A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, so my ex is my bestfriend and we broke up months ago, but nothing in our relationship changed, except intimacy. I still spent everyday with her, until recently when she moved in october but I was staying at her house week by week coming home weekends, until december when she called and told me she had a boyfriend, this is after calling him desperate and all types of things tell me she does want to be with me but cant, and shes changed a lot in this month. But I know her shes using him to fill a hole so she doesnt need to be alone, but shes not acting like my friend at all, her boyfriend got someone to call me and is now saying rascist comments and telling me I can not talk to my friend. We had a fight where I brought up everything she said and how we had sex around the same time they got together and now were a bit rocky and shes always been my friend no matter what and shes saying its all my fault, but its him coming between us. She has a son and I love him more than anything and this is affecting my relationship with a child I raised. I missed his birthday and party because of her boyfriend and now tomorrow were going to be having a talk, and I dont know what to say, I know she still loves me, weve been on and off before but shes treating me like garbage and its not like her. What do I say to her tomorrow?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012): You should move on. You're trying to cross boundaries with her, that's not right of you. She may be happy to have you as a friend but clearly she wants someone else as a boyfriend.
really, since you're officially broken up if you consider yourself as a 'friend' to her you would be fighting with her about her boyfriend. A real friend would be happy for her that she has a new romance in her life. You're not being a real friend to her, so you should get out of her life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012): You say goodbye and move on.
So long as she has another man in her life- you will be shut out or treated in such a manner.
Also do note that you trying to start crap and break them up brought on the consequences as you cannot be trusted to remain a Friend.
You may always have a love for her and Love her Son, but it is an ended chapter in your life.
She either is with you or she isn't. Its what is best for everyone, even Son.
Hang in There!
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A
female
reader, OscarsMummyReturns  +, writes (15 February 2012):
i think she has moved on, the fact that you spend every day together but nothing intimate happend says a lot to me... she loves your company maybe you were a safety net for her?? He is not purposely coming between you, she has chosen him as her boyfriend she has chosen him to be intimate with?? She loves you as a friend and values the time you have spent together and the fun you have had, but i think you have to take a big step back here otherwise you could alienate her altogether. Just be a friend, be there at the end of the phone in case she needs her.. give her space and let her see how this relationship works out and look elsewhere for an intimate relationship yourself - i think if you carry on you will lose her altogether ?? Tell her you love her but are finding it hard that she has fallen inlove with someone else, that you will give her space to see how the relationship pans out and if she wants to talk she knows where you are.. unfortunately you cant make someone want you - something i am struggling with right now in my personal life - if you love her you will want her to be happy - and in the meantime go out and enjoy yourself with other friends, and find someone hot yourself !!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (15 February 2012):
 You can't be best friends with an ex. It just doesn't work!
She has a boyfriend, and she has had male partners before, because she has a child.
I honestly think the best thing for you to do for YOU would be to cancel your meeting and just simply avoid all contact for six months or so until you get her out of your system.
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