A
female
age
,
*crambled brain
writes:Hi Aunts,Don't really know why I'm writing this. It's cos I need your help and reassurance again I suppose.If you know me you will remember my text cheating husband and the rest of the saga.Although I am managing to avoid bringing it up as much, the hurt is still as raw and that Tiffany heart necklace is destroying me. The thought of him buying that for another woman must mean he was cheating.Can anyone help me get over this? I know the answer in my heart but this is a desperate plea for help xxPS He is doing everything possible to show me how much he loves me but his betrayal is all I can focus on.
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female
reader, bitch  +, writes (23 November 2009):
When it comes down to it you have two choices. You can either decide you will make a conscious daily effort to let it go, or you can get a divorce and move on. If you cannot let it go, then ask for a divorce. You surely cannot stay married in the state you are in and have a happy healthy marriage. Yes he made an awful error in judgement and threw caution to the wind without considering the consequences. I would not stay with him. But if it is your choice to stay, then you have to not think about it all the time because that will not help your relationship with him or make your marriage any happier. I realize he hurt you. I am not saying that it is ok. I think it is wrong and I would tell him to get out. But that is me. I got a divorce from my husband and he cheated and it was just sex not any kind of an emotional relationship he had with women. But I didn't stay because I knew I would hold it against him forever and that I could not ever truly let it go.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 November 2009):
It will take a lot of time for you to be able to forgive him. Of course it's going to be raw, even though he is doing everything he can to show you he loves you. Nobody is going to blame you for being hurt, you have every right to be. I think you might benefit from some sort of counselling, even if your husband doens't want to go. You've got a lot of feelings you need to get out, and it sounds like you need someone who'll just listen to you and be able to help you work through them. I am sorry your husband did this, but please remember that is trying to show you he loves you, even though he blew it, so work through it with someone and you will hopefully be able to slowly forgive him. All the best.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (23 November 2009):
 I dont recall reading your earlier letter, but then, I am not here all the time.From your listed age you are "one of my mob" age wise. Which puts your husband in much the same age range, and please, because I didnt see your original letter if I get it wrong, excuse me.I am going to assume he was texting another female and bought her a gift, a tiffany heart necklace.What's his explaination for this? Where did he meet this other person. What on earth posessed him to buy her jewellry. Was it his last attempt at feeling like a young virile man? Did she stroke his ego? Was it somebody you both know well? (which would indicate hanky panky to me). You need to sit down with a few bits of paper and weigh up the pros and cons. First of all think of yourself, if you believe your cant forgive him write down what you honestly belelive your life would be like without him. The good and the bad. Make two more lists, the good and the bad of staying. Sleep on them for a day or two and tweek your lists.Dont rush into anything. Dont let your husband push you for a resolution that he wants (whether its to get back in your good books or for the marriage to end) you take control, and if you do forgive, dont forget, and make sure he understands the hurt he has caused! make him work for you for a while, tell him its going to take a whole lot more than a poxy tiffany necklace and I am not just talking about material stuff here, but the emotional and spiritual as wellgood luck, I hope you let us know how you get on
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