A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello i have a lil problem with my boyfriends mother. it seems that he can't cut the cord and it creates problems for us. i am close with my parents but my parents aren't clingy like his mother is. i have much love and respect for her and i am sure it's the same from her. sometimes it seems like she tries to compete with me for my boyfriends attention. that's just a lil part of the problem we want to build a house on her property and i am fine with that, alot of work has to be done b/c she is a hoarder really bad. he wants her to live w/us and it's a fight everytime b/c i am a huge neat freak and i can't stand a messy house or yard. how do i get him to understand that it wouldn't be a good idea for anyone to live with us? we are still in the begining of our relationship well 1 yr and a half. all i want is to be happy and i would never imagine living w/her b/c it's not gonna work we have conflict too much sometimes please help me Reply to this Question
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female
reader, rosiebud285 +, writes (19 April 2010):
my boyfriend's mom lives with us and i have the same issue. she and I are very close and are able to talk about anything. i've had to have discussions with her about stepping on my toes when it to comes to him. for a long time it seemed that whenever i made asuggestion to him she had that mommy knows best attitude. it drove me crazy. Would it be too uncomfortable for you to try and talk to her?
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (24 November 2009):
 Caring guy is right, but there is another issue you may need to consider, in Australia if you build a house on land owned by another person, that person can claim the house.
If you are going to be contributing financially towards the house you need to find our what the legal ramifications will be if for any reason you cease to be in a relationship with this man, accidents can happen and relationships can fail.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 November 2009):
This will be a problem for you and you're right to address it. Very often, it is not a good idea for two people who are opposites to be too close. You're neat, she's not etc. You are right it won't work out. It sounds like she's having trouble letting her little boy go, and he's having trouble with becoming independent. You need to be very honest with him, because your relationship won't work if he doesn't listen and respect you as well as her. You may ultimately have to make a choice about whether you want to say together. But for now, really try talking to him. Sometimes being very honest with a man wakes him up.
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