A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am married for 23 years now. My wifes sex drive keeps deminishing. I need more. It is a biological need. I end up masturbating, which is not half as much enjoyable. At times I fee like finding another consenting partner, which would be cheating. What do I do?
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male
reader, Kilcardy  +, writes (13 March 2011):
You don't cheat. How would you feel if the tables were turned? And don't say you'd be fine with your wife stepping out on you, because that's bs. What you do is work on the issue with your wife. You don't wreck a 23 year marriage simply because you "want more" opportunities to cum. You took vows. Honor them. Honor yourself, but mostly honor the woman who has given you her life (23 years is a lifetime). Look around this site. Cheating is never the answer. It makes people literally insane. It is a soul-sucking and destructive thing to do. It shatters everyone involved. So, again, to answer your inquiry, you talk with your wife, get good advice from competent medical and/or mental health professionals, and you work the issue. Don't let the issue work you. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): Happens to us all. The fire in every relationship diminishes with time and it's up to us to try to re-kindle that flame.
What do you do to make love-making special for your wife? Do you have children? Is she working long hours? Is she just too tired? Do you help around the house?
Perhaps she feels the same way? Maybe sex for her with you is no longer good. How is our technique? How have you kept things "interesting"?
This is a two-way street. It's NEVER just about one person. So try to talk to your wife. Don't be accusing (as you are in your question because somehow it's her fault for having less of a sex drive ...). Oh, and a word to the wise, if you tell your wife "it's a biological need" you may find she puts a lock on the bedroom door.
If you make your wife feel that you want sex with her because you need to "empty", you'll make her feel like a trash bin.
You need to go back to basics. What is your role in the house? What is the rest of your relationship like? Do you communicate? Do you both still kiss, cuddle, hold hands? If there are no other signs of affection and attraction why would she want to MAKE LOVE with you. By the way, I deliberately capitalised MAKE LOVE, because it should be about making love, not just the mechanical, biological act of having sex.
So, less accusation and more introspection! Ever thought about wooing your wife?
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