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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have a crush on my husbands brother. He's been single for a few years and has always flirted with me. I never encouraged him but I was always friendly to him, I just enjoyed being the object of his desire. Now it's getting worse, I'm getting obsessed. I feel like I'm cheating in my heart even though I've done nothing. How can I stop loving my brother in law and get back to normal? I must also add that I've never done anything with my brother in law. In 10 years I've given him maybe 3 hugs and a couple handshakes. I just think about him all the time. Even when im intimate with my husband. How can I stop thinking like this??
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNothing has happened I just meant living in close quarters made things escalate by words. I mean we started talking about it every day. When we were having sex in the same house my husband would tell me he's listening to us and wishing he was here with you. Things like that. Nothing nothing nothing has happened with my brother in law. My husband and I just started talking about it constantly.
I guess your right. I haven't made up my mind what to do and that's why im here. I have done nothing so far and i'm unhappy with how things are. I'm just not sure the nexr step. I've suggested to my husband to stop talking about it but we haven't. I haven't talked to my brother in law at all about anything because I feel it would be wrong to do it without my husband and he's not willing to talk to him or let me. I don't see him every day like before since we moved out and I'm never alone with him. I see him atleast once a week. I don't know what to say to who or how to make it all go away. These feelings have been developing for years and I can just make Three people all forget them, myself included.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell the whole idea started like 4 years ago but after living with him and sharing a bathroom, our bedrooms were next to each other things escalated. We used to talk about it once in awhile now its every time we are intimate. We both love it and we both feel guilty. I've told him I don't want to actually do it but I'm sure he's worried I'm going to fall in love with his brother. I'm even feeling nervous around his brother now too. He told me he loves me and wants me, he's called me and texted me when he was drunk and talked about loving me and wanting me. I don't lie and i didnt want to say anything wrong so i didnt reply and ive basically ignored all the advances. I'm sexually attracted to him and i feel bad for himand that's it though. I'd never consider any relationship with his brother. I really this it's just a guilty fantasy and we both have said we want to stop talking about it but we haven't. I've stopped bringing it up though and I let him bring it up. I just love it and really want it, I can't get it out of my mind.
I'll also mention my brother in law sent me a text by mistake that said he wanted to do anal. He said he sent the text to me by mistake instead of the girl he meant to because he can't get me out of his mind and apologized sincerely. Of course my husband was with me when i got the text. Since then my husband started having anal sex with me and i enjoy it. So he tells me he's getting it ready for his brother to enjoy. I know it sounds messed up for me to even write but it makes us both hot. It makes me dying to have them both together.
How can we both stop and do u think we need to talk me and my brother in law or the three of us? Or should we just stop talking about 100%
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell my husband started it and he's the one pushing it. He wants me to talk about it every time we are intimate together. He tells me just say "Yes" once and I'll get him here today to do it! He told me to do it whenever I get the chance. Im not going to but the more he talks about it and stuff the more I want it too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you CJH,
It All started so innocently about 4. Years ago. My husband and I were talking about threesomes and he told me to pick someone. I had never even thought about my brother in law before but I said his name because he is the closest thing to my husband, almost a twin. Plus he was in another state to so it was just a fantasy. Since then we have talked about this situation for years occasionally, now we talk about it daily. We moved back to the same state this year and we spent six months living with the whole family. During this time my brother in law told me he loves me and he can tell I want him too. This just made me more hot. I don't want to cheat or leave my husband. I just liked the fantasy and now it's getting uncomfortable. I don't want to be more hot but I'm thinking about him 24/7. My husband is the one who wanted to talk about it. I've not hid anything from him but I'm feeling guilty for wanting his brother so much. I even fantasize about him sometimes when I'm withy husband which I don't like.
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male
reader, CJH  +, writes (3 November 2012):
 Remind yourself who it is you married, who it is you love?
There is nothing wrong with the odd private fantasy provided you NEVER take it any further.
The problem arises when you start feeling guilty for what you think in your mind. That in itself is what's making this an obsessive issue.
Imagine life without your husband. Because, if you were to follow through on your fantasy, that's what you would end up with.
Try not to beat yourself up too much about this. After ten years in your current relationship your mind is bound to wander.
Just remember, this is fantasy, not fact.
Fact is the love you share with your husband.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2012): I understand how you feel. Sometimes we can't help feeling a certain way. I guess you must face the fact that he is no longer single. Sometimes we fancy what we can't have and that "fantasy" makes us even more obsessed. Try to improve things with your husband, as that is usually the cause of your attention on someone else.
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