A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My relationships with men have been unsteady and rocky, even though, I have tried to have a lasting one. It seems like the men I am interested in are not interested in me and leave abruptly or cause me to break up with them. I think I am fairly attractive as I get unsolicited compliments from men and women. I am pretty confident that my personality is pleasant and nothing abnormally bad. What can I do to get a man I am interested in and have a lasting relationship with him? How do I meet him? Any practical advice you have is grealty appreciated. Thanks! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Silius Sodimus  +, writes (22 January 2013):
Some people go through a multitude of relationships to find the right one, others don't. It has nothing to do with you as a person.
As for finding someone who want's lasting relationships they are out there, I happen to be one of them. Alot of guys screw around until they find the right one, so it's not a matter of finding the "rare" guy it's just a matter of finding one that clicks with you.
Maybe try finding guys in the things you like. E.g if you love painting go to a painting class or life drawing class. Find someone you can relate to.
You didn't give much info on why the men in your life are leaving but as I said the first thing is to find men you can relate to according to things they like that suit you.
A
male
reader, coolrunnings  +, writes (6 January 2013):
I find it odd that you would say 'I have tried to have a lasting one'
Why do you feel the effort involved in making lasting relationship is your responsibility? Even the breaking up is your effort!
It may be that in your desire to have a solid, healthy , long-lasting relationship you try too hard. Its can't be good for you (incredibly tiring!) and the guy will feel he has to play a 'part' rather than be himself.
Why not relax and let him be himself... much better to see what he is really like without being forced to live up to something. You won't have to work so hard...and you might even enjoy the great things that can happen when two people feel they want to be exactly where they are!
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A
male
reader, CJH +, writes (6 January 2013):
 There is nothing worse than trying too hard.
Take the pressure off yourself for a while. Forget relationships and focus on being happy on your own. That will actually make you MORE attractive to others.
Going through life having short and meaningless relationships is soul destroying and will leave you feeling exactly as you do now.
The right man will come along, probably when you least expect it. Won't it be a shame if you are in yet another of these "useless" relationships when he does surface?
Enjoy life for what it is, stop worrying about things being "just right". Your time will come but probably not until you are at a point where you are ready. Slipping into despair will do nothing to help you so avoid this at all costs.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Hurttohell +, writes (6 January 2013):
I don't get it?
Do you have shared interests. Go to meetup.com groups. I've never had this problem I think its the wrong type of guys.
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