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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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I don't know if my girl is being genuine and faithful to me
Q. First of all, thank you for taking the time out of your life to hear and possibly help mine. This is a really long and possibly boring story, but it's a story that I need to be looked at and told what to possibly do. It's driving me crazy. Comments ...
A. 21 November 2010: I dated a bi-polar woman on/off for a few years and I could easily write a novel on it, but at the end of the day dude, either you're gonna come to your senses or ya ain't...
So my advice remains...
Run... fast... she's toxic for you. ... (read in full...)
Who should hold whose hand first?
Q. I'm 14 and my bf is 15. On the first date I was very shy, and I know he was nevrous. After we went home, he sms-ed me said he wanted to hold my hand but he thinks I may slap him. On the next date should I let him hold my hand or should I hold his ...
A. 21 November 2010: Hahaha! I also 100% agree with Vintage64... dear god... am I a "yes-man"??!!
How good were the days when all you had to worry about was holding hands... Bliss. ... (read in full...)
What does sexually active mean?
Q. the question says it all really what does it mean to be sexually active...
A. 21 November 2010: The key difference is the wording...
If someone asks ARE you sexually active.
versus
If someone asks you HAVE you BEEN sexually active.
From a medical viewpoint the first statement is asking if you're having sex regularly or have ... (read in full...)
Who should hold whose hand first?
Q. I'm 14 and my bf is 15. On the first date I was very shy, and I know he was nevrous. After we went home, he sms-ed me said he wanted to hold my hand but he thinks I may slap him. On the next date should I let him hold my hand or should I hold his ...
A. 21 November 2010: 100% agree with followtheblackrabbit.... (read in full...)
What ever happened to communication?
Q. Having been here for a while now, I see consistancy in many of the problems people who come here face. One major problem, although it isn't usually the one that brought them here, is communication. Communication is usually the underlying problem ...
A. 21 November 2010: Keep up the articles bro, this stuff needs to be said!!
The opinions of strangers as mediators is only so useful...
Trying to interpret a stranger's partner's thoughts or feelings really is nothing more than self-biased conjecture at the end o... (read in full...)
I know he's not shy so why does he stare but not talk to me?
Q. I like this boy in my class for 3 years now. It's not until this year I started to notice that he stares at me. Even my friend realizes this to and she only knows I like him because she kept asking me and I kept saying no and my facial expression ...
A. 21 November 2010: It's impossible for us (random strangers) to know whether he was staring or not... but regardless of whether he was or not here's something to think about...
It's not the guys "duty" to initiate conversation... so ya can't whinge that he hasn't t... (read in full...)
What does sexually active mean?
Q. the question says it all really what does it mean to be sexually active...
A. 21 November 2010: It means you're having sex regularly... more or less.... (read in full...)
Free sites on body language?
Q. anyone know any free sites on body language and psychology or something that could help me with my studies in that field it could really be of great use to me thanks...
A. 21 November 2010: Are these personal interest studies or educational studies? If its for personal interest then yeh, google is your best bet. ... (read in full...)
Should Guys pay for everything on a date?
Q. So here's a question for everyone. When you're on a date with your girlfriend, does the guy have to pay for everything? I mean sure, it's nice if he did, but is there a rule that says that guy's have to pay everytime? Like when I go out w...
A. 21 November 2010: As long as you pay at least half, it doesn't really matter. Though paying for everything on a FIRST date can really make a good impression on some girls in my experience... just don't become a cash-cow. ... (read in full...)
He hacked my facebook!!!???
Q. Dear cupid ,my boyfriend is very jealous and today he went to tha extream of hacking my facebook because he thought i was cheating.when he went on there he saw that i asked a male friend if theyd missed me and he fliiped out!!! he also saw that i ...
A. 21 November 2010: Some people just don't seem to grasp how bad snooping really is... they can think something along the lines of "I've got suspicions, so I have a right to do this"...
Hacking your facebook is pretty extreme, but if you guys use the same computer... (read in full...)
I don't know if my girl is being genuine and faithful to me
Q. First of all, thank you for taking the time out of your life to hear and possibly help mine. This is a really long and possibly boring story, but it's a story that I need to be looked at and told what to possibly do. It's driving me crazy. Comments ...
A. 20 November 2010: Run... fast... she's toxic for you. ... (read in full...)
My sister wants us to have group sex
Q. Has anyone had sex in the same room as another couple, and if so why? My sister wants me to do this in her room while she makes love to her boyfriend on a separate bed. She won't say why she wants it like that....
A. 20 November 2010: Maybe her boyfriend is pulling the strings on this one?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not celebrate X-Mas and I'm hurt by his apparent disregard to my my feelings
Q. Me and my boyfriend are on the verge of breaking up over this.. He doesn't celebrate xmas, he's not from the UK, but he knows how important it is for my family to be around each other at that time, and this year has been one hell of a difficul...
A. 20 November 2010: "Iv tried explaining how I feel, iv tried reasoning , iv Tried persuasion, iv cried and iv screamed at him. I guess the worst thing is even if he does come now, the day will be ruined cos I know I'm forcing him.
Please help guys I'm really h... (read in full...)
He wants a second chance after cheating on me but all he talks about is sex, is he just using me?
Q. Me and my boyfriend had a little problem, he went really weird with me and he didnt speak to me for a while, i'd never usually speak first but i started making more of an effort with him and he then began ignoring me, i then caught him cheating and ...
A. 19 November 2010: CaringGuy is right, he's a teenage boy- of course he's after sex. ... (read in full...)
Is my ex mentally ill and dangerous?
Q. why does my ex bf breakup, forget me for long time then out of the blue appear when i get a new bf and then disappears out of the blue when i forget about my new bf for him???? This happened 4 times. I know its part my fault but why does he keep ...
A. 19 November 2010: Well I could only speculate, but he certainly has control issues and only wants what he can't have. When you seem unattainable, he feels the need to prove that he can still get you and be in control. Its more or less normal human psychology to ... (read in full...)
This relationship is turning me into someone that I hate!
Q. For the past 4 years I have been involved in the most exhausting relationship ever, and I have been married before when I was really young. I am 28 years old and I feel like this relationship is turning me into someone I hate. I have always been...
A. 19 November 2010: My suggestion is that you see a doctor and bring up your general concerns, depression, possible mood disorder.
It can't hurt.
Same with odds, I'm curious as to what kind of personality your boyfriend has and whether he is genuinely do... (read in full...)
Flirting with my daughter's friend, old enough to be his mom!
Q. My daughters boyfriend is 20... iam 42 and have a son older than him. I really liked him so allowed him to go on vacation with us. A few months later my daughter in a joking manner said that he wanted me..........we laughed it off as a joke. It is ...
A. 19 November 2010: Stop putting yourself in situations where things can happen with this boy if you can't control yourself!!
Being blunt, this is despicable behavior. You're betraying your own daughter. You need to distance yourself from him, STUFF KEEPING ... (read in full...)
I don't know how I can get married in the next month?
Q. My fiance contact his ex wife to say goodbye yesterday after they separated 5 months ago.I don't know how I can get married in next month? Please help me. My husband contacted his ex wife recently to say that forgive me for all things that happ...
A. 19 November 2010: Hang on a minute... what are you doing getting engaged to him after he's only 5 months ago come out of a 7 year marriage???
Slow things down, get to know him better and make sure you're not just a rebound. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to hurt her during sex, is this normal?
Q. MOD NOTE: 2 posts combined ive been in a relationship for a year and 4 months now and my girlfriend has changed in terms of our sex life. she keeps asking me for 'punishment sex' and when we are having sex she tells me to hurt her and make her blee...
A. 19 November 2010: Just don't do anything that you're not overly uncomfortable with. I'd be really concerned about using blades in the bedroom personally.
Doing stuff that disgusts you in order to turn her on is not really a line you are obliged to cross. ... (read in full...)
I have crush and I think he likes me back. Help!
Q. Let me tell you a little bit about me and him. I'm 16, he's 26. I had him last year, now I have him again my junior year for U.S. History. Last year when I had him I didn't think much about him at all to be honest. Towards the end of the schoo...
A. 19 November 2010: Does it really matter? Nothing can happen and hopefully you can see that. It's perfectly normal to have crushes on teachers... as long as they stay that way. ... (read in full...)
My husband always talks about how hot porn stars are.
Q. my husband watches porn. we have a great sex life. but when he watches porn he says comments like, o look at that big ass, mm those boobs are huge or her pussy looks good i want to fuck it. he says he loves me and loves my body. why would he say ...
A. 18 November 2010: Have you talked to him about it?... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend doesn't appreciate me! What can I say to him that I havent said already?
Q. i feel like i'm unappreciated. i always organise days out with my boyfriend and i always sort out tickets and transport and times. he just says yes! but he when it comes down to paying, all he does again is say yes.. he never actually p...
A. 18 November 2010: You're accusing him of being a mooch when he pays 80% of the time?! Oh the irony.
Wake up and stop being so selfish or he may just get on that bike of his and never come back. ... (read in full...)
All 4 of my ex's want me back! Who do I choose?
Q. Okay i have been single for a while, i had been together with 4 girls in life.All pretty and nice girls. One or more circumstances made them leave me. Now they are all single and want me again. I dont know what to do. I mean i am not seeing anyone ...
A. 18 November 2010: American girl :D... (read in full...)
He made a joke about fancying my daughter and now I don't want him near her!
Q. I started a relationship with a 35 year old guy last year who doesnt have much experience with women. He is close to his mum and sister and her children but apart from that has always lived alone, has never been pubbing or clubbing and only has a ...
A. 18 November 2010: Honestly, I think you're being a bit paranoid here and frankly a bit unfair on him. You make it sound like he told you he thought your daughter had a nice ass. He was trying to alleviate your fears by saying he DIDN'T fancy her. You said yourself ... (read in full...)
I want to go out with friends on my birthday and now she's threatening to break up with me!
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for 6 years now. Since the beginning she's always been hard to deal with when a disagreement arises, and she always refuses to compromise. It seems to me that she blames every fight on a failure on my part. Most ...
A. 18 November 2010: "How can I make her realize how unfair that is?"
You can't whilst you keep apologizing for things that are not your fault... if at all. I know you think you're simply minimizing the fall out, silent treatment, arguments, sarcasm etc. but what you... (read in full...)
Girlfriend constantly wants me to chose her over my family!
Q. My girlfriend continually demands that I choose her over my family, and refuses to compromise about the issue. She comes from a broken family, and has picked fights with my mom, sister, and brother over menial issues. She demands that I take her ...
A. 18 November 2010: Tell her its very important to you that she at least tries to get along with your family and you're not going to tolerate hostility towards them.
At the end of the day bro, women come and go, but family will stick with you. If she continue... (read in full...)
Why does he make me wait and feel like an idiot?
Q. Hi - I cannot make sense of this situation and i do not know how to handle it. We had a relationship for several months. He live abroad and started to freak out because we became really involved. Too much really. So naturally we stopped to see e...
A. 18 November 2010: Just send another email saying you have to organize your schedule. You only sent the email yesterday, that's not exactly a hanging offense. ... (read in full...)
Why don't my parents want me to grow up?
Q. I'm 23 and still living at home. I envy my cousins who are in their twenties and have children with their partners out of wedlock. My parents are really conservative and I'm not. They think that you have to be married just to leave home! I ...
A. 18 November 2010: Their house, their rules... don't like it? Move out. I'm struggling to see how its any more complicated than that. ... (read in full...)
I'm so obsessed with his ex girlfriend I have made friends with her!
Q. Let's see where this gets me, if anywhere... I've written here in the past quite a few times, always inquiring about the same thing, only now the situation has changed drastically, but my feelings still haunt me. My fiance is 23, and I am 21. We ...
A. 18 November 2010: You're playing with fire here...... (read in full...)
I get upset by things I make up in my own head! How do I stop doing this so I don't lose him?
Q. I don't even know where to began... This WILL seem like all over the place but I'll try my best to make sense of it. It's SO long too but it's SO SO SO important to me and will affect my life deeply!! I am lost in my own little world in my head...
A. 18 November 2010: Whoah Nelly!! This is a dude you've been dating for 3 months... SLOW DOWN! Thinking he's going to be the one you are going to marry is going to place WAY too much pressure on this relationship and your expectations of him to be too high- too soon. ... (read in full...)
Caught by her dad in a compromising position, what do I do now?
Q. I just had sex with my girlfriend...she consented to it of course but... we're both 16 and we did it in her dad's office. we did it when everybody was out and her dad came back earlier than expected...she got caught with me in an awkward position ...
A. 18 November 2010: Is he still banging on the door trying to get in while you type this under a desk? Please say yes, if only for the mental picture I've got right now :)
... (read in full...)
Just friendly or genuinely interested...how can I know?
Q. Can a man still be classed as 'just being friendly/really nice' if he is asking a woman lots of things about her interests and remembering most of what she says. Also, the man in question makes time/goes out of his way to take me home from work w...
A. 18 November 2010: He could just be being courteous, friendly and enjoy your company. There's nothing that really indicates to me that he's interested in more here... but then again there's nothing to indicate that he couldn't be interested :D
Ya gotta take a risk t... (read in full...)
Pull and pray!
Q. He said he pulled out befor anything happened.. is that effective? what does that even mean? ...
A. 18 November 2010: Err... are you a dude? Either way, pulling out doesn't protect you from std's whatsoever. ... (read in full...)
How do I ignite the fire again?
Q. I honestly have no idea what to do. My boyfriend of 8 years (on and off) says he doesn’t feel the spark when we kiss anymore. We are both 21, and when we were 12 we met. He doesn’t feel like he could see us in the future and the pain is killing me ...
A. 18 November 2010: "He doesn't see us in the future together."
I agree with anon... I think you should let him go. When you can't see a future with your partner anymore that's pretty much the beginning of the end in my opinion. If he wants to go out, meet and date... (read in full...)
I gotta feeling..He wants a threesome!
Q. Well i just talked to my boyfriend and he says he is perfectly happy with me and our relationship. But i kinda get the feeling that he wants to bring another girl into our relationship because he keeps talking about it. such as asking me questions ...
A. 18 November 2010: Make your stance on this very clear if he stops "suggesting" and starts "asking".... (read in full...)
He's lost interest in our casual deal!
Q. Hi, so i've been seeing this guy for 2 months now and even though it's a very casual deal between us he was very intense about me at the beggining. I kind of did some damage and he didn't want anything to do with me after.. however he forgave me and ...
A. 18 November 2010: What exactly was this "damage" that you did? ... (read in full...)
Sweet dreams are made of these..
Q. I normally don't dream anything normal. But this black and white one was very close to real.br / I have been crushing on a beautiful person who helps me unconditionally when I ask for it. Yes, he does go the extra mile for me during my stressfu...
A. 17 November 2010: Its just a dream... its scaring me how many people don't seem to understand what dreams actually are.
But if you choose to believe they have external meaning then look up a dream dictionary on google.... (read in full...)
I don't want to make him feel like he has to stay!
Q. My sort of ex-fiance, my first love, and I are very.. i need help. Not long after I gave him my virginity, 6days after to be exact, he asked me for a break. About a couple weeks after that, I learned I may be pregnant, and I talked to him about it ...
A. 17 November 2010: MAY be pregnant?? What are you basing that on? Late period or doctors opinion?... (read in full...)
Why do women get freaky on guys they don't love, but not with guys they do?
Q. I found out in cleaning out some old files on a unused computer that my GF had a much wilder and mind blowing sex life with her ex before me than she previously described. This mate was mainly a fuck buddy, but they were friends for a few years ...
A. 17 November 2010: There's a fair few theories out there, an interesting one is that men fall into two categories, either "lover" or "provider". It's based on evolutionary biology and while interesting, its all speculative evidence and a bit wishy-washy... so ya ... (read in full...)
Can someone please explain why he keeps on being a jerk but he still keeps on contacting me?
Q. I've posted about this situation before but things keep happening and I am at a loss. So to recap, I met this guy on a dating site and we dated 2 months until he ended it with me. Things were really great at the beginning but about a month into it, ...
A. 17 November 2010: Just block him.... (read in full...)
How come she doesn't make me feel special anymore?
Q. I need some serious advice. I'm down in the dumps by my own doing and feel like I can't seem to get going anymore. I treating my ex gf like crap and was such a selfish asshole that I think I have lost her for good. I regret my ignorance. I broke up ...
A. 17 November 2010: Sorry dude, but you've lost her for good... she's moving on... I suggest you do the same.
Come back to earth buddy. ... (read in full...)
Should I continue to chase after her? Or let it be and she can chase the guy she likes?
Q. we were always together;we take same class, go on breaks together, and eat together at break time... she walks up to me today... she... Deon... me ... ya whats sup she... you know your actually my best friend in this campus... me....
A. 17 November 2010: I think she already knows you like her dude. If she's serious about religious differences then I wouldn't chase her if I were you.
If that's a deal-breaker for her then there really is nothing you can do about it. ... (read in full...)
My ex barged in on my date, and now he doesn't want to get involved with me! Do I try and win him back or let him go?
Q. It's a long story, so i'll try my best to cut it down for you! (Thank you for reading!) I was in a relationship for 9 years (since i was 16) with someone i thought was my soulmate. I admit, it was on and off for the most part as he cheated on me, a...
A. 17 November 2010: Christmas really ain't that far away and if the intensity of your chemistry is as strong as you say, I wouldn't worry too much. But you need to put your ex in his place and tell him to back off and move on.... (read in full...)
No physical relationship - what to do?
Q. My wife is emotionally dead towards me. We have been married for 9 years and have a four year old child. We used to be very affectionate together, but now our sex life is non existent, she won't hug or hold me and we never kiss. If I try to, I a...
A. 17 November 2010: CaringGuy is spot on. You can't make this work alone.
Can you honestly see this turning around when she's asking you why should you want to make her unhappy by forcing affection on her. What a load of crap!
I'm curious... when did she sto... (read in full...)
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