A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hi everyone. I dont know what to say to my boyfriend he hasnt spoken to me all week, We've been together 6 months ,we dont live together and had no problems before he went silent on me. Ive asked him if theres a problem but he hasnt replied. I didnt get to see him new years eve because 2 week previously he said he was going to his brothers for new year i didnt mind because i hate the busyness of new years, he didnt even say happy new year to me either instead he 'liked' random pictures of the world on facebook. Should i go in all direct and tell him if he doesnt reply or speak to me then its over (pointless being together if he doesnt speak to me ) or do i go all wimpy and say 'feel free to message me sometime' (waiting and wait for him to drag it out ) i need something to wake him up and shock him into talking again , what can i say to him ... ?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 January 2016):
I wouldn't waste my time..... Seems that HE is done with the "relationship" that the two of you had.... and nothing you can do is going to resurrect the the dead "relationship."
Good luck....
P.S. By "reaching out" to him.... you will be seen as grovelling... and he's almost-certain to take advantage of you, under those circumstances....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2016): Im the op, ive not done anything like messaging other people or anything to make him ignore me. i know 6 week back his dad hurt his back which he told me about but yeah it could be a different family issue he hasnt told me about . Im also wondering if he just wanted some 'me' time over xmas / new year to himself and just took it without telling me leaving me to wonder whats going on. I have decided tho if i havent heard anything from him by Tuesday i will be telling him if he doesnt reply with an explanation its over. I will be gutted but I need to put my foot down. Thanks for the advice everyone
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (1 January 2016):
Denizen's right, I think.
I wouldn't do either of those things. In fact not hearing from you might make him wonder. Any message from you gives him a chance to read you so I advise you carry on with your life.
If he does contact you be cool, calm and disinterested.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (1 January 2016):
If he isn't trying to get in touch it probably means he doesn't want to, and hasn't the guts to face you. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
Just act like you don't care.
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A
female
reader, ellsie96 +, writes (1 January 2016):
Your boyfriends behaviour is strange, but I just have one question for you? I don't want to seem like I'm assuming anything, tell me if I'm completely wrong! But has he any reason to be angry at you? E.g. flirtatious messages to other men on your phone, some disloyal behaviour he could have possibly found out about? Because if you've done anything you regret, but didn't think he knew, he might have found out, and that's why he's avoiding you.
If the answer to the above is no, your boyfriend may be going through something beyond you. He may be experiencing family troubles, problems at work etc. which has made him become distant. Ask him directly about this, see if anything is wrong. He could be going through something horrible but not know how to tell you.
Unfortunately, the third option is that he has simply lost interest but is too chicken to call the whole thing off. You've only been together 6 months, which is about the right period of time for someone to probably realise how serious they are about you.
So he could have got cold feet about the relationship and want out. That could be a possibility.
Either way, definitely ask him about it. You need to know what's going on, even if you technically have nothing to do with why he's being so distant.
He is your boyfriend and he can't just ignore you when he wants, talk to him.
Hope this helped :)
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