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A devastating break-up with a bi-polar woman sparked my current fascination with psychology, mind-games, intentions and everything the quirky fandango that is "relationships" entails. I'm a bit of an over-thinker, enjoy playful disagreements just for interesting conversation and will speak my mind on this site whether you like what I have to say or not.
I don't offer advice, just my opinion and right, wrong or deluded, I'll give you my opinion whether you're 13 or 70...
I know all too well that love can blind you, but the agony aunts can help you see things clearly, however there's no guarantee that you'll like what you see...
So will you take the red pill or the blue pill...?
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| Latest articles: An opportunity to say hello to all the long term Aunts and Uncles and an update
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2016: Its been a long time since logging in here, regrettably I do so now to procrastinate an assignment... But hey! lets not let that small detail belittle the moment ;) I'd like to say a big thank you to anyone who is still here from back in the day....
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No physical relationship - what to do?
Q. My wife is emotionally dead towards me. We have been married for 9 years and have a four year old child. We used to be very affectionate together, but now our sex life is non existent, she won't hug or hold me and we never kiss. If I try to, I a...
A. 17 November 2010: CaringGuy is spot on. You can't make this work alone.
Can you honestly see this turning around when she's asking you why should you want to make her unhappy by forcing affection on her. What a load of crap!
I'm curious... when did she sto... (read in full...)
He has broken up with me 15 times in the last 2 years!
Q. hi im 22 years old and my boyfriend is 25, iv'e been with him for about 2 years there's something really wrong with him. in the past 2 years he's broke up with me about 15 times and his exuse is im scared of getting hurt... i keep telling him im not ...
A. 17 November 2010: Leave. For good.... (read in full...)
I know I should leave him after his affairs and lies, but I don't want my son to come from a broken home
Q. ok so as you can see rom my other posts I have had a really hard relationship with my boyfriend from the beginning, I will just give you a brief run down. We met in march 2009, he cheated on me within 2 weeks with his ex, then in july I feel pre...
A. 17 November 2010: Why on earth you'd want to be with him still is beyond me...
Stay with this man and things may be fine for a while, but it'll inevitably become a broken home... At least by leaving him you'll have a chance at meeting someone who you might ac... (read in full...)
I have a strange feeling he is not entirely over his ex!
Q. Hi, i am dating a guy for 7 months now, for about a month we started living together. He says he loves me and really takes care of me. Also he works a lot and whenever he is free he spends his time with me. The problem is, that in spite of all i f...
A. 17 November 2010: You'll drive yourself mad with this line of thinking... he was with her for 8 years, of course she's gonna have a small place in his heart. But nothing you've said suggests that any funny business is going on with her or that it will.
Stop ... (read in full...)
How can I show that I do trust him?
Q. He thinks I don't trust him, and says a relationship without trust is nothing and so we are over. I'm devastated. I think I do trust him, but have been cautious along the way in case things don't work out. If I have a trust issue, it's not ...
A. 17 November 2010: If its your money, why wouldn't the car be in your name? That's not a trust issue... that's just being sensible and logical.
It may have just been the straw that broke the camels back... are there more instances of mistrust that you're overlook... (read in full...)
I feel like I have been abandoned by my friends and family when I need them most
Q. I am feeling so sad and depressed. This has been a bad year with deaths, son being in jail, being sick, getting fired, etc. I feel like I have been abandoned by my friends and family when I need them most. Maybe I feel it was one-sided and ev...
A. 17 November 2010: I think there's more to this story... it doesn't quite add up. Why would people defriend you on facebook because you got fired and were sick? ... (read in full...)
He said he really liked me, slept with me and said he would leave his girlfriend for me, but that never happened! Why did he do this?
Q. So I travelled to France with a study abroad program this summer. We were all assigned 'buddies' and mine seemed very sweet and helpful. I rarely saw him and eventually found out he had a girlfriend who had the same name as me. I was shocked that he ...
A. 17 November 2010: "I don't know why he'd do that do me if he claims he really liked me this much and slept with me."
Some guys will say anything to get sex... Learn from this.
He's a scumbag. ... (read in full...)
Do guys like it when girls get really wet during sex?
Q. Hi. This is my first time on this site, and I can't believe how helpful it has been! My question is: Do guys like it when girls get really wet before/while having sex? I ask this because I tend to get very turned on during sex, and get really ...
A. 17 November 2010: I think its great :D
Keep paper towels nearby for him if he wants, but I hope you don't mean that you'd be dabbing yourself DURING sex...... (read in full...)
He doesn't like my flat bustline...help!
Q. My partner and I have been together 3 yrs and I thought our relationship was ok. Out of the blue he said that when he made love to me it was like doing it with a little boy. He wont explain what he means, I've had 4 kids and havent got much of a ...
A. 16 November 2010: 'Funny you say that. I was thinking the same thing about you.'
Hahaha! You're ice cold quiet-echo... :)... (read in full...)
He doesn't like my flat bustline...help!
Q. My partner and I have been together 3 yrs and I thought our relationship was ok. Out of the blue he said that when he made love to me it was like doing it with a little boy. He wont explain what he means, I've had 4 kids and havent got much of a ...
A. 16 November 2010: Ouch... well that was super insensitive of him wasn't it... I can't even think of a reason why he would possibly say this to you...
... (read in full...)
I can't trust him because he let me down! Am I being irrational here?
Q. I am currently engaged to a man seven years older than I, and we've been together for three years. About a year and a half ago, my father passed away from a long-term illness. My fiancée knew my father, and of his illness, and that time was qu...
A. 16 November 2010: I bet if he was given the chance to go back in time and do things differently then he would... but he can't. Perhaps he didn't grasp just how important this was to you or just how close to death your father really was... has he ever lost anyone ... (read in full...)
He flirts with her all the time and I feel like second best here! What should I do?
Q. Dear cupid, my boyfriend has this female friend hes always flirting with. ever since the beginning of our relationship it has been causing serious problems..ive even broke up with him over leaving flirtatious picture comments on her profile.he ...
A. 16 November 2010: He won't change.
... (read in full...)
Spicing up your sex life!
Q. Sight is a major part of good lovemaking. Look after your skin, use moisturisers, dont overdo the makeup, unless you are being a character in a little sexual scenario you are playing out together. Your hair must always be utterly clean. Who wants to ...
A. 16 November 2010: Forget candles?? I'd think setting fire to the covers would certainly help to spice things up in the bedroom. Good article... now I just need to find a way to nonchalantly get my girl to stumble across this, maybe I could print it out and put it i... (read in full...)
How do I make her see that we should give it a go?
Q. How do i get the girl i have been in love with for the last 2 years. she said that she thinks that we are to good of friends but i think we should just try it out and see what happenes...
A. 15 November 2010: Game-over dude... sorry, but that's just the way the cookie crumbles.... (read in full...)
Am I being too much of a tease? And how should I let him know that I want to take things slowly?
Q. ok so been on 6 dates with this guy- im 21, hes 22-- have no intention of getting more intimate until much later on in the relationship (im a virgin and believe in waiting until love)... but last night we were making out on his bed (all clothes on) ...
A. 15 November 2010: If he gets an erection its not your duty to "take care of it".
Take it as slow as you like... its more fun anyways :)... (read in full...)
What did having a threesome do to your relationship?
Q. Hi there. I am really interested to know if there is anyone on this site who has tried threesomes. I am not talking about trying for the first time or thinking about it - but am interested in hearing from people who can look back on the experience ...
A. 15 November 2010: Worst thing I ever did, if I could erase it from my memory I would... pressured into it by my then girlfriend and another girl, what could go wrong eh?
Everything.... (read in full...)
He has a restraining order against me yet he waves at me when we pass on the street!
Q. My ex has a restraining order against me, and is now waving when we pass on the road. what's up? This is a person that told me at the end of our relationship that he never loved me and he wanted nothing to do with me again....
A. 15 November 2010: He's being civil... is that a bad thing?... (read in full...)
"If You Really Loved Me you will.....
Q. Hello ladies and gentlemen I'm here to ask you a question. How many of you have been on a relationship where your bf/gf has pressured you to do something you REALLY didn't want to do and they would tell you "If you really loved me, you'll..." and ...
A. 15 November 2010: "What about "If you really loved me then you would accept my sexual past"? Do we get to criticize this type of manipulative emotional blackmail too?"
This isn't a gender orientated attack dude, three times this post implies that this is a unisex... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to chase him out my house?
Q. Hey guys, I just wanted some advice from you guys because I just had a quarrel with my boyfriend. He has been appearing very tired whenever we meet up recently because of his hectic final year project. Yesterday, when he came to my ...
A. 15 November 2010: He already called you to apologize... calling him now wouldn't be needy. Maybe you could just mention that you are sorry if he took offense... might smooth things over for both of you.... (read in full...)
I need some advice on how to handle this guilt I'm feeling.
Q. I need some advice on how to handle this guilt I'm feeling. I'm overwhelmed with guilt for breaking up my boyfriend's family and hurting his children and ex wife. Our affair was brief, only a little over a weeks time before he stated he couldn't do ...
A. 15 November 2010: While I can't really relate to your situation, I will point out what struck me whilst reading this...
Normally I don't look highly upon cheaters, let alone sympathize with them. But you sound to me like a good and normally very morale person. ... (read in full...)
Is euphoria necessary for love?
Q. I am in a bit of a strange situation and need to know if there is anything I can do to straighten it out. My very good friend and I were dating for almost a year. Earlier this year he broke up with me stating that he cared for me but he wasn't "d...
A. 15 November 2010: I don't think that euphoria (butterflies) is necessary for love, but personally I don't think you'll be able to change him from feeling this way no matter what you do- not in the long term anyways...
He could have unrealistic, romantic... (read in full...)
My boyfriend met my ex and really liked him but doesn't know he's my ex. Do I tell him??
Q. I met two guys at the same time last year. They don't know each other. I went out with guy A but didn't feel that 'spark.' Then guy B asked me out and the spark was definitely there. So I stopped seeing guy A and started seeing guy B. After about a ...
A. 15 November 2010: He could be fishing to see if you'll fess up... or he could be oblivious. Best to tell him either way.... (read in full...)
If he cant see himself with anyone but me for the rest of his life, then why is it so hard for him to fully commit to me?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for almost 3 years now, and living together for over 1 and a half years. We talk about the fact we want to be together forever, but when it comes down to him actually popping the question, he always is saying he ...
A. 15 November 2010: I don't believe for a second that him being "scared of commitment" is the sole reason why he hasn't popped the question. Not that I'm implying there's anything underhanded going on here, simply that there could be a combination of lots of little ... (read in full...)
Why can't you just love me back?
Q. So guys, I've been stuck for five months now on one girl, lets call her M. I really need someone to read this question carefully, and give me some good advice. I really need help with this, more than any relationship. I used to barely notice M,...
A. 15 November 2010: I hate to rain on your parade dude, but sometimes when somebody is trying to tell you something, THEY'RE ACTUALLY TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING...
"she told me that we can never be"
You're tackling this problem like there is a definitive solut... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend so hurtful one minute-yet loves me the next?
Q. What does it mean when your ex you've been with for six months, is constantly bringing you down, critising you, picking on you, mocking you and is still possesive, but then he says he is kidding, and he says im beautiful and perfect and his girl. Y...
A. 14 November 2010: He sounds seriously messed up in the head and seems to enjoy being in control of you and your emotions. ... (read in full...)
Is he really in love? Can I trust him?
Q. Why would my boyfriend do that?? is he really in love? ive been with my boyfriend for 4months now and he tells me he loves me everyday.. hes soo sweet and nothing compare to the guys ive been with in the past. the guys ive been with in the past che...
A. 14 November 2010: It's not easy to prove to an insecure partner that you're not "foolin' around"... I applaud him for doing all he can to show you that he's serious about you.
Deleting girls numbers, facebook friends and hard earned teenage facial hair... if you c... (read in full...)
She's going by his last name and they're not even married!
Q. I can't seem to get over my ex. Over 4 1/2 years with my boyfriend I found out he had been cheating. I was pregnant at the time (we had tried for 3 years and all had resulted in miscarriages). He had been with her for 4 months and it was a long ...
A. 14 November 2010: I agree with natasia... don't presume for a second that he's getting his "happily ever after". ... (read in full...)
Why the frosty attitude?
Q. Hi All. I have been talking to this guy who goes to my college via facebook, we talk a lot and he told me he thinks im pretty nice and he knows i like him too. We have been talking every night for the past week on really good terms, just the ...
A. 14 November 2010: Are you sure that he liked you in the way that you like him to begin with? "Pretty nice" isn't exactly a ringing endorsement.... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to chase him out my house?
Q. Hey guys, I just wanted some advice from you guys because I just had a quarrel with my boyfriend. He has been appearing very tired whenever we meet up recently because of his hectic final year project. Yesterday, when he came to my ...
A. 14 November 2010: Are you wrong to chase him out? Not really... maybe a tad excessive... but at least he'll learn from it. ... (read in full...)
She's starts 95% of our fights!
Q. Where do I start. I can't believe at my age I'm feeling the way I do. I love my ex girlfriend with everything I have. We were together for 5 yrs. The last three on and off almost 20 times. We have been apart now for two months which I'm afraid may ...
A. 14 November 2010: "What can I do? I want us to be together how do I get her back and make this healthy and permanent?"
You can't... but feel free to keep chasing this woman forever. You may think that getting married to her will change her and solve all you're p... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and my girlfriend wants to have sex, if we don't she'll dump me!
Q. I'm 13 and my girlfriend really wants to have sex. My best friend did it once and said it was a great experience. I'm breaking under peer pressure and need help. We've been going out for 10 months and I really like her. She said if I don't have sex ...
A. 14 November 2010: If you're not ready, you're not ready. Don't fold to peer pressure or your girlfriend. If she dumps you for not having sex when you're not ready then that's a fantastic indicator that she's not the right girl for you... isn't it.... (read in full...)
Understanding the logic behind female's thoughts.
Q. hey there. im just very curious to understand the logic behind female thoughts. this woman who i see all the time cause we live very near had a crush on me for months. we only ever said hi. i finnaly asked her out and thats when i found out she was ...
A. 14 November 2010: That's not female logic, that's just logic in general...
She's clearly had friends tell her about your reputation... and when you showed up drunk and late that did nothing but confirm the stories for her.
She's a single mother with two ... (read in full...)
Turning a Bootycall into a boyfriend, can it be done?
Q. Dear agony ants, I've been sleeping with this guy for 2 weeks, mostly after hanging out with him on the weekend. Sex is really good. We have been texting and e-mailing (FB) each other almost every day. When we're out together, he takes me to dinn...
A. 14 November 2010: I don't understand why some people feel they HAVE to put a label on relationships for it to be of any value. A television set in a shop that's lost its price tag is still worth exactly the same value. Though on the other hand, I can appreciate that ... (read in full...)
Is it rare for people to want unconditional love?
Q. Is it better to be honest with one's partner or to withhold the truth about something that you know might lead them to reconsdider being in the relationship? I see so many people advocate for dishonesty in relationships, and I don't understand it. ...
A. 14 November 2010: Santa doesn't exist?!?... (read in full...)
Love behind bars!
Q. Hello, I have a question is it bad to date someone who has been to prison in the past for fighting or any reason ,but now is a new person?...
A. 14 November 2010: Yeh, I agree with aunt honesty, if he admitted his mistake, is honest and genuinely remorseful, its not a bad thing at all in my books. ... (read in full...)
Shy guy--should I just accept that if it was meant to be he would have made a move?
Q. Ok, so there's this guy and today I'm going to go for it. We have a bit of history (in the form of me crushing on him 100% about a year ago) but after a few discussions with his best friend who I'm really close with, I have decided to talk to him. L...
A. 14 November 2010: Just go for it. Don't underestimate just how shy he could be.... (read in full...)
Why the big gaps between responding to texts?
Q. This question is mostly for men but women feel free to answer too. I was texting this guy now and again and then after 2 weeks we went on our first date. It went really well, and for the first 2days after he would text me all day. Ever since he...
A. 14 November 2010: If you want instant communication then JUST CALL INSTEAD OF TEXTING!! Texting is like running up to somebodies house and ringing the doorbell, the occupant may not hear it, may be busy in the shower, listening to music or heaven forbid- may not be ... (read in full...)
Do you think he cares?
Q. I met this guy, We been hanging out/seeing each other for almost 6 months now. We act like were dating, But were not officialy because my age, Im almost 18 and he's 22, I always had a thing for older guys, I'd rather meet someone that cares about ...
A. 14 November 2010: You honestly need assurance from complete strangers that he cares?? C'mon... you already know he cares.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend constantly shuts down and defeats himself!
Q. Whenever something upsets him, he completely shuts down. He'll have no motivation and will only speak in a whisper, as if it requires huge amounts of effort (not that I'm doubting it does). He's constantly in this cycle of feeling like a failure, ...
A. 13 November 2010: Hmm... you could be enabling him. Lets think about it, whats his motivation behind shutting down? Either he genuinely wants space- in which case you should give it to him. Or he may be depressed and like being constantly reassured by you that ... (read in full...)
For the guys, on a scale of 1-10 rate how would you rate your girlfriends/wives and why?
Q. I asked my boyfriend on a scale of 1-10 what am I? He replied with Im an 8. Is that bad? I mean shouldnt he really think Im atleast a 9. Hes one of those guys who believes no-one is perfect so I understand not being a 10 but 8 really. I wonde...
A. 13 November 2010: Xanthic said it all... you shouldn't ask loaded questions like this to begin with. ... (read in full...)
I think about my girlfriend's sister while I masturbate!
Q. I have been with my gf for 3 years. We have a good healthy relationship, we have a house together and are planning a family. I find myself physically attracted to her sister (they're sisters) and I do believe I have received vibes from her and I ...
A. 13 November 2010: As long as it stays in your head, no harm done. ... (read in full...)
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