A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well I am in a s*load of trouble over a relationship I had with my boss at work. I handled the whole thing badly and it blew up in my face.I tried to get some advice on this problem the other day but my question wasn't posted because it was deemed too "sexually explicit". Although looking at other posts on this site, I think my language was pretty tame. I hope this version is less explicit and some of you out there may have some good advice to get me out of this mess. Here's my story...I had been having relations with my boss since the end of December. She is about 10 years older than me(really hot) and I lost my cherry to her last month. Up until yesterday, I had been having nookie with her before work every day. Our encounter started very unusually, but I won't go into that for fear of being too explicit (although it did have a bearing on my predicament). Our first encounter began with me licking the peach before I hid the pickle. I couldn't help but notice how juicy the peach was, even before I took my first taste. It wasn't just juicy, it was drenched in heavy syrup. I had never had any kind of intimate contact with a girl before last month, due to years of undiagnosed depression. That is why I stayed a virgin into my twenties. So I wasn't carnally active until hooking up with my boss last month. As a result of my inexperience in forestry, I wasn't sure how wet the base of a tree would get if one were to lick a peach. I was surprised to find the peach tree was very wet even before I started climbing the tree and wasn't sure if that was normal.Based upon bad gossip I heard from a co-worker, I heard that the peach tree was being watered by a fellow co-worker every morning. The name I got from this gossip was the office stud, not me (duh). Seeing as though I was eating a very wet peach every morning, my imagination ran away with me and I started believing the gossip. I thought perhaps the reason why the peach was so syrupy was that the other coworker was watering the peach tree every day before I took my turn eating the peach. The thought of me eating all of that syrup every day started to freak me out.So, I asked you all for some advice to find out just how much juice there should be in an average peach and how you all thought I should go about finding out if someone else was watering the peach tree before me each day. Unfortunately, my question was censored and I got no advice other that that of my roommate who convinced me to be direct and confront my boss.Well.. guess what? It turns out that the office gossip got the wrong guy's name. There was no other person watering the peach tree. So when I confronted her with my delusions, she got embarrassed and teary eyed. She explained that she had always been like that and I deeply wounded her, to the point where she said we needed to take a break. She hasn't made eye contact with me since.Can I fix this? How do I fix this?
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a break, at work, co-worker, my boss, roommate Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (27 January 2010):
 I agree with fishdish and caring guy, tell her what you have told us, in writing if you have to, or even send her the link, that might be safer,
good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010): sorry but you blew it big time. your first experience with a woman and you hurt her deep
And shes your boss?? What are you nuts??
Most companys have fraternisation policys too.
I agree with the others. Move on.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (27 January 2010):
 You cannot fix it because you doubted her and that will always been a breeding ground for future resentment. I think it best that you say nothing to her at work if you do indeed like her at all. Many organisations disapprove of relationships between staff, particularly where there are also differences in grade of employment. I think it could have bad consequences for both of you if this gossip escaped. I think first relationships are a learning curve for many of us (sure was for me!). I think you have to learn to go with your instincts over partner fidelity, rather than the say-so of others...there will always be people queuing up to throw the spanner in the works in terms of gossip. A few more dates with other women will teach you why this relationship was wrong.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 January 2010):
Write a letter telling her more or less what you've said here, then ask for forgiveness and tell her you're very sorry and that you would really like a second chance.
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A
female
reader, dorothy2342 +, writes (27 January 2010):
 Most women's vagina get wet during foreplay, oral sex and intercourse. It is her bodys way of providing lubrication for sex. Otherwise it would be very uncomfortable or painful. When some women orgasm they ejaculate a liquid something like a man, but not semen. It is understandable you didn't know this, however it doesn't mean she wasn't fooling around with someone else. Explain to her your situation and why you questioned her actions, explain to her you showed her respect by coming to her and asking to know the truth, rather than believing the office gossip and dumping her. Then if it is what you want, tell her you would like to continue your relationship. If the answer is no, just move on. Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010): Crawl. Tell her you are inexperienced and stupid and don't know better. For future references, always start asking a question before jumping to assumptions about anything about a woman's physics. Whether that be wetness, or menstruation, bloating, anything. Just ask her first, say you are inexperienced and would need her to explain the basics of things. Some women are just wet by nature. Others also come very fast. Some don't. General rule is that we are all different and you can't generalize us.
Word of advice though: it's not smart to have an affair with your boss, first off I think it could be illegal, second off it causes problems with your work.
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A
female
reader, LibertarianLou +, writes (27 January 2010):
What a weird story.
Wetness doesn't mean she's having sex regularly. It means her body is preparing itself to have something shoved up it. Usually it's a sign of intense arousal but not always. For example sometimes rape victims get very wet because the body just knows it's the best way to make it physically easier. It's an evolutionary biological response to sex.
Were you actually in a relationship? If not, she's free to sleep with anyone she wants. Perhaps she was assuming it was just sex with you? Does she want just sex with you or something more?
Does you company have a policy on this stuff because she or you could get into trouble?
Explain your lack of experience but don't expect her to be cool about this quickly.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (27 January 2010):
 I think you are SOL, guess you'd best start looking for another fruit grove.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (27 January 2010):
 just tell her what you said here, about how your lack of experience with other ladies and their wetness in addition to the rumor mill made you question her fidelity.
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