A
male
age
41-50,
*ragon69
writes:long story short i started seein this girl 6 months ago and all of a sudden 2 days ago she came up to me crying her eyes out saying she can tell @ 6months whether shes going to marry a guy or not and she said she doesnt see me as one she would marry.. mind you this girl has got A LOT on her platter right now as far as emotions. she broke up with her ex to date me.. he put nails in my tired etc well so she never got to greve over that relationship but for the past 5-6 months she was completely happy with me. so she tells me now that she wants to break up and take some time to greve and to get her life straightened out. she said she really loves and cares about me but doesnt want to drag the relationship out if she cant see herself marrying me. now my questions is since she kept the ring i bought her i still have some of her stuff and she has some of mine and didnt seem like she was in a hurry to give it back should i sit back and wait and pray it all works out in the end or do i drop her stuff off and walk away. i love her to death i think she is the perfect girl for me i really do.. but i dont want it to end like this. please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2009): Do yourself a favour. Let her go and find someone better
A
male
reader, dragon69 +, writes (8 December 2009):
dragon69 is verified as being by the original poster of the question we stayed together long enough to last over thanksgiving i dont know if it was for the fam or what but she officially broke up with me sunday.. we talked weds night and it was over. sooo we exchanged things it wasnt bitter but she seemed to be avoiding a lot. she said she wanted to remain friends but just take a break. she also said that if we remain friends and something comes of it here with in the next few months then we would cross that bridge when we get to it. she also says she does miss me she cares about me and loves me just not sure if shes in love with me.. so i'm starting to play the waiting game with her. i am willing to wait cause i have some other things goin on in my life right now also starting school and all so with all she said and she is not bitter with me still loves me and cares about me is it good to just do the no contact thing and just wait patiently see what happens and maybe she will turn herself around in a few months or say forget it an move on. cause i'm 27 shes 26 we are both ready to settle down but i'm missing like one thing to make me the perfect husband.. but i told her i've bent my rules with myself because i fell in love with her. etc etc.. if you understand what i'm saying any input would be fabulous! thank you to all for the advice.
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A
male
reader, dragon69 +, writes (25 November 2009):
dragon69 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you everyone for all your advice i took most of your advise i did let things go for a few days and then she started slippin me subliminal notes on facebook so we ended up talking tonight for 4 hours to conclude in to a VERY positive reaction. things arent going to be the same but i managed to get her into "lets start over take things slow and see what happens"
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): I do apologize for what I am to say next. She sounds like a fruit basket. How do you know after 6 months if you want to marry or not? In my experience, and in that of many others, it takes at least a year-2 years to see what a person is really like. Either she got bored with you or she is incredibly naive. In either case I dont see why you should be with her, she sounds like she'll have more cards like this one to pull out of her sleeve, and life with her would be anything but stable.
Yes you are right she is emotional right now. But try to talk some sense into her. How old is she btw? She might be having a hard time now, but if this is the girl you really want to have a future with, bad times will happen in the future too, and now is the time to show her what you are made out of and that even though you may not understand, you are there for her.
Or walk away and save yourself the heartache. Perhaps she really is a genius and can tell so fast whether or not she wants a future with you, and it's not going to happen.
Personally though, I think she is nutts and is loosing out on possibly the best thing in her life, but we can't save people from their own lives and mistakes. We can only hope they grow from the experience, so maybe the next guy she dates makes her understand what she threw away with you, of that helps.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): Well, If i were you I would leave, hard as it may be. She sounds like she has alot of baggage if you stick around, she may just leave that baggage with you....
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (24 November 2009):
 was the ring an engagement ring, or just a gift? If not an engagement ring, well, there is little chance you will get it back.
However, get on the phone, ask her when you can get your stuff off her, (include the ring just in case she's is not as I suspect, ie aiming to keep it), and ask her when she would like to arrange to collect her stuff.
Sounds to me she has a short attention span when it comes to relationships.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2009): If you want her then by all means wait a bit. She just might need a release. You've heard the old saying: "if you love her then let her go, if she returns then shes yours forever, if she doesnt then she was never yours to begin with".
However decide now on a limit on how long you will wait.
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