A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I started dating this guy, and we were together for a year but broke up when I found out he had another girl. We remained friends, and recently he has been wanting to get back together with me. He has been telling me he loves me. However, recently he came to me and said that he was stuck. He said that he made some promises to this other girl to support her and always be with her, and never foresaw things going the way they have. He now feels that he can't break up with her b/c of these promises he has made even though he says he wants to be with me. We have not slept together at all in the 11 months since we broke up, and talk daily. We see each other at least once a week. We took a break in October and didn't see or talk that entire month. When we saw each other again it was amazing and we both admitted it. I know, or think I know, that he wants to break up with this other girl. I know that this situation is very hard on him as well and he feels a lot of pressure. My question is, would it be stupid of me to say that we can date, nothing committed and I can see other ppl should the opportunity arise, until and if he sorts his situation out. Or, should I just walk away? Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice everyone.
I think that the one thing that keeps me "hoping" for want of a better word is that she in no longer even in this country.
But I know that I need to walk away....for my own good. Can't keep being the one to make the sacrifices.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 November 2009):
I'm with G. This guy is saying one thing, but his actions say far more. If he wantedyou, he's be with you. I think he's a bit of a player to be honest, and I think you can do better, so be careful.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): If he really wants to be with you badly then he has to be 100% comitted to you and no one else. It sounds like a pathetic excuse saying he cant brake with his girlfriend becuase of some "promises" he made to her, i think you should wait till he leaves her for good before geting involved with him, raltionships dont work on a sharing basis.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (24 November 2009):
 I dont like the word "stupid" but yes, it would be very silly of you to resume a full on relationship with this man while he is still entangled elsewhere.
I cannot conceive of any situation where it would be imposible for him to end his relationship with the other girl so that he could start (resume) one with you. For heaven's sake Edward Windsor gave up the crown of England to be with the woman he loved, whats this man giving up?
Dont become second fiddle, if he cannot resolve his issues, why should you accept second best, walk away, with your head high and your dignity intact.
good luck!
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