A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Do you ever notice that you attract a certain type of person?I wonder about that, if anyone else seems to find themselves attractive to the same type of person over and over again. I won't describe the type I've been attracting just because I don't want to offend. BUT, a friend of mine noticed as well, and she did say that I APPEAR to be a "domestic" type of person, and maybe that's why. (I am NOT the domestic type...)I know that I myself am attracted to a certain type, good or bad. So it COULD be true that the inverse is true, but what are the chances of that. That out of a sea of people the same type keep coming over....And if this is true, how to get out of this, or fix it! (I do NOT like the type I'm supposedly attracting...especially if it's because of what appears to be this "domestic" quality. Yuck!) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2010): Hi, I'm the op. Thanks for all your comments and insight!!
But I am so not attracted to this type that keeps coming up over and over again, so I don't think that it's that I'M drawn to them (And no it's not the Amish! That is quite hilarious). Well, just to clarify, these guys are usually the type to be VERY domineering and old-fashioned (they want me to sit down, shut up, and stay in the kitchen and drop babies).
But that's true, reading all your comments together. I never bothered to take note, but I'll try to figure out where I'm meeting people like this (and never go there again!) because maybe it's where I am. I don't know if I'll ever decipher exactly what I'm doing though. All I know is I want NONE of that...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): It's not that you attract a certain type of guy, it's that you find a certain type of guy attractive. Example: The woman who always complains about how she attracts arrogant jerks, but won't give the time of day to any guy who's not built like a pro athlete. She's the sister of the "nice guy" who laments always finishing last, but won't give the time of day to any woman that doesn't look like a swimsuit model.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): I don't think so. The boyfriends I have been out with and 2 husbands especially were very different from each other.
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (9 June 2010):
 q! I think that was my ex mother-in-law!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): i see what you mean, i seem to attract guys with black or dark hair, green eyes but never skinny, they are always at least a bit chubby haha
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (9 June 2010):
 I think a lot of people are going to be confused by what you are asking, but I think I understand. You are asking if a person can attract the same type of person continuously, right? I don't think it works like that. Usually you attract the same type of person because you put yourself in the same type of situations throughout your life. For example, a girl can complain that she only attracts drunk jerks but if she only hangs out in trashy bars than that's all she's going to continue to attract.
This isn't to be confused with a person's type. Men and women due have a "type", for example: while a guy is attracted to all kinds of women, a short brunette may be his type.... a girl he favors over the rest. That doesn't mean he only likes that type, it's just more of an automatic attraction.
As far as you fixing who you attract? That's usually more of a lifestyle change. I'm not saying you hang out in trashy bars like the example I gave early on, but if you keep attracting men in certain places, maybe it's time to try some new places.
All I can say is there isn't some sort of cosmic magnet about you that only attracts a certain type of guy. As far as having a domestic quality? Well one type of guy doesn't just like that, all types could.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2010): Yeah it's true that we attract the same type of person. It all depends on the behaviour we exhibit in social situations and also our appearance and style.
I have a female friend that ALWAYS attracts only two types of men. When she goes out drinking she always dresses in skimpy outfits and acts in a very wild and trashy manner, in this circumstance she only attracts the kind of guys that are sleazy and looking for an easy lay.
In normal life though she is very reserved, insecure and over emotional, although I'm hesitant to do so, describing her as 'damaged' fits perfectly because she has some very serious issues. So in her day to day life, she only attracts the obssessive loner type, the kind that want to fix her and will follow her around doing everything they can for her, disguised as friendship, hoping that if they do, she will fall in love with them but they always end up trying to isolate her further and create a situation where she needs them. They tend to be very jealous of any other person in her life that might jeapordize their attempt at creating a 'special bond'.
Look at what kind of behaviours you exhibit that attract tis kind of guy, if your friend says you seem the domestic type then that is the behaviour you exhibit and perhaps you might wanna re-examine how you behave and what you do.
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A
female
reader, Liza999  +, writes (9 June 2010):
 Watch your thoughts about this! Write down what you believe you are attracting that you don't want and then burn that piece of paper ! Write down what you do want to attract in your life and focus on that! What you focus on and believe will come in!
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (9 June 2010):
 Its hard to know what you can do to fix this without knowing what type you attract. All I know is that if you keep doing what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten... I can't say I've ever fallen for someone for their domestic quality... who are you attracting? The Amish??
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