A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My fiance contact his ex wife to say goodbye yesterday after they separated 5 months ago.I don't know how I can get married in next month? Please help me.My husband contacted his ex wife recently to say that forgive me for all things that happened and wish you happiness ( according to what he told me ). Then his ex replied that same to you and I am in a relationship now. When he came home, he was so upset about this and told me that I am so jealous of that guy because life was hard with her but she will scarifies for him. Fist of all, I am not sure that he still has a feeling to her, and when I asked him he said that is truth about all men that when they see their ex with someone else they become jealous! I said that If you have feeling it will be true but he said No!By the way they do not have any kids and they used to be together for seven years. Second, I am not sure why he had to send him an email for saying goodbye and forgiveness?PLEASE help me, I am not sure about marriage to be a good idea?
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ex-wife, fiance, his ex, jealous Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (19 November 2010):
Men are jealous by nature (possessive males) and will react or show emotions that aren’t warrant when it comes to an ex. They even show it when they don’t even like her. A lot of guys just don’t want another man screwing what they consider there’s.
He may have written that to her because he feels like she wasted so much of her life waiting on him to act right. Maybe this is his closure. I would let this go because I see nothing unusually in it. I think 6 month to end a relation and get with another, then marry her is rushing. Slow it down some and get to know the dude. You don’t want to be the rebound girl.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 November 2010):
 Where are you from, and how did you meet this man?
I don't think you should get married to him, at least not next month. It doesn't sound like you really know this man at all. I do not think it is "true of all men" that they get jealous when they see their ex with someone else. It is only true if they have not gotten over that person, and they still have feelings for that person.
But I hope you can share with us some more of your background history, how you met this man, and why you decided to get married, and where you are from. You are a non-english speaker, thats why I ask.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (19 November 2010):
 Hang on a minute... what are you doing getting engaged to him after he's only 5 months ago come out of a 7 year marriage???
Slow things down, get to know him better and make sure you're not just a rebound.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (19 November 2010):
 He may have contacted his ex out of an obscure need to start fresh and with a clear conscience. It may have gotten out of hand. No it is not 'simply natural' for someone to feel jealousy when they see an ex has moved on, it means that there is a taint of emotion there. It may not be the love he once felt for her but it may become a problem.
I suggest you postpone the marriage until both of you are sure of everything. Work this out. He apparently needs some sort of closure and you cannot marry him until he finds a way to end this problem.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, e.liz +, writes (19 November 2010):
As an Ex Wife let me tell you this... you say they have Only been seperated for 5 months?!
Ok I was with my Ex Husband for 7years then seperated for 4years and finally divorced after that long seperation and Guess what...
I am the one that he calls at night when he gets a new girlfriend or breaks it off to tell me No one will ever compare to me and he will never love anyone like he did me.
The thing is he continues this behaviour because he himself tells me he will always be in love with me. When he found out I was in a 4 yr relationship he went crazy and did what he could do to seperate us, while having a girlfriend that had no idea this was going on. On the other hand I have no feelings for him and I will not call and persue him about the past. To me it is done, and have NO jealousy towards anyone he is with! I think that if he acts that way there are Feelings involoved. There is something he can not let go. Make sure he marries you for the right reasons. I have seen my Ex trying to get in a relationship with anyone seems like just so he can say he "moved on." Something he confesses to me while Drunk. And we are going on 3 years divorced But 7 years seperated.... Good Luck!
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