A
female
age
30-35,
*abrena
writes:My fiancée went back home to visit his mother who he hasn’t seen for 16years when he was leaving we agreed for him to be only gone for a month but he ended up extending his time to a extra months, where do i start before he left we were head over heels and all we talked about was our wedding to come which was suppose to be this December. While he was away i changed my number but i gave him my new number and we spoke a couple of times what i realised was when he went there he was calling but not enough anyways what i obviously realised was i was calling more than him so i asked him why and he said it was expensive to call overseas so i offered to send him money and he also wanted to borrow some money because he couldn’t access bank there so i ended up sending him that money. News flash he doesn’t call not even to say thanks he got the money the only way i found out was through the company i sent the money they send u notification when the money is received. Within that time he was gone new years came and he didn’t even call, txt or email to say happy new year nothing at all i didn’t because i was sick of calling and no one answering. I was really sad and even worried something happened to him so i sent him an email expressing my anger and with the email i included my number just so that he didn’t make excuses that he didn’t know my number. So a day later he calls he is angry about the fact that i sent him such a rude email and said he didn’t call coz he didn’t have my number stupid me i forgive him and we talk for ages anyways after that day i don’t hear from him again this time for a whole week finally i saw him on facebook and he starts talking to me like nothing is wrong i tell him to leave me alone and so forth he goes offline and calls the next day “babe can i borrow money “ i say no he calls more often now and starts begging me on facebook so i think maybe i am being too strict and he will pay me back so i just let him borrow again but i clearly say to him “hey look if your just after money then i will still send you the money but just be honest because i love u and want you but if u want to just be friends i will accept that" and then he was like "no way i love u babe you’re going to be my wife really soon don’t talk like this" blah blah so after i send the money i call he says hello and puts his mum on the ph to say hi to me but the connection is really bad and we don’t hear each other the ph dies i call and call and call no answer nothing so i tell myself don’t worry the connection is really bad after three hours i get a message form the company advising he got the money and up to today he hasn’t called. Today is the day he was suppose to be back so i called both phones his number here and the number there and none of them are working i think maybe he is in the flight still, i don’t want anything to do with him i just want my money back from him i know he will buy me lots of gifts should i accept it or not would u if u were me, what do you think i should do should i meet him to get my money back or i should forget about that money and him or do you u think that i should give him a chance i know he will ask but i don’t want to give him chance as i feel he has used and abused me in a way that i feel is worse than being cheated on i do love him and i know that he will call all the time when he gets back coz he was like that before its probably the long distance thing am so confused and i am sure i will get over him with time but i just need advice people i know some say dump his ass some say forgive him but i want others advice am really sorry this was so long please give me feedback, thank you so much.
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female
reader, Sabrena +, writes (27 January 2011):
Sabrena is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey guys thank u for takin the time to answer CJH ur very clever he didnt come back as he said he would lol must have extended ticket time with my money anyways i am so over him i am moving on with my life good to be single again after a year of drama:)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): He has used you as a bank and treated you very shabbily to say the least. Forget about getting your money back, I suspect even if you ask, it will not appear. Why on earth did you continue to send money after the first time when he couldn't be bothered to acknowledge it. I dare say you are in shock that someone you care for should treat you like this. He may well come back full of apologies and you will give him another chance. A pattern can emerge when someone allows themselves to be treated badly, it continues. So really think about yourself, and how you are going to handle this. I would say dump him.
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A
male
reader, CJH  +, writes (26 January 2011):
 Question.....how do you know it was his mother on the other end of that bad line?
He`s treating you like dirt and youre just allowing him to do it. Why? You love him? That may be the case but his actions are not showing that he loves you.
I`d be very interested to hear an update from you soon because the fact both his numbers are either not being answered or are out of service speaks volumes to me. Maybe he is on a plane but my own gut feeling says he isnt.
There are things in life you should accept and other things you shouldnt. Only you can decide where your limits are but from the outside looking in? Your story smacks of a lack of respect on the part of your boyfriend.
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