A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriends mum is all over him in front of me. She calls him her gorgeous man. She is widowed but has a good social life. She is polite to me but she makes weird remarks which can be taken two ways such as 'hands off he's mine' and laughs. She complains he doesn't see her enough (he goes round once a wk) and makes a joke calling him 'stranger'. She irritates me but I don't discuss this with him as he thinks she is a great mother and I don't want to be in a classical mother in law situation. I am at the point where I don't want to see her because I feel she is jealous of me. I see her every 3 months and he wants us to meet up couple if weeks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): I think you have to have contact with her. You have to seem to 'make an effort' in his eyes and this will show him that you aren't a bi#*&. My advice, is to be nice, but don't let yourself get too close, even if she goes overboard and wants to be your new best friend. It never works that way. Even the best of friends have little fights and it's your partner you can go home and have a whinge to about them. If that 'friend' happens to be your mother in law and it's not YOU going home to whinge to him about HER. You can bet your bottom dollar, it'll be her whinging to him about YOU and speaking from experience, their mother's seem to have more influence than anyone on earth. I have currently got the WORST mil born so TRUST ME I know. Small chit chat about your sporting or other interest you might have but nothing personal between the two of you. Don't take anything to heart that she says, she sounds insecure in herself. If anything, you have to feel sorry for her. She's quite pathetic. Good luck with it all.
A
female
reader, Nonamus  +, writes (28 January 2011):
The natural reaction is to avoid her, but I wonder what would happen if you tried to become friends with her. That way maybe she won't feel like she has to compete with you.
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A
female
reader, Denissia  +, writes (26 January 2011):
 If you love him,and he treats u well,love his mum frm a distance and dont give up. I had a psycho mum in law,mind u we not married,but same situation,all the way in the Caribbean,she would hug him up and dance on him in front of me,even try to get my man drunk. When he quarrel with me,she will be singing and smiling. People like that u cringe and hate but love her frm a distance,avoid her,but encourage him to see her often,the mum find he doh come by her,entice him to go,and u will see,he would love you for the encouragement and wouldnt even want to leave ur side
Call her too,visit her for her birthday an Christmas,buy her nice stuf even if u dont get frm her,but me,my bf an his mum was a case by themself. He caused her to get on more,now he begging me back because he let her interfere in our life. We were together for a year an a half,but his mum didnt like me at all. She even put a hickee on him,i mean honestly,what kind of mother does that to her son,now he get kicked out frm his father house and the mother too busy wit she boyfren,she keepin the man there an telling her son to find a job,now that he have no girlfren,did his mum care abt him at all? I feel sorry for him,honestly i had the worst Christmas ever because of her,but you decide,him or move on if he not worthy of u,okay,all the best for 2011,u need it wen it comes to her...
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A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (26 January 2011):
 My bf's mum is similar and he's a real mummys boy in my opinion he plays up to it!
Just bite your tongue and let it go. Don't say anything about it, she's his mum so of course he's going to defend her. You don't have to see her that often so when you do just be polite, grin and bear it and thank your lucky stars you don't have to see her again too soon!
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (26 January 2011):
 I would let it go. You are his GF, and she is his mother. It's a different type of relationship.
Just think of things this way. He had no choice who his mother would be, but he chose you to be his girlfriend. His mom is a tad annoying, but it's probably because she just wants the best for her son. Don't let his mom be the deal breaker in the relationship.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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A
male
reader, CJH +, writes (26 January 2011):
 Hey, I`m 43 and my mums exactly the same with me although I dont think shes ever used the "hands off comment".
What you have to understand is that she IS his mum and shes perfectly entitled to love him just as much as you are. Maybe there is a hint of jealousy and resentment between you but you must keep it to yourself and just be happy that the guy has such a close relationship with her.
As for you seeing her and being a part of her life more, just dont do it. Sure there may be times you have to grin and bare the situation for the sake of harmony but all in all, its perfectly possible to enjoy your relationship without her playing a central role in it.
I think if you express your concerns to your boyfriend youll be shooting yourself in your foot - after all blood is thicker than water.
Force yourself to ignore your feelings if you can and accept that you really cant change the way people are - you can only change how you deal with things.]
Good luck.
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