someone willing to compromise.
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A
male
reader, Kilcardy  +, writes (19 March 2011):
Don't cheat. It will mess you up and you will, ultimately, regret it. Deal with the issues in your relationship in a healthy and constructive way. If things don't improve, and it's a deal-breaker for you, then end the relationship before you start spicing things up with someone else. You will feel a lot better about yourself doing it the right way as opposed to doing it the other way. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): I won't call you an ass. I know how shitty it feels to be cheated on and to get haunting visions out of your mind of someone's UGLY face kissing your woman's mouth. The same mouth that has kissed yours and given you pleasure and said I LOVE YOU to you... I know how that feels. And to be betrayed by the woman you love, when you have done nothing like that to her, nor deserved that. A LOW BLOW.BUT I still have to tell you that cheating is NOT the answer. Then you are no better. If you are THAT broken up about what happened, then you should do the RIGHT thing and break up with her. Tell her that you care for her but it just isn't the same. Maybe you need some space. But it's wrong to cheat. It is deceitful and you should not turn yourself into the very thing you despise. And it is wrong and unethical. Revenge cheating is bad and so is cheating because you can't get back into your sexual saddle. TALK TO HER about how you feel in bed now. This is part of your healing process. IT is normal to feel weird or insecure or turned off sexually and have images in your head that you'd rather not have. She put you through shit and you are having a hard time getting past it. IT really messed with your mind. BUT DON'T CHEAT. PLEASE.
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A
male
reader, sebaslookingforward  +, writes (19 March 2011):
No cheating, no breaks, no time apart, no giving each other some space. Just break up. I mostly agree with chigirl.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): Cheat on her. You will feel better. Trust me.
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A
male
reader, Capri2 +, writes (19 March 2011):
I see you love her but I'm sorry to tell you this relationship is doomed. There is no way this will work out and your visions won't go away. She cheated on you and dumped you. I know you love her but you should love yourself a little bit and move on. You are with the wrong girl. You don't even know who she is with when she isn't with you. And she is likely she will cheat on you again as soon as another bloke hypnotizes her again. I suppose you deserve better that this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): Its understandable that you want to hurt her the same way that she hurt you so she can enjoy the taste of betrayal the same way you have had to endure. But by doing this you will just become like her and you have done no better, you have good morals and believe me they don't come by in a person as often as they should. Its only going to leave you feeling empty worthless and regretting the fact you went against who you are as a person. Its a ticking time bomb waiting to happen and I can't see your girlfriend reacting with forgiveness as you have done to her....or have you? If you want make things work with your girlfriend then you need to be honest with each other and be prepared to work through your differences and resentments to help things get better. I would have personally have walked away if my partner had cheated but its all individual. I would say instead of focusing on hurting her back work on solving the issues that the relationship has as there are going to be issues. this is not some situation that's going to resolve overnight.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 March 2011):
 You must realize how stupid this is. Im giving you some blunt, right from the gut advice here. Cheating on her will be stupid. Plain and simple. What exactly do you think you will achieve from cheating on her?
Your sex life with her will be just as lame.
Her having been with this other guy won't go away.
Your images of her and this other guy won't go away.
You will still have a house together, you'll be tied to her just like you are now, except if you cheat.. you will have also cheated on her. How swell! And how's that supposed to make your life better?
It won't make anything better, it'll just mess you up. You have high morals, you don't really want to cheat on a woman you love, and if everything in your relationship hadn't been so bad right now then you wouldn't have ever thought of it. What you want is an escape, and you think that if you leave your woman, for only a little, a night with someone else... then POOF! By magic your relationship will be rosy red! Come on you know it wont.
If you only want to cheat to get even I have a by far better advice for you: leave her. That will make it even. That's the ONLY thing that will actually help you get over this, and the ONLY thing that will teach her a lesson. Then maybe she wont cheat on the next bloke that crosses her path. But you, you need to move on. You have a house together, well sell it, move out, you do what you got to do. When did "we have a house together" ever become the sole reason for why someone should be together? You don't want to be with this girl! THATS why you want to cheat.
I say this as a personal rule: if I ever want to cheat on someone, or be with someone else.. then I'll do just that, I'll end my current relationship and BE with someone else. You should do the same. Don't cheat. Just be with someone else.
You love her, and this is hard, but it's always hard to end a relationship. But when you come to the point where you want to seek the company of others the relationship should have ended long time ago. You're not married to her. You can leave.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (19 March 2011):
 Anyone who has ever been in love and been cheated on can certainly understand and sympathize with you. But I ask you this...if you cheat on her is it REALLY going to make you feel better? Be honest with yourself. The odds are it won't. Why not be the bigger person and take the high road. If you can't forget and forgive her (and God knows that's not easy to do!) then make a clean break. That way you are free, and there will be no guilt involved. Two wrongs don't make a right, and if you cheat on her, doesn't that make you as bad as her? You sound like a caring guy, so please don't lower yourself to cheating. If your sex life is boring and she doesn't want to try new things out, you can't force her. Maybe its just time to move on. Its really hard to turn a blind eye when someone has cheated, and its nearly impossible to just forget. Sometimes relationships just can't weather the damage that cheating brings. Perhaps its just time to move on. Talk to her, listen carefully. And then make your decision. But please don't cheat. It won't make you feel better if you have a conscious. Take care and I wish you all the best.
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