A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Odd one this, involving more me than my relationship but there you go.... Okay so basically I've been with my girlfriend for 5months now, everything is so, so great, chat for hours, always have a laugh and what not: we're very serious. I'm always so happy with her, i've never known anyone else like that. But recently it's when I don't see her that I get seriously worried about us. I worry about next time I'll see her we'll have nothing to talk about or as soon as I left her the other day I was worrying about how we had nothing to talk about: this is despite the fact, we talked for ages. I always feel like I need to phone her (which I don't actually do, be it time management or whatever) so I can reassure myself we have something to talk about and reassure myself how happy she makes me. No doubt when I see her this week it'll be great again. But yeah my main concern is worrying between seeing her: how can I stop that? It seems needless, as I'm in such a great relationship, so why do I do it? Is it perhaps that I love her so much that I'm scared to lose her? These past few weeks I've got exams too so am working quite a lot too, do you think stress has a lot to do with it? I simply want to feel like I'm secure in the relationship as I am: but to FEEL it is what I crave most of all. I know what it's like, I've had it with my ex girlfriend, I never worried or anything. Thing is, I didn't care for her half as much as I do my current partner. This surely shows I am capable of doing it? Many thanks in advance.
View related questions:
ex girlfriend, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFor Jmtmj...
Really depends on what it was like the last time i saw her. For example last week we were in a group (something we're not the biggest fans of, we always feel under pressure to talk to each other, perhaps a sign we're both worriers and over-think things?) but yeah, felt obliged to talk to her and I don't know, despite the fact we were talking more than any other couples there, still felt bad almost immediately after leaving, like I'd forced conversation. But then we were talking fine, having a laugh same as normal. Not just with my girlfriend though I'll add, sometimes with friends I often feel under pressure to talk, I find silence quite uncomfortable, relatively easily.
But if I'm with her at hers or mine and either of us stay over it's totally fine (touch wood. We feel comfortable we can be with each other, in our own homes and it's just more a relaxed environment. Normally when she or I leave then it's great.
A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (6 June 2010):
 When we really care about someone we always worry about losing them. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and we still worry about losing each other. And I see my boyfriend every day, he stays over four nights a week, and I still miss him like hell when he's gone. I guess that is something that comes with all serious relationships and over time you learn how to handle it. Instead of calling her, text her often and only call once a day. Because that way you will be in constant contact and you'll have more to talk about when you do speak. However do bare in mind that at some point most couples come to a quiet or rough patch. But if you learn to overcome it, then that is proof that your relationship is strong.
...............................
A
male
reader, Aubergene +, writes (6 June 2010):
I feel kinda the same as you and the way that I stoped myself from worrying is to go on this website and see if I can help anyone because it makes me feel like I might of actully made a change to somebodys life nomater how small that change might have been.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (5 June 2010):
 It could have something to do with exams, because you really need to relax. Kinda need some more information though. For example, how long does it take you to start getting worried from the time you last saw/spoke to her? A few hours? A day? Days? Weeks?
Also, ask yourself why you worry, there has to be a reason. For example, if you leave the iron on at home while you're out or you leave your care unlocked, you worry because there's good reason to worry. So whats your reason for worrying so much? Did your ex do things behind your back? Has anything that your girlfriend done suggested that she's untrustworthy?
If you really can't think of a reason for you to be worried... then why worry?? Its pointless.
Best of luck :)
...............................
A
female
reader, furkplo  +, writes (5 June 2010):
I think that it's the stress you're going under which makes you feel insecure about your relationship and your feelings.
You should relax and enjoy the fact that the girl you love loves you back. Enjoy the relationship every second that goes by, really.
You worry yourself with questions like "do I love her enough?", when it's pretty obvious that if you didn't love her, you wouldn't be worried.
With time, your "doubts" will disappear.
I am sure you both will always have something to talk about. And if you ever don't... well, you don't need to talk while you make out! Lol!
...............................
|
