A
female
age
30-35,
*aveedavee(;
writes:I have bben with my boyfriend for some time now and nothings really has changed as far as i feel for him. I still get butterflies when i speak to him. hes the first real relationship ive had, and i love him a lot. ive made commitments and lets just say gone furher than kissing but we have not gone all the way. he's a really nice guy and he's the type that tells you how he feels. unfortunatly hes got quite a bad name for himself because of the people he goes around with. he's into drugs and also drinks- obviously not when im around. but if i have a conversation with him over the phone i can always tell when hes been smoking something, he goes really energetic and starts acting weird. he also mentions other girls wih makes me feel like he wants to be with another girl. i love him so much and i dont want to break up with him because my life wouldnt be the same. hes not violent or anything but at times he makes me feel unworthy- when hes sober and calmed down from the drugd he says the mot sweetes things and makes me feel like the luckiest girl ever. i just dont know what to do anymore.
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female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (6 February 2010):
 why don't you try talking to him and try to give him an ultimatum- the drugs and drinking or hanging out/going out with you? might help you see where his allegiances lie, for better or worse.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 February 2010):
He's on drugs. He's drinking. He's talking to you about other women. He makes you feel unworthy. You are either deluding yourself that he is a nice guy, or your own esteem is sadly very low, because this guy just isn't worthy of you at all. Do you want to be in a relationship with a druggie, or a man who treats you as nothing other than a convenience. So many women before you have fallen for men who then use and abuse them. And so many after you will as well. Why be one of those women, when you can find a better guy? Why accept and settle for someone who takes drugs and generally makes you feel unworthy? He won't change. But you can get rid of him and meet someone better. Don't settle for second best.
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