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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Me and my boyfriend had a little problem, he went really weird with me and he didnt speak to me for a while, i'd never usually speak first but i started making more of an effort with him and he then began ignoring me, i then caught him cheating and our relationship was over.. hes recently contacted me and i dont know what to do, i cant allow him to think that he can snap his fingers and have me back any timme he wants.. he has requested a second chance and we are speaking casually, however he makes very sexual comments to me and i'd hate to think that he is only after one thing. what should i do ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 November 2010):
 I absolutely agree with CaringGuy. Don't take him back, he will fail again and yes, he is after sex.
A
female
reader, ehuplass  +, writes (19 November 2010):
WELL firstly...do not have sex with this boy,you dont know where hes been putting it.My opinion is if your gut tells u hes after sex then he probs is....If however you genuinally think hes realised what hes lost then he will make a serious effort to be in your life.Meet with friends and keep yourself busy,and remember guys dont like doormats ...you let them kick you once theyl kick you a hundred times....ignor him for a while if he does want just sex hel soon move on to another victim if you dont give it to him.p.s...ALWAYS PRACTISE SAFE SEX NO MATTER WHO ITS WITH!!!
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (19 November 2010):
 Errr...as caring says, teenage boys have an enormous interest in sex. However, if they cannot talk about any other subject then it makes them pretty boring don't you think? Your ex behaved badly, once a cheat always a cheat. He also played mind games - talking, not talking etc. Sorry but unless you are trapped on another planet where this boy is the only person that you are likely to meet in the next 40 years...pass up on the reunion as he sounds like a loser. You deserve better so make sure you don't settle for any boy, just one who treats you really well. In fact you may have to wait a while for that to happen. Teenage boys mature at a slower rate than girls. So it could be your 20's or 30's (or even later) before you meet Mr Perfect. However, it is worth waiting for someone special to come along.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): he is after sex as if he cared about you he wouldn't have cheated on you or treated you like rubbish
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (19 November 2010):
Yes I agree.
As difficult as it is, you need to try to move on from this.
This guy also needs to learn that it is unacceptable to treat a girl in this way and the only way he can do this if he realises that the consequences to his actions is that he no longer has ANY chance to be with you again. If you allow him in to your life again you are showing him that it is alright to use people as a means.
You deserve someone who is dedicated to you and to building a strong relationship with you. If you stick around in this relationship it will damage your confidence and you'll end up settling for something much less than you deserve. You're at that difficult age where some (but not all) men are not yet grown up enough to put emotions and feelings of a women before their own needs. Don't take it personally - it is his issue - not yours. Move on and you will find happiness with someone new.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (19 November 2010):
 CaringGuy is right, he's a teenage boy- of course he's after sex.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 November 2010):
Having been a teenage boy, I can tell you that we can be cruel and pretty closed minded when we want, or even when we don't want. Even the best teenage boy screws up with girls. And your ex screwed up royal. He cheated on you, and then thinks that he can come back and make it all better and talk about sex. And that's why you can't take him back. If he was immature enough to cheat and believe that he can come back for sex, then he will hurt you again. This is the sort of behaviour that you must never tolerate. Because, if you tolerate it now, later in life when it really matters, you will tolerate even crappier treatment.
He was your boyfriend, and he failed you. And he's failing you again with his embarrassing attempts to get sex from you. Move on, take time getting over him and focus on yourself. The good news is that most men grow up from being idiot teenager into decent guys, so there's no rush.
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