A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,As a new year resolution I told my boyfriend that I was going to take better care of myself.. Do my hair better and wear makeup, because usually I go without any makeup. He never complains about how I look as he himself is a pretty low maintenance guy. I woke up yesterday and thought to myself I would start today! So I did myself up and snapped a pic of myself and picture messaged it to him. He didn't reply for a couple hours... And when he did call he got to talking about it and said was it ok for him to delete my pic because it doesn't look like me and stalled for a bit and said that I look like some other girl he knew.. He stalled again and said that it was an older lady that use to hang out with his aunties. He said it must of been the angle at which I took the photo (which was straight in the face) I was completely offended and just changed the subject but he brought it back up.. So I told him: He was really rude. I did myself up this morning because I wanted to look good but if this was all he had to say to me then I'll never send him another pic of me and whoever he's comparing me to he knows exactly who but just doesn't want to say. I told him I was having a good morning and didn't want to carry the conversation any further said good bye and hung up. He made my cry so hard! As long as I can remember I've had blemished skin and he just made me feel soo much more uglier. I washed all my make up off. How do I forgive him for this? If he ever says I'm beautiful I'll always feel inside that he doesn't really mean it. I don't even know how I'm going to get past this because we're getting married this year. He's been apologizing and sending flowers for hurting my feelings. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2012): Make sure you are doing your make up properly. If you don't often wear it, its easy to be heavy handed and end up looking like you put your make up on in the dark. go slowly until you get used to it, and try to aim for a nice, natural look that will inhance your features. Honestly though guys do not usually care or notice. they may know that you look prettier one day or for a special event or something, but they are not going to say to themselves 'hey, she's wearing mascara today. hot.' If you made yourself look like someone's old aunt's friend then you can't blame your bf for giving you fair warning that whatever you had done, it wasn't quite working
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2012): What an idiot. *sighs*So its his issue, not you. He doesnt want you to wear make up because it makes him feel (its a choice) uncomfortable because it reminds him of someone he may have had a crush on, an older woman?I don't know, thats what I get from it.I commend him on his honesty and attempt at not hiding or keeping secrets. So I find it a good thing that he was feeling comfortable and safe and thought he could trust you to be so. Its not many men that WANT to do that. In fact they tend to not say much which isn't fair to the relationship or them, or even you.He just needed to be tactful. That comes with time and age.I don't honestly think he wanted to hurt you. He probably was trying to figure out what to say but was at a loss so said what he did. It sucks it hurt you and you took it that way.I say this is one of those, you dress up and do what you want so long as it makes you happy, and you will have to forgive him on this one.It was miscommunication and not him wanting to hurt you.Forgiveness. Talk about it, clear it up. Work together- thats the key.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (28 January 2012):
 He loves YOU enough that he plans to marry this year. Poor blighter probably didn't realise what a hole he was digging when he failed to recognise your putting on makeup as a way to improve yourself, he may not even have thought you could be improved upon!
Those pictures we take of ourselves often look a little weird, have you not noticed that, our faces are not natural because we have our arms stretched out in front and we are attempting to make sure we actually get our heads in the frame without being able to see what we are doing.
Give him a break. He isn't used to a girlfriend wearing makeup, and then holding her arm out and the head just so to take a pic.
Put the make up on again, tizzy up the hair and get a decent photographer to take a picture while you are in a relaxed pose, I guarantee even you will be able to see a difference.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 January 2012):
 I think you had every right to be hurt, that was a low blow. How do you get over it? Slowly and hopefully he will learn to keep his foot out of his mouth.
There was no need for him to do this. He could have said, I think you are prettier without make up or just shut up and thanked you.
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