A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i think my husband is cheating on me.he rarely makes love to me and is behaving in a suspicious way.he used to let me check his phone but refuses to let me near it lately. most of the time hes at home he will carry it around in his pocket which hedidnt used to do.also whenhe gets a message he will immediatly delete after reading, also something he didnt used to do.when he goes to work. he is a lorry driver and i know the ins and outs of exactly how log which journey takes etc, yet he takes 5 hours longer than usual. when i try to phone , its switched off. he will say his signal went on his phone.heres the crucial thing...we both have the latest htc phones and have trackng devices on them so we can check where we are. the other day i checked his location and it said he was in a place i recognized where he used to live with his ex wife.when i confronted him he said the signal was wrong and the device must have a fault.well the next day i phoned the company who makes them and they told me it would not be a fault as its accurate via sattalite signal up to 10 feet.am i being paranoid.this isnt the first time.on other occasions i he has spent ages out somewhere yet on returning home cant explain where.
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male
reader, CJH +, writes (25 January 2011):
 I think you know you're not being paranoid sweetheart.The old man is certainly telling you lies, quite what he's getting up to is another matter altogether. On the face of the evidence, yes, it seems as though he's nipping round to see the ex behind your back.I wouldn't mind betting that he disables the GPS side of his phone from now on.Of course I understand that you must be devastated but it's high time you turned the tables and stopped being the downtrodden wife. You know he's not being honest and you have pretty damning evidence to show what he's up to so you need to stop accepting his feeble excuses and decide what it is you want and need to do.This is your life, your marriage so I can't tell you to walk away despite the fact that that's probably the best option here.If you want to stay with him you're going to need to do two things. Firstly, forgive him, can you do that? Again, it's for you to decide. Secondly you need to, somehow, get him to be honest. That's another debateable one isn't it? He's already shown that he's comfortable lying to you so theres no reason to believe that's ever going to change.From the outside looking on, it's easy for me to say you'll be happier and better off without him. From your point of view it has to be a considered decision.I'd show this answer and make him understand that you're not as daft as he seems to think you are and then take things from there.I wish you all the best with this.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (25 January 2011):
 Yeah, unfortunately, it sure does sound like he is cheating. You can either do more research into his exact actions, and there are a lot of ways you can surveil him and many places that sell equipment that helps to track your husband's activities.
This guy is even a really bad liar. Oh, the device is at fault? Hah!
You could either gather more evidence, or you can proceed as if you know he's cheating on you and leave the guy. Either way, do not let him make you feel bad for suspecting him. There are too many signs.
However, and I stress this very strongly. Don't seriously confront him until you have an exit strategy from the marriage. Collect a little nest egg to pay for a lawyer and possible moving expenses. If you don't already know, then get really acquainted with ALL of your financial holdings. Savings, checking, credit cards, life insurance policies, secret accounts, properties, stock portfolios, total debt, etc. See what I mean?
Remember to also check Facebook or Google search his name to discover things, and if you're really feeling ambitious, you may want to follow his routes to see where he's really going. Check on his ex as well if you're suspecting that she is the one he's cheating with.
Do you have kids that are still at home growing up? They have to be considered in your exit strategy as well.
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A
female
reader, No watered down advice here! +, writes (25 January 2011):
 You're not being paranoid! The facts are there right in front of you. Now, what are you going to do is the question? Let me help you to decide. I know plenty of women who has had this feeling also, and did nothing about it,only later to end up with a STD better yet HIV,because he didn't use protection. Don't be one of them. It's good thing that he don't have sex with you right now, and don't press it,you could be asking for more than SEX! Get checked for STD'S and tell him you know and that you're NOT PARANOID. Don't ask him TELL HIM! It makes a difference, don't leave him room for EXCUSES like the phone is not working properly. I wish you was wrong! But...reality is better than a DREAM any day! Move forward, and don't accept this, you're worth more than that! If they're getting at home than they're getting some where!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): I would say you have a reasonable suspicion. Yeah I would talk to him directly and hopefully he'll be honest. Hopefully no kids involved here. Good luck.
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