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female
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*ove_and_other catastrophes
writes: My bf took his female friend to dinner, and picked her up from work after he finished work. Yet he made me pay my way to work today (he drives me extremely rarely and he had the day off today so I didn't think it was a big deal). He called me quite a nasty name when I didn't initially give him the money to take me home, I thought I was paying for the petrol but turns out it cost less to take me than what I was paying. I gave him the money in the end. Cost me $100 in total. I thought boyfriends did this sort of thing for their girlfriends. We've been together for nearly 4 years, his mum knows about us not his dad and I'm not allowed at their house cos he said its not big enough ( I live in a flat and he's always welcome), I've never been invited to christmas or anything like that. The initial reason he doesn't want to live with me was cos he thought I'd take everything after 6 mnths of residing together, I actually had to reassure him. Is this a joke of a relationship? Or is he right in the way he does things and I'm the one that's wrong?
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male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (26 January 2011):
 Holy crap! My place is a mess, but I invite a girlfriend over. My car is a beater, but I drove more for the gf than I did for myself (no charge). She was always welcome to Christmas and Thanksgiving, treated like family by both my parents. And I've many times had to drive half an hour away to get her so we could drive at least that far again to get her to work, knowing I'd have to pick her back up. That's what a relationship is like. I did favors for her and she did for me. Your guy sounds like he'll be nickel and diming you forever... I wouldn't be surprised if he expected you to pay him to babysit his own kid.
That "relationship" is a joke.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (26 January 2011):
 your relationship is a pale shadow of a real relationship. You really do deserve better.
A man counting the cost of transporting his girlfriend is a man who is not in love. This man's actions scream out loud and clear that you are not a woman he trusts, values and cherishes.
He's not proud to introduce you to his father, thus you are a dalliance only.
You are not, in his eyes, worthy to share Christmas, thus you are a side dish.
Don't waste another moment with this man.
You deserve a man who really cares.
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A
female
reader, Denissia  +, writes (26 January 2011):
 Whats wrong with you,wake up! He is ashamed to be seen with you,and he must have told his parents nasty things about you. Men talk with their folks,he just using u girl and good too. Your place is convenient so he wont have to rent a motel,and he seems comfortable only wen you two alone together right? Has he told u since you all together soo long,any Valentines plans? Girl leave him,an ask some friend to go on a Valentine dineer to make him jealous,but hopefully he dont knw the friend,or jus flirt with a stranger,tell the stranger ur plans,even pay him,cuz ur dude in for sum serious reality checks,hun,if he cared you will see him appreciate you,in fact dont wait until valentines,an go to work on your own,dont give him any more petrol money. Sure its cheaper to find your way. Trust me,he has his eyes on other girls,probably two timing u,or maybe he faithful,but like to flirt and u hampering him. If he crawl back to u,stomp dwn his feelings,because realize it or not,u putting up with shit!! Move on gal,he doesnt deserve u
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A
male
reader, CJH  +, writes (26 January 2011):
 If hes still treating you this way after four years of being together, yes I`d say its a joke.
To not spend Christmas together? To be a secret from his dad? To have to PAY him for a lift to work? Its nothing short of ridiculous.
Obvioiusly were only hearing one side of the story here, youre not telling us how you treat him but regardless of that, this isnt a relationship - or if you insist on calling it one, its an unhealthy one.
Life is so short and youre not doing yourself any favours by accepting things that make you unhappy. Get your boyfriend to change his ways OR get another man.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, ariesortauras  +, writes (26 January 2011):
Just Grow up,
If a person really loves you will never have conditions like, his house, petrol prices and no time for u. Moreover you guys knows each other since 4 years and still you are never invited for christmas..dont you think this is something wierd?! Also ask yourself, do you get eneough respect back in this relationship?
I think you should seriously have to give a thought again before proceeding further into this relationship.
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A
male
reader, sam44  +, writes (26 January 2011):
I will be honest with you here!
It is a joke of a relationship, why? Because you allow him to treat you like that. I understand if he needs gas money support once in a while but a boyfriend should not ask payment for a ride from a girlfriend... that outrageous. Why do you let this happen? After 4 year he should have introduced you to his parents, don't entertain this behavior from him, he is out of line. Never let anyone take you for granted, you only live once. I will not conclude that he doesn't love you, but i can surely conclude that you are the one who let him go away with being a joke. Start telling him to step it up, or else leave him for someone ready to be a man.
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A
male
reader, 1000lies1000sorrys +, writes (26 January 2011):
 That no joke he clearly does not love you at all.
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