A
female
age
30-35,
*rc5404
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. When I first started dating him I was dealing with a lot of issues from a sexual assault and being really self conscience about anything sexual. I didn't enjoy anything he did to me no matter how much he tried to please me. Even I didn't enjoy things I still made sure to take care of him and his desire. Now I have mostly gotten over the issues from the past with counseling and am ready to explore my sexual pleasures with him but h just doesn't seem to want to give me the attention I need, especially when it comes to oral. I have always been willing to do it to him and he used to be to me but now its just not there. I have tried to explain to him my needs but he just doesn't catch on. I have done everything except demand it but he isn't that great at it. I am tired of giving and not receiving. How can I say I want it be he needs some practice nicely without hurting his manhood? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Myrrh  +, writes (11 June 2010):
 Hi. Well done for working towards recovery! If your boyfriend is out of practice, its understandable. Why not try a 69 and make that the norm for a while rather than just giving him a bj. That way you wont feel neglected while hes having fun. And remember youve been doing this sort of thing for him for a while, so you will know how to please him. He still has to learn what you like. And he wont know unless you tell him. So dont be shy about it. Describe how you would like it done so he knows. You could do that in sexy texts so he has an idea of what youcwould like before hand. Tell him what feels good when hes doing it and just encourage him with praise when he gets it right. The key is for you not to be shy about it. He sounds like a good un, having been by your side while youve recovered from the abuse. All the best to you both x
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (11 June 2010):
 i dont think hes into it i think you killed it for him, if he was into you he would catch on unfortunately when he was ready you werent now your ready and he doesnt care, you seem sexually in compatible. you could try being a little more aggressive do it in a playful way tell him what you want and and let him kno if hes not dong it rite dont worry about his man hood im sure he will manage lol women always bring that up they must thnk our manhood is made from paper masche no matter what you say to him at the end hell be in bar tellng his buddies he put you to bed.
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A
male
reader, kumarsaanu  +, writes (11 June 2010):
i m also a cross dresser from gujrat india..thats not wrongs..when i m just 5 years old..i liked girlish things...when i m alone in my house..i like totally girly things..i like wear saree salwar kameez lahanga chunri ..skirt top...& fully makeup like nailpolish payals bangles nacklesh lipistik maskara eyeliner bindiya sindoor earrings nosering &choti...so no tension 4 ur husband habbit...always support her....
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (11 June 2010):
 You know, I hear it so much that women are afraid of hurting a guy's manhood to ask for what they want, but men don't have a single problem asking and insisting on that which makes them feel the most good. Why do you think many times that sex is one-sided?
On the contrary, demanding what you want and how you want it is a turn on for men who want to please their women. Insisting on reciprocity is as simple as getting yours first before giving oral. Would a job give you a paycheck before you worked for it? Nope. So why do women offer up every gratification before getting their own deposit into the emotional and sexual bank?
Go get yours! If he starts a fight or sulks, just go do something else! But I don't think he will.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (11 June 2010):
 He's tried to please you countless times and he would have been able to tell that you didn't enjoy it. So you wouldn't have kicked up a fuss when he finally gave up trying to please you. He's had the benefit of release without having to reciprocate for a long time and its going to be an uphill battle for you now...
Don't say anything about him needing practice!!! Just try to guide him more by making sounds when he's doing something right and he'll pick it up. It'll be teaching him without him really knowing he's being taught. You need to let him know what you like, just not necessarily with words. When things are heating up, simply pushing him downstairs gently is more effective than you might think. Reward: he gets sex or some derivative and gets to see that you actually like sex now, Punishment: just kissing. Harsh, but what what the hell, he had a good run :)
Best of luck
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