A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Please help me interpret this mans actions: I am new to the dating scene and am terrified of it. I met a cute guy today and we were talking for a few minutes. In that short time, he told me I was hot two times and tried to hug me. This was the first time I met him. He said we should get together since he is in town for Thanksgiving. When we talked on the phone later in the day he said, I drove by your town, I should have stopped over. Now, I would not have had him over,because I do not know him. Also, he said he was babysitting his ex girlfriends dog. I do not want to over analyze, but is he just looking for sex? Is it OK to tell a guy that your not that type of girl early on so we do not waste our time? I hate the dating scene and never thought I would be in it again. Please help me so I am not alone the rest of my life, I think I am going to be..Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much!
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEnjoy the game! My daughter and I are getting ready to visit family! She is nine and is very excited for The Holildays! It is very refreshing!
Thanks again for all of the great advice!
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (26 November 2009):
 Happy Thanksgiving to you, fellow American. I'm just going to sleep until the football games begin. Go Cowboys!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks my friends. I am not a drinker so I do not need to worry!
Enjoy Your Holiday today!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (26 November 2009):
Well I think that you are now cautious enough. Sure, give it a chance on neutral territory, such as at a restaurant or less advisable, a bar. He still requires more than a couple of meetings before you take him to your home.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question-Thank you to everyone for you answers. I emailed the guy and said I get the feeling you are looking for a hookup over Thanksgiving while you are in town.. He replied OMG, what would make you think that? I replied , that you said should have stopped over after you drove by my town, he said I misunderstood what he was saying and did not want to come over. In any event, he still wants to meet out for a drink. I have not been on a date in so long and would like to go. I put it out there, that I am not the type of girl for a one night stand and he still wants to go. Should I give him a chance? I am a very over analytical person. Any feedback is greatly appreciated!!
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (26 November 2009):
Yes, it sounds like a guy looking for action (sexual) and a probable one-night or one-weekend stand. Too bad, since you think he is cute, but not all guys are such cads.
"CaringGuy" offers some basic good advice, and as an older man also back into the dating scene, I'll offer a bit more. You are unlikely to meet a nice man at a knitting or quilting class, but you could try other activities such as ballroom (or other) dancing, gourmet cooking, arts & crafts, gardening, decorating or some other interesting class.
Church activities may be an option, but you may find (as I did) that older singles in church are rare. In any case, do not think so desperately. If your reported age range is accurate, then I'm apparently some 10 to 20 years older, and I have not given up! One more comment - I now consider most any 40-something female to be hot! LOL
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A
female
reader, bitch +, writes (26 November 2009):
He wants sex and he is not the only fish in the sea, there are other men who are decent and don't just want sex from a woman. There are many men who would like a nice companion and friend. He is not one of them and that is ok, just tell him you aren't interested. Why hate the dating scene? If you look at it as being fun, you might like it. There are really nice guys out there.
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A
female
reader, DiamondGirlx  +, writes (26 November 2009):
 Hey, i completely agree with caring guy here,
and also if you have a gut feeling that a guy just wants sex its never to early to tell him that your not just after sex because then they have 2 options they leave ya alone and walk away or they actually want to date you which is great :)
anyways hope u find mr right sum day :) D.Gx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Caring Guy. You seem like such a nice guy!
Thanks
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 November 2009):
 woman to woman, woman over 40 to woman over 40, yes, he was looking for sex, the fact he felt it was okay to attempt to hug you at first meeting also his hot comments, erk, he sounds slimy, good on you for not having him visit.
I would cut any further contact with him very, very short, if you fill your life up with people like this there will be very little room in it for the genuine people you are hoping to attract.
Re entering the dating game after a few decades out of it is very daunting, but not impossible. Have fun, yet stay safe and smart.
Good luck with it all
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A
female
reader, LadyCorsair +, writes (25 November 2009):
 You won't be alone sweetie! You'll find someone, I promise! He does sound like he's flirting majorly with you, and offering to stop by does make it sound like he's after some nookie! If you really like him, then tell him you're looking for a relationship or proper dating, not just sex! It's perfectly acceptable to make your feelings known!
Good luck
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 November 2009):
You won't be alone for the rest of your life. Well done for not taking this guy up. Yes, he was after sex pure and simple. If you want to meet a better guy, I would recommend taking up a hobby that men and women can do. That way you'll have something in common, and you won't feel so vulnerable. And when you do meet a nice guy, just tell him you'd like to take it slow and really get to know him. That way you won't get used. Keep your hope up and don't give in. There will be a good understanding guy out there for you.
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