A
female
age
36-40,
*ueeny_24
writes:Ok, so I spilt with my boyf of 6 years about 3 months ago due to the fact that he was not willing to make an effort with finding a job or do anything constructive with his time. In the time we were together I got a BSc degree while he did nothing. Also around 3 months ago i started seeing this guy who swept me off my feet. So considerate, attentive to my needs and really loving- something i also felt i wasn't getting from my previous relationship.He texted me every day and i was always going around to his house for dinner which he'd cooked from scratch. We'd watch movies, he'd stroke my hair and face and told me that he cared about me alot.So as you can see everything has been going great with this this new guy, however this is where it gets a bit tricky. Before I knew this guy me and now ex had a holiday booked. Due to not wanting to lose out on sooo much money (and i had looked into changing names on tickets however proved expensive) we just thought we would go and get it out of the way. I told new guy as i thought I want to be honest with him so he knows i'm trustworthy. He texted me later in the day to basically say that he didn't want to go any further as he felt like he was standing in the way of me and ex getting back together. he thought that maybe we needed hols to sort everything out and after it would be fine btw me and ex. I have so tried to convince him that this hol is not about us getting back together (just didn't want to lose money, and that I have worked hard all yr and want a break) The new guy initially said to phone him wen I get back off hols then in another of his texts said that actually he wont be waiting for me and that its time for us to move on. He says he been thru previous relationship breakdowns and it takes time to get over stuff.I know this is such a horrible thing for him to go thru but i miss him loads and he says he misses me but thinks his doing the right thing. he hasn't text me in 2 days and has deleted me off facebook. Should I not contact him until i get back even though he said he wont be there (as i think his hurting so maybe shock tactics). His so stubborn, but i no this is right and dont want to lose him. What should I do??
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): do what is right for what you started ...........when done ... THINK OF WHAT YOU HAVE .......then see if all you acomplished is worth youre next step ..........
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (11 June 2010):
 Going on a holiday with an ex whom you dated for 6 years?? That's just a recipe for disaster and I'd have done exactly the same thing in his situation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): If you love him don't go on the holiday. He is really upset about you doing this. Either go on the hols and contact him when you get back telling him how awful it was / how you had nothing in common anymore etc etc and try to win him round or just don't go.
I personally would dump the person if they went on holiday with the ex whatever the reason.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 June 2010):
Too late, you have lost him. I know you didn't want to lose the money and the holiday, but really you should have taken the hit if you wanted this guy. No matter what you say, or how you try to explain it, from any interested guy's point of view this is a bad sign. You split up, but then go on holiday with your ex. That looks bad. And I'm sure if you really look at it, you can see why he ended it. This guy was not taking a chance that he was either a rebound or just someone who was there to make the ex jealous. He's not being stubborn, he's just calling it as he sees it. And he saw you going on holiday with your ex. You chose the holiday, and the price is that you lost this guy. You've no choice but to move on.
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